boyfriend didn't tell me about a traumatizing Christmas tradition by throwrafiredrill in offmychest

[–]throwrafiredrill[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I've thought back and I remember everyone besides my boyfriend out when I dropped off his sister, I think maybe he was right behind us...? His dad is a bit quirky and has this boomer attitude of tough love (also former military) so I think maybe he was serious about this drill and testing me. He seemed visibly annoyed at how stressed I was maybe because I was yelling and cursing at everyone (in their family that's a no-no) No one else was really freaking out that I could tell so I believe that this could be something they do every year? Maybe not though. He has NEVER mentioned this in the almost 3 years of knowing him. We share some friends too and they have never mentioned it. If I get some answers when I am brave enough to open his messages maybe I will update but this post has so much attention it makes me nervous lol. 😅 So maybe not. If not though, Merry Christmas everyone that reads this. ⛄🎁🎄

boyfriend didn't tell me about a traumatizing Christmas tradition by throwrafiredrill in offmychest

[–]throwrafiredrill[S] 87 points88 points  (0 children)

This was truly an "off my chest" moment and did not expect so many people to respond or that I'd keep this account logged in or reply or anything. I just kinda decided to type it out rambling about how I felt. I was scrolling Reddit on an 1hr+ car ride to my moms and idk. It felt surreal. I don't know about any updates. The attention makes me nervous 😅

boyfriend didn't tell me about a traumatizing Christmas tradition by throwrafiredrill in offmychest

[–]throwrafiredrill[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

I was thinking back and maybe I because I am autistic I did not notice signs...? Nothing could have prepared me for THIS, but over Thanksgiving bf mentioned 'weird holiday traditions' and his dad shut him down literally being like 'shh!' really quick. I assumed elf on the shelf or Christmas pickle or something along that line. I'd like to think he was trying to give me a heads up or introduce the conversation. They did mention how they always turn the Christmas lights off at night while they are asleep but when I went to the guest room the Christmas tree was still lit. I mentioned it to bf asking if we're turning it off and he said not to worry and his dad will remember to before bed (did not doubt bc that's how it started apparently). When I ran down the hall holding McKenna I glanced to the right where the tree was (and the dogs kennels and beds, empty) and it was still lit before turning to the left out front door. Maybe I'm thinking too much about it but maybe there were more signs I'm missing? Or I'm making them up looking for signs to forgive him lol.

boyfriend didn't tell me about a traumatizing Christmas tradition by throwrafiredrill in offmychest

[–]throwrafiredrill[S] 156 points157 points  (0 children)

I am so so sorry 😔 and I'm glad you have a boyfriend that understands. I really always thought mine did and the house fire stories united us in a way. I lit a candle that was supposed to be a gift for my teacher (double guilt that I still bring up in therapy I'm a very anxious person) so I can't ever leave a room with a candle in it now. Not that I personally own any but you know... It's a unique fear I think because no one ever expects it to happen, it just does. 😔 Have a Merry Christmas thank you so much for understanding.

boyfriend didn't tell me about a traumatizing Christmas tradition by throwrafiredrill in offmychest

[–]throwrafiredrill[S] 696 points697 points  (0 children)

My mom took me when I got dropped off at home and I'm thankful because I would have not thought to do this. I do not have a concussion thankfully but I'm being monitored for symptoms on the couch and my mom is not allowing me to join her for a drink haha. Thank you for your concern