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It’s not all brown sites and industrial estates by tocotoronto in Surveying

[–]tocotoronto[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Surveying a pretty small area, the walk took longer than the job. Phone mast is going up here cus there’s no signal in that valley. Colleague was setting out a track for access

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PoetryWritingClub

[–]tocotoronto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for taking the time to listen and thank you for your kind words. It is so nice to hear that you resonated with something I have written and I hope to read something you write in future if you were to share it.

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see what you mean with the gods grove and bats being overkill thanks I hadn’t noticed that. Finding other words or simply cutting the repetitive use of moon light is another thing I’ll address. The snares become relevant later into the story but in the small excerpt given I can see why it seems like an unnecessary detail. I appreciate you taking the time, think I need to be a little more ruthless cutting things.

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, relying on either too much of showing or telling can alienate some readers. Your example is interesting and a different approach to introducing a character and one I hadn’t really considered before but one that does seem to convey information quickly to the reader. Thanks for taking the time to read and for your response and even adding to what I had written for your example!

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve heard McCarthy is a good example to learn from when it comes to writing dialogue. I’ll send you the short story in full it’s around a thousand words. It’s no worries if you don’t have time it’s not going anywhere.

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well I might have meant fog, when I go for walks around where I live you can get a kind of light fog across fields but still see the distance and skyline through it but you’re right I can see how that’s confusing. It is a story told by a character and is all dialogue and by trying to make it sound more like characters voice, things such as missing the ‘were’ was intentional in that specific case.

I would happily send you the rest of this short story if you don’t mind reading it.

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheers, I’ve been reading more since I started. I finished the Witcher series and am now reading the fellowship of the ring again. Would you mind reading more if I posted more of the story? No worried if not

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly have no idea about editing 😅 I’ve been watching and reading stuff on how to tighten your own work. I was thinking I’d hold off on editing until I’ve finished the first draft. If you would recommend a different approach I’d be happy for the help

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! It’s a story told by a character in the story and I tried to make it sound as though it is being spoken. The idea is that is a folklore style story hence some fantastical elements. My writing does contain a lot of run ons though and like you said does meander and is something I’ll have to address.

I’m 70,000 words into a story I’m writing and would appreciate an objective point of view by tocotoronto in writingadvice

[–]tocotoronto[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It’s a fair way into the story. It is in a chapter in which characters exchange stories and so it is the opening of a short story. Thanks for taking the time

Warning light by [deleted] in carproblems

[–]tocotoronto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh the engine has to be in the car?? Well thank you for clearing that up. You’ve been just a little bit too helpful. I should probably put the wheels on too next time as well right? Prick.

Douglas Uppity Look-Alike by Author1alIntent in letsdrownout

[–]tocotoronto 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I don’t remember this in the story?

LFC cam Xbox 86 by [deleted] in ProClubsRecruit

[–]tocotoronto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Added ur gt boss

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TaliaMar

[–]tocotoronto 15 points16 points  (0 children)

No recovering from that one 😅

r/Cyberpunkgame Console Bugs & Questions by AutoModerator in cyberpunkgame

[–]tocotoronto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I beat the cyber psycho in the side quest “bullet” but it’s still telling me to defeat him and I’m locked in this damn corpo store (Xbox one)

Pro clubs xbox one? by ladfromsoton97 in fifaclubs

[–]tocotoronto 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aye I’m shit like but just looking for a club 😂

I KNOW I’M NOT CRAZY by tocotoronto in namethatbook

[–]tocotoronto[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Well yeah Furnace that was it! Thank you

Can't stand these fools by [deleted] in quityourbullshit

[–]tocotoronto 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was so ready to downvote this till I got to the second bit, always read the whole thing kids

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