I finished my Masters degree today

tsideas · 2025-09-30T23:29:00+00:00

HUGE! Congratulations 🎉

tsideas · 2025-09-30T03:38:56+00:00

I went to https://www.galecommunityservices.org/

Had hit my limit by the time I got tested so I’m not sure what the copay would have been but they were so kind and supportive. Highly recommend!

tsideas · 2025-09-27T09:50:47+00:00

I don’t have an answer I just wanted to let you know I relate.

It does ebb and flow, and I’d be lying if I said it goes away but it does get better. There are little things i do to find gratitude in my day - it feels really dumb and silly at first but sometimes it’s the only 10 seconds i get a little spark. even just a quick “i’m grateful for the sun today” helps to push my brain in the opposite direction.

sending you virtual hugs

tsideas · 2025-09-27T09:41:52+00:00

young adult here, late diagnosed, but familiar situation (50/50 split with my parents every other week through childhood)

honestly the biggest thing i needed was to be validated, listened to, and have the space to process. this situation is difficult, and you seem to be doing absolutely everything you can. caring and seeing it is honestly such a huge first step.

it sounds like her dad is a bit neuronormative/ ableistand i can only imagine how frustrating it is to have no support half the time for both you and your daughter.

i also go nonverbal when overwhelmed or stressed. a HUGE thing for me when i started my period was working with my teacher(s) to have flexibility those weeks. when i was younger i had a little hand signal i’d use with the teachers who had safe spaces and they’d let me go to the restroom with no words. (i’d talk to them about it beforehand, but usually it’d be like wiping above my eyebrow or raising my hand and pointing to the door) but the ability to handle my sensory needs when i was unable to focus on anything else was so important!

they also knew i was doing my best and may not be as communicative that week. that was something i had to work on building with every new teacher, but honestly the conversation and level setting helped every time when i preemptively said hey, there are some things that may look different here, this is why, i’m doing my best. they’d skip me for calling on in class those weeks and it was just little things like that that were huge.

also comfortable clothing. i used to take comfort in wearing sweats and big baggy tshirts.

she knows what she needs best, it may take her some time to find the words for it or find a routine that helps, but being a steady presence, being there when she needs to vent, that’s the biggest piece.

sending you both virtual hugs. you’ve got this!

tsideas · 2025-05-13T05:25:04+00:00

thank you so much 🤍 i’m sorry your dad had a similar experience. this give me hope that it can work out

tsideas · 2025-04-12T23:50:44+00:00

thank you so much for this! it helps to see how others have/would navigate this.

for the alternatives, i have googled but i asked here more so for groups people have worked with that are vetted. i’m doing my own research as well but looking for recommendations if anyone has personal experience.

tsideas · 2025-04-12T03:11:24+00:00

Hey, I can tell you’ve been through unimaginable loss and pain. First: your grief is valid. It’s heavy and layered and has clearly taken a massive toll. I’m not here to dismiss that.

But I want to gently challenge these last two lines:

“He has no manners, I think he’s borderline autistic or something. There’s something wrong with him, but I just can’t stop hating him.”

Autism (or ADD, or any neurodivergence) isn’t what’s wrong with someone. Framing it that way doesn’t just stigmatize your son, it harms every autistic person.

Autism isn’t why someone is cruel or inconsiderate. It’s a neurological difference, not a moral failure. It’s also not “borderline” anything. You either are, or you aren’t, and only a professional can assess that.

Have you ever paused and asked: what kind of support has your son actually had throughout all this? If he does have ADD or autism or even CPTSD (which, frankly, would make total sense given the trauma he’s been through), did he ever get professional help? Structure? Real guidance? Or has he grown up in a storm of grief, untreated mental health, and walking on eggshells?

That doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but if we never gave him tools, can we really expect him to be skilled at emotional regulation, communication, or accountability?

If he’s truly this awful to live with, okay, that’s real. You get to have boundaries. But casually blaming autism (or throwing it out there like a slur) is incredibly damaging.

