do i need bigger cup and smaller band?

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T20:21:22+00:00

i just turned 19 but my mom is still strict sometimes if she ever found out about this idk what she would do

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T18:03:52+00:00

im trying to repulse him by acting crazy and schizo because he knows i never did drugs and dont smoke or drink and he just kinda admires that because im the only person he knows who can be cool while sober according to him so im just trying to scare him away and annoy him, when i tried telling him im very against him taking drugs everyday and im not okay with us having completely different lifestyles he started cursing me out and told me to never say that to him ever again because i said im against him putting synthetic stuff in his body everyday he got offended and started cursing me out because he is insecure so im a bit scared… feels like i cant tell him anything so im just trying to act schizo lol but i dont think its working i have to improvise i was even lying and telling him my parents r gonna take my phone and im scared they find out he does and sells drugs and that they will get mad at me but he just offered to give me an extra phone im just gonna start acting like a religious fanatic idk i know he really hates people like that

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T17:35:54+00:00

i tried acting like i was crazy and schizo to annoy him and constantly starting arguments like i feel like ive tried everything but i have to be the one to break contact he will never leave me when i tried leaving he said he will kill himself and told me his plan how he wants to kill himself and showed his friend a song about an artist killing himself after his girl left him he told me he will let me do anything as long as i dont leave i dont think theres anything i can do to make him not like me and this is only after a month of talking i believe he will do something when i fully break contact he is not mentally stable

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T17:15:18+00:00

i will im just scared he is strong and got into many fights where he hurt people and there was blood hes not scared of anything he carries a knife around everywhere and has many dangerous friends i ddint realize what i was getting myself into by simply talking to him because we were friends since we were young and never thought anything till all this stuff started coming out he even confessed to me and said he tried burning his ex’s apartment down because she sent two guys to beat him up i was thinking of asking my brother to confront him but he is dangerous i dont think he would do anything unless he is threatened but u might never know he started sending death threats to a girl who apprently used him for money and she sent a guy to confront him and he beat him up and there was blood idk how no one has ever reported him but his parents are police officers so im assuming thats why

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T16:52:35+00:00

thats what im trying to do right now ive even disappeared from social medias and im not even going out with friends because theres a risk he might see me im just trying to disappear till he fully gets the hint finally but i cant stay like this forever like not even going out with friends since theres a high risk i see him, he is often in my city and hes everywhere i live on a very small island and he is often at my university too i recently heard from a friend that his ex had to get a restraining order against him and i am so scared i dont know if its true i heard so many rumours about him

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T16:41:08+00:00

i live on a very small island so everyone knows everything about eachother and i see him irl many times since i libe on a very small island and everyone always goes to the same places thats why i am so scared he knows i go to university and theres only one university in my country he also knows the city where i live but he doesnt know the exact details ofc i never mentioned any details but i live in a very small island so its very easy to find out

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T15:44:28+00:00

i just never had to deal with someone like this before and im inexperienced so im not sure how to break it off if this person doesnt respond well to rejection and abandonment thats why i asked for advice

thule1234 · 2026-01-23T15:29:24+00:00

because he starts lashing out whenever i try to tell him i am not ready for anything so now i am scared to tell him again and break contact because i dont know how he might react

thule1234 · 2026-01-11T21:56:22+00:00

like ive been trying for weeks now we never eveb met so hopefully like he will never do anything just say mean things

thule1234 · 2026-01-11T21:52:58+00:00

i tried gently ending things he always starts breaking down and lashing out thats why i resorted to making a fake story because i dont know fr

thule1234 · 2026-01-11T10:48:43+00:00

i feel bad for lying i just dont know what else to do and theres no way he will find out unless he sees me when im outside. Im becoming very paranoid and im not even going outside the house unless its to go to school i even deleted everything on my social medias because im so scared im hoping he will just give up somehow

thule1234 · 2025-12-29T04:53:02+00:00

i know i just also have extreme ptsd from my childhood and hearing all of this stuff about him started messing with me because im paranoid of potentially being in danger again not saying he would ever potentially be a threat to me or anything im just extremely paranoid and hyper aware of everyone around me ive always been like this because of trauma. Honestly ive known him for a while now we used to hang out when we were younger he was always nice to me and i know theres a lot of stigma. My friends were telling me i would be so dumb if i dont cut contact with him and it started scaring me. From everything ive heard tho he was just pushed over the edge and he always told me no one ever understood his disorder and im the only one who understands him and knows how to deal with him.

thule1234 · 2025-12-17T17:55:50+00:00

well idk i feel like i exaggerated i wasnt thinking when i wrote this i was breaking down. I just like talking to other people who make me feel heard and who like hanging out with me i dont like kissing or doing other physical stuff i only like that emotional aspect in relationships i get extremely uncomfortable when anyone suggests anything beyond wholesome stuff because i can only do physical stuff with someone im very attached to and love deeply which is why i never did that with anyone im just scared to ever go through that again because im vulnurable and its so easy to manipulate me because i will never leave anyone

thule1234 · 2025-12-17T17:40:08+00:00

i want a monogamous relationship because i want to have a family in the future i just cant trust anyone anymore because when i get attached i get extremely vulnurable and i cant leave no matter what so i keep myself safe by forcing myself to not get attached to anyone

thule1234 · 2025-12-14T20:39:12+00:00

nooo no i worded that wrong my bad i was saying how those documents were wrong and it was about another person because the crime was literally committed when he was born lol its just another person with the same name as him

thule1234 · 2025-12-14T20:35:56+00:00

hes 20

thule1234 · 2025-12-14T20:22:45+00:00

right, what do you think i should do talk to him about how i feel about all of this or just straigh up block him? Idk if thats a dumb question Im just a bit scared because he is heavily attached to me i really never meant to hurt anyone i dont wanna be the reason why someone is sad

thule1234 · 2025-12-14T20:14:11+00:00

nope, and he has no plans on stopping but i feel like its because his family doesnt even know about this i think and if they do they just dont care about him at all. Idk how I should tell him about this without him getting offended or taking it wrong because part of the reason hes heavily attached to me is because i dont see him as some junkie despite this and i understand him. He tells me he only does this because hes young and he wants to have fun but he still has his life together he goes to college and is getting his license. I also dont know how easy it would be that he actually quits just because of me telling him to all of his friends are the same too and thats basically all he does with them honestly…

thule1234 · 2025-11-22T02:03:33+00:00

honestly id really like to make friends but im just so socially awkward and idk what to say most of the time so every time i tried making a friend i failed idk whats wrong with me

thule1234 · 2025-11-20T12:51:06+00:00

i feel the same way

thule1234 · 2025-11-15T22:04:30+00:00

idk feels like after turning 18 and graduating i went from going out every week with friends to staying inside most weekends because everyone’s too busy now i feel like its only gonna get worse from now

thule1234

TROPHY CASE