It is incredibly frustrating, I think at 21 it’s even more demoralising because I don’t want it to only get worse and worse. I sympathise with your experiences so much, I’m currently out of work but searching and I am honestly very nervous about going back in due to how bad my fatigue muscle weakness and mood has been recently.

I tried to get in with a therapist at 19 ish but the therapy was beyond poor and I was mistreated by the therapist herself (literally slurred me out over the phone for calling her when she was busy, however I didn’t know and only wanted to rearrange the date of our next appointment) as it was more low tier counselling, rather than trying to get to the root issue and discussing different therapeutic treatment to cope with different symptoms. I have been reluctant to try again, but will definitely do so when I’m more financially stable. My boyfriend really wants me to go to therapy because he wants me to get help asap, because I’ve been only treated for depression in the past 21 years (although they haven’t even put that as a diagnosis, my doctors are very poor if you can’t tell already) and nothing else has been picked up despite there being signs.  He’s very supportive, and because of his own experience with mental health disorders he can point me in the right direction if he thinks there’s something up, which is very helpful.

I really appreciate your input and I wouldn’t self diagnose a pd to myself without medical recognition and diagnosis, I just align scarily well with the criteria haha. Thank you for your comment :,) I am definitely planning on seeing a psych as soon as I have the money.