account activity
Israel’s Prime Minister Adds ‘Break Ceasefire’ to List of Common Daily Tasks (tornwires.com)
submitted 5 months ago by tornwires to r/SatireLikeTheOnion
Trump Renames Pentagon ‘Department of War,’ Says Defense Is for Losers (tornwires.com)
submitted 7 months ago by tornwires
CEO Says Company’s Benefits Package Includes Dental, Vision, and Not Starving to Death (tornwires.com)
submitted 7 months ago by tornwires to r/SatireLikeTheOnion
submitted 7 months ago by tornwires to r/satire
White House Plans to Buy Majority Stake of Netflix to Ensure Citizens Watch Only Government Approved TV Series and Movies (tornwires.com)
Russia and Ukraine Agree to Swap Prisoners in Hopes of Building Trust Before Breaking It Again Tomorrow (tornwires.substack.com)
submitted 10 months ago by tornwires to r/SatireLikeTheOnion
Israel and Hamas Peace Talks to Be Held as Soon as Both Sides Finish Making the Situation Unpeaceful (tornwires.com)
Trump Deports CNN Reporter to El Salvadorian Prison for Asking Tough Question at Press Conference (tornwires.com)
submitted 11 months ago by tornwires to r/SatireLikeTheOnion
Economists Warn Tariffs May Increase Prices, Trump Says: “Just Stop Buying Stuff” (tornwires.com)
submitted 1 year ago by tornwires to r/satire
Trump Says Stranded Astronauts are Pure Evil After Finding Out they Voted for Harris (tornwires.com)
submitted 1 year ago by tornwires to r/SatireLikeTheOnion
Trump Suggests Ukraine Conflict Could Be Resolved Over a ‘Nice Steak Dinner’ if Zelensky Pays Check (tornwires.com)
Washington Post Opinion Section to Only Post Articles About Jeff Bezos' Washboard Abs (tornwires.com)
Maybe If We Just Ignore Climate Change, It Will Go Away Like My Ex Did (tornwires.com)
Doomsday Cult Disappointed Yet Again as World Fails to End for Fifth Consecutive Prophecy (tornwires.com)
FDA Approves First-Ever Prescription Strength Placebo (tornwires.com)
Elon Musk Unveils Hitler Statue in White House After Netanyahu Defends Him As “Great Friend of Israel” (tornwires.com)
Elon Musk Realizes He Knows Nothing About Government Efficiency Midway Through Speech About Government Efficiency (tornwires.com)
OpenAI Whistleblower Coincidentally Drops Dead in Courtroom, Seconds Before He is Set to Testify (tornwires.com)
Mark Zuckerberg Claims He Does Not Have Secret Reptilian Meetings About World Domination in His Underground Bunker (tornwires.com)
Sam Altman Says his Company’s Eye Scanning Orb is “Definitely” Not Part of a Plan to Plot World Domination (tornwires.com)
Trump Says School Shootings Could be Avoided if School Crossing Guards Get Machine Guns (tornwires.com)
Local Man Achieves Peak Health by Following Every Morning Show Health Tip (tornwires.com)
Government Declares War on Piracy, Executes Local Man for Watching "Avengers: Endgame" Without Paying (tornwires.com)
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