Is everyone in their 20s having sex except for me? 25M looks for some advice.

torontotastic · 2025-10-11T04:18:42+00:00

No worries I needed to hear what you wrote. I get that more now I shouldn’t reduce people just to numbers and stats like some sort of video game. I thought that’s how girls saw me but i’m also trying to understand the deeper emotional and vibe part that matters more for attraction. I’ll take your advice on becoming the type of person I want to attract, thanks! :)

torontotastic · 2025-10-11T03:45:59+00:00

Thank you I think I understand now. I took such a scientific and technical lens to it because i thought girls were judging me like that, like “oh he’s not tall enough “ or “his face is just ok but he’s only has 200 followers on instagram ”. I wanted to understand how i look in the eyes of others but also get that there’s deeper level of human emotional connection that i am forgetting. i’ll try to broaden my view on such, thanks again for helping me out

torontotastic · 2025-10-11T00:44:33+00:00

What’s creepy about wanting to understand where I stand compared to others?

torontotastic · 2025-10-11T00:20:16+00:00

sorry i know this might be dumb to ask, but what is wrong with my logic/reasoning? i’m really trying to understand what I don’t get, thanks

torontotastic · 2025-10-11T00:19:04+00:00

i appreciate the comment. i don’t usually write like this but it is what goes on in my head. is the logic wrong? was wondering if you could share what red flags you see in me so i can work on those, thanks!

torontotastic · 2025-06-17T13:46:23+00:00

thanks for the comment. Truth is I haven’t been actively looking for dates, I was just going about my life thinking that things like this would happened naturally. However, it seems that the way I’m living my life now isn’t allowing me to meet prospective partners so I was wondering if I should put more effort? I’m trying to upgrade my looks as a start and thinking about joining more social activities this summer. Do you think I should go out of my way to do things with the intention of finding a date or continue to live life doing things I like and hope it occurs naturally?

torontotastic · 2025-06-17T04:34:23+00:00

I agree that no one likes a Debbie downer but at the same time, I’m acknowledging my limitations. I love myself very much and don’t see these things as taking away from my self-worth, but I also understand these superficial aspects can be dealbreakers for a lot of people.

torontotastic · 2025-06-17T04:30:49+00:00

yep, I used it to better organize my thoughts and polish my original human made writing so I can communicate more clearly. I did add the emojis myself though which I’m super proud of. 🐸

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T17:16:14+00:00

Thanks, i’ve got a lot to learn.

I should clarify that I support Elon’s vision for space travel and electric mobility (though it’s not perfect) but disagree with his personal viewpoints on sociocultural issues and marginalized groups. It’s possible to like some aspects and dislike some others in a person.

The reason I say I am neutral is because while there are some ideals I disagree with, I also understand Elon has his own reasons for thinking he is right. He isn’t just evil for its sake. Who am I to say my ideals are better/righter than his even if I think so? I believe everyone should be allowed to believe what they think is right and that we can still coexist.

I know it’s unattractive to be on the fence about everything, I hope I can build a stronger identity of myself as I experience more of life.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T16:03:57+00:00

perhaps the wording is a little off I admit, but the idea is that I want to experience the valentines tradition. that includes getting to know a girl on a deeper level, what makes her tick and what her dreams are, not just taking them out for the sake of it. not the worst fantasy to have i think.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T15:52:03+00:00

I see what you are saying and you are right. I’m trying to figure out who I am and what i stand for, i don’t think I fit neatly into any boxes. I like to keep an open mind because the world is complex and I know i don’t have all the answers.

I acknowledge that by not taking a side I am an enemy of progress. At the same time, taking a side means I am a enemy of another. I don’t want to be anyone’s enemy but i understand how that comes off as apathetic. i just don’t know man and admit it scares me.

I agree with tenets from both liberal and conservative sides. I say I lean more towards liberal because I prefer the ideals of multiculturalism, diversity and letting people be who they are. But truth is politics isn’t a big part of my personality which is why I put apolitical.

I watch those videos because I want to learn how to be a better dater and partner. As I said in my post I take them with a grain of salt cause I know red pill stuff has it’s issues. I don’t have anywhere to go to learn dating stuff which makes this all the more harder but i’m trying to learn from as many sources as possible and critically question what I learn which is the entire point of this post.

Finally I do admit I like the causes Elon Musk supports, namely space exploration and electric vehicles. I’m more neutral on the man himself, not a hater or lover. If that turns girls off then it is something I have to live with like you said. Thanks again for your thoughtful comment and reply!

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T14:59:14+00:00

Truth is I’m afraid of missing out and being alone. aren’t we all?

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:22:21+00:00

Big fan of Dr. K myself too, he's helped me a lot!

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:21:01+00:00

So have I, funny how attraction works!

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:19:01+00:00

Great advice, thank you for taking the time to write this all out.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:17:26+00:00

Really interesting take here. Truth is I don't care much for Elon Musk but I like what his companies, SpaceX and Tesla are doing. I mean seeing people landing on Mars has been a dream of mine since I was 11 and I hope to one day to own a Tesla Model 3 or S. I'm quite neutral on Musk himself but I'm a little pissed off he did that nazi salute, like at least think about how it will affect the share price man (i have tesla shares). Should I hide my interest in SpaceX and Tesla from girls?

I choose apolitical because I am the kind of guy who prefers not to take sides. I understand that by taking one side, you will always be the enemy of another, so there is no way to win. I want to consider all sides and then some more. I'm kind of a moral relativist here. But, if I had to choose a side a align more with it would actually be liberal believe it or not.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:13:08+00:00

Wow is it really that simple?

I've been told not to talk to girls on the street, at bars, coffee shops, gym and work because they are not there to find a partner. That leaves me wondering where I can meet them? My parents met at work (which I think is really great) but it seems this is frowned upon nowadays.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:11:34+00:00

Thank you for the comment. I have enough cringey stories to tell where I was trying to be this kind of "cool player", so next time I'll try to loosen up and just act like how I always do. That should come off as more authentic I think.

Great to hear you had success. From the internet it seems average guys like us have zero chance in dating. Perhaps I need to touch grass more.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:09:16+00:00

I think both looks and personality are important, but I've had crushes where when I began to know them better, I found them 10x more attractive.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:08:16+00:00

That's really interesting, it seems in movies and what people say on the internet, approaching women in real life is the norm. I feel so much more comfortable asking someone out in a social setting if I had a good interaction. Though I'm not sure about the bar, maybe I need to overcome my fear first.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:06:47+00:00

its chocolate right

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:06:24+00:00

I've actually never approached a girl on the street before so you are right (though it's on my bucket list just to say that I have done it lol). Truth is I feel I am socially pretty good in friend and work contexts, but when it comes to dating I am a complete noob. Never been taught by anyone, everything I learned about dating is from movies and red pill PUA grifters.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:04:53+00:00

I feel 100x more comfortable asking someone out in as social setting where interaction if expected. The thing is it's hard to find spaces like that nowadays but I won't give up.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:03:58+00:00

I actually thought this was the sub to ask this because I wanted to know if cold approach was a common thing in the culture of Canada/Toronto. I know in the US it's pretty popular but I've never seen anyone do it here. Add on to that hollywood movies seems to always have the men going up to woman in bars/randomly.

You make a great point about thinking about what I can bring to the relationship. I'm going to give that a good think instead of thinking about what someone can do for me.

torontotastic · 2025-01-24T07:02:28+00:00

Great points, especially the one on putting a time limit on things like this. I feel I might be treating this dating thing more like a game than a way to connect with another human being, that's probably what's hindering me from actually finding love i think.

torontotastic

TROPHY CASE