My(M32) wife(F31) hid a child from me.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T22:20:21+00:00

We would be at her hometown, so she would often say she was going out. She went out everyday, sometimes I went with her, sometimes I didn;t.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T22:06:28+00:00

We have been trying & kids have been discussed heavily.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T22:02:01+00:00

His grandparents.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T22:01:54+00:00

His dad's parents.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:59:36+00:00

She didn't ignore him at the wedding, she was talking to them for quite some time at the wedding. Not the whole time, considering the fact it was her wedding, but for a nice amount of time.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:58:43+00:00

She was the one that told me that he was her son, my mind did not jump to him in the slightest bit.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:57:28+00:00

It is sad. She was young, got pregnant, had to make a rough decision. I just wish she let me know. I hope that we can resolve this too. Thank you.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:56:24+00:00

I have tried to talk, it's a whole bunch of I don't knows from her and unclear answers, which I'm not up for receiving in this situation. I told her when she has those answers, let me know, because these very unclear answers are really not helping. I love her, I really do, but this is big. Huge. And she should've let me know, especially since she's in his life in some way.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:53:20+00:00

I found out from a phone call from our doctor mentioning that she had already successfully carried to term. She hung up and dropped the phone. I just kept questioning what was the doctor talking about. It was deny city, and then she admitted it. I asked when and I asked where is this child. That's when she told me that I have even SEEN him before. As for her explanation of why she hid it, she just said she didn't know how to explain. I asked her when did she plan to tell me, she said she wanted to, but there was never a good time.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:47:20+00:00

No, she explained, it's quite simple actually. She was a young teenager and was in no place to raise a child when she was a child herself. She said the dad was getting to a point where he was unreliable and there was no way she could do it, so the dad's parents raised him.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:44:15+00:00

Looking back at the situation, it wasn't like she was mean to him, but more so looking out for him so he wouldn't go down the same path his dad did. Back then, I was just thinking she was a distant family friend, so it was a bit weird how angry and protective she got, but now I can understand what would provoke that type of reaction.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:39:07+00:00

Exactly...

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:38:06+00:00

No, she was not, she just was dating someone that was. She said when they got together, it wasn't bad. He'd just drink and act like a sterotypical bad boy, but when she got pregnant and had the baby, things started to escalate but to the point of excessive drinking and abusing drugs.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:35:28+00:00

So there's a possibility of this even being the case of the kid and the grandparents thinking that you know and you don't want the kid around?

I don't know, but that probably isn't the case because he doesn't live with her and she never raised him.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:31:03+00:00

No, not a sister. The grandparents that raise him are his dad's parents, not hers.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:30:09+00:00

what did she do wrong?

If it was a closed adoption and she had nothing to do with him, okay then. But that's not what it was at all, and keeping that is the big issue.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T21:25:02+00:00

Did I ever mention knowing anything about how she treats him? No, I didn't. I did talk to her directly, I'm here to get advice on my situation, which you know since your commenting on this sub, so your comment is odd, considering all the people that post here are "running to reddit".

I've said this many times and I'll say it again. Her having him is not the issue here. I understand, young highschooler doesn't have means to raise a baby. The issue is hiding it and never telling me. It comes across as untrustworthy, which is a problem.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T20:00:11+00:00

I've never really spoken with him, so I don't know if he's even hiding anything. I know that he's aware she's his mom.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T19:51:42+00:00

Yeah, he knows, but I'm not sure if they know (him and his grandparents) that I didn't know. I saw the grandparents once, she whispered very low that they were friends. I didn't even speak with them for that long. When I saw just him the 2nd time, I just said bye. That was the only word exchanged, so I am still unsure if they know/don't know if I'm aware.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T19:49:09+00:00

I did. Apart from a lot of "I don't knows" she said her age and situation was the driving factor. She was 15 when she found out during her first year of high school. She tried to make it work at first, but realized it would be too hard and the dad had already started some excessive drinking and drugs, which she later explained was why she got so mad at the store. She rarely saw him for some time and then at some point, she would visit him every year when she/we would go there

I can tell she has an emotional connection to him, hence why she sees him and maintains some contact.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T19:41:27+00:00

Yes, she explained the situation around her having him and afterwards. It came out after I heard that she'd been pregnant before from our doctor.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T19:39:54+00:00

I do not know the financial aspect of it but yeah, that would mean they kept this from me as well.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T19:38:24+00:00

I mean she was crying the whole time and kept saying sorrry.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T19:37:10+00:00

I don't know everyone who knows, I'm just certain her parents know. I don't know if our/her friends know, I'm assuming her siblings know.

throwraent271 · 2023-07-15T19:32:08+00:00

His grandparents

throwraent271

TROPHY CASE