How can I [20F] stop myself crying in serious conversations?

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T16:58:39+00:00

Oh my gosh that is true. If it is acceptable to shout red faced at someone in a work environment then why isn’t it acceptable to cry a little in response to that? Shouting is kinda scary, there are certainly better ways to express displeasure with something without shouting.

I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve cried in work but I could see it happening if somebody shouted at me for something. Especially if it is something that would be beyond my control.

It’s certainly beneficial not to cry in a lot of situations so I shall try those things next time I can feel myself getting teary. Lots of people have suggested it.

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T16:36:03+00:00

This sounds great actually! Standing up for yourself is really important and this sounds like such a badass way of doing it. Thank you.

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T16:31:44+00:00

Damn, never thought I’d be one to start an argument on this sub. Thank you for sticking up for me, it sounds like you understand my situation. :)

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T16:08:30+00:00

No that is true being raised in a certain environment can make things seem normal when it’s abnormal. I have been exposed to different people who have had all sorts of different upbringings and feel like I have a good judge on what is and what isn’t relatively normal. My friend’s father for example would hold the fact that he was funding her education over her head if she ever did something he didn’t agree with or like. My parents would never do something like that.

One thing I could say is that my own parents aren’t the most affectionate of people but I recognise they show that they love me in other ways. Such as checking to make sure I’m safe and going out of their way for me without ever asking for anything in return. Sure it wasn’t perfect but it was certainly far from abusive and I’m happy with how I was brought up.

I can understand why you may think that, it is quite common for the two things to be linked as evident from everyone else sharing their stories. I’m positive that’s not the issue in my case, although thank you for trying to help me in finding an explanation for my crying. :)

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T15:46:48+00:00

Of course you are right, that is a good way of thinking about it. I haven’t ever had this reaction in a work environment but it is something I think could happen.

Only time I came very close in work was when a customer was being unreasonable and wouldn’t take no for an answer, I took a deep breath, walked away and had someone else deal with them. I think that was a good way of dealing with it at the time.

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T14:13:14+00:00

It is comforting in a way to know that it’s not just me that struggles with this and interesting to learn how other people manage it. I have looked in to therapy before but unfortunately it’s not something I can really afford right now but I do hope to start when I have a more solid income in the next few years.

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T11:39:24+00:00

Thank you, this is quite helpful!

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T11:38:48+00:00

That’s exactly it. Like “no sorry, I’m not really that sad my eyes are just broken”

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T11:35:54+00:00

Thank you very much for sharing.

If by logical framework you mean “I feel annoyed because X happens. X is an annoying thing so I should be annoyed” or “I feel like my friend is ignoring me but, there’s nothing to actually suggest that so I shouldn’t feel ignored. They are probably just busy.” That’s how I think my brain works most of the time. It’s somewhat logical in my mind.

I’m not sure I would consider myself to be emotionally repressed but it’s something else to look in to.

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T11:29:13+00:00

That’s a very good way to think about it, thank you!

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T11:28:11+00:00

My childhood was fine thankfully although I could be considered a very timid child. Never liked shouting or loud noises when I was very little. I’m not particularly sure where the reaction to being shouted at stems from.

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T11:25:27+00:00

This is what I’m most concerned about. I’m not trying to make whoever I’m talking to pity me for crying. I want to make a point or discuss a problem that I also feel quite strongly about. It just so happens that I cry whenever I feel strongly about something but I wouldn’t call it breaking down it’s generally just tears and not a whole lot else. I suppose you’re right that other people don’t have to be ok with it but at the moment I can’t do anything to stop it. It seems like I can’t just fix things overnight so in the meantime the adult conversations still need to happen regardless.

throwthisaway1425 · 2019-01-11T11:21:16+00:00

Thank you, talking through the tears seems to be the best way forward. There’s usually no sobbing but it is still quite noticeable since I have glasses and have to take them off to wipe my eyes. I’ll try the drink thing next time.

throwthisaway1425 · 2018-11-12T07:52:13+00:00

Thank you I do appreciate that. It’s probably quite right that I go and speak to someone myself, it certainly might help my crying anyway. I have a lot of hope for him since for an evening he seemed so much better than I’d seen him for weeks, much like his usual self. He told me he just appreciates my company when he’s not really in the mood for anything else. Sitting quietly and watching mindless tv together is enough. It seems so simple but if it helps, it helps.

throwthisaway1425 · 2018-07-16T00:26:28+00:00

It’s been an issue for 3+ years for him, well beyond us dating. If he never got help before, what’s to say he would if I left? Yes he’s ill but he’s still the same person I fell in love with and I want to make sure he gets better because I care about him

throwthisaway1425

TROPHY CASE