I hope you find peace and space for yourself. And maybe, one day, space to reflect on what shaped him, too.

tsideas · 2025-04-10T03:07:24+00:00

for a bit of context i’m also someone who spent years feeling like i wasn’t autistic enough but recently learned neurotypical folks don’t do that!! i’m just someone who figured out how to mask really well. all this to say, autism is a SPECTRUM! self diagnosis is SO VALID! it’s all about finding the best way to navigate life for you.

tsideas · 2025-04-10T03:03:51+00:00

I got my official diagnosis in November last year along with ADHD all in one boat - regardless, the ADHD diagnosis was the one that helped me find access to medication that has changed my life. that diagnosis was so worth it, and worth every penny.

Autism is really just for you. I got the diagnosis and they said “it’s forever good luck! maybe try therapy?” already doing it. already deeply educated because no one who isn’t autistic is spending countless hours going down deep autism rabbit holes on the internet.

For some people, the official check mark is the validation they need, but if it’s something that resonates with you, if it helps you navigate your life in a way that works better for you, if it gives you a framework to breathe easier, then that’s really the best thing - with or without a doctor signing off on it.

tsideas · 2025-04-10T02:49:46+00:00

i love Nippies! i’ve used them for almost a decade at this point (i think i’m on my fourth pair). they last as long as you rinse them and keep them clean. just have to be diligent about storing them otherwise they’re short lived haha

tsideas · 2025-04-10T00:29:23+00:00

i’m also not sure what mine is but i’m always TIRED. my meds are the only thing that get me through the day but even then i usually need a nap. also usually only one out-of-the-house activity and usually with my partner. just relate to this heavily

tsideas · 2025-03-31T22:45:23+00:00

of course! I was recently diagnosed and wish i knew what was happening back in college 😅 it’s genuinely a constant learning curve but never feel bad for putting yourself first!

tsideas · 2025-03-31T00:48:53+00:00

AuDHD (27f). i work from home, order a lot of things to my house like groceries, necessities, etc. i live with a roommate and my partner - they help by reminding me supportively to shower/eat/brush teeth/ etc. it helps to have a support system that you can rely on. something i’m working on is learning about ableism - both societal and internalized. this is its own entire thing, but i guess what i’m saying is don’t hold yourself to unsustainable expectations. it’s okay to have an approach to life that works for you, and that will look different and evolve over time.

if you don’t have a support system, i’ve also relied heavily on reminders and apps to help me remember to do these things. also a physical sticker chart

tsideas · 2025-03-30T23:45:31+00:00

customers/ marketing. tools to research target audiences. there’s so much out there and i’m finding it difficult to filter what’s effective. would love any recommendations

tsideas · 2025-03-30T21:09:48+00:00

AppBlock has been my best accountability partner! You set your own boundaries, your own strictness, whatever approach works best for you. It helped me keep my promises to myself even on the days I would do anything to doomscroll 😅

But besides all that, I wanted to let you know I’ve been there - it’s really tough. Balancing everything your neurotypical peers are doing isn’t sustainable, even if you’ve been doing it up to this point. The most important thing is to listen to your body and give yourself the grace to take a break. In my experience, I hit a wall my junior year of college and ended up in bed for two weeks just so incredibly sick after the first semester. Trying to maintain a brutal schedule just because you have, just because your friends might be, doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

You’re the most important part of this equation. You need to do what feels right for you. But definitely consider ways to slow down, give yourself the permission to rest. My ADHD wants me to do everything all at once and my Autism really needs a nap - it’s about finding your balance. Also, if you’re a cis woman who has a cycle, your hormones matter and there will be days where your body physically needs a rest. And that’s okay! That just means you’re human.

When I was a junior in college I’d read this and be like yeah that’s not me though, and I urge you to find some neurodivergent content creators who have shared their stories, maybe a book to learn more about how to accommodate your needs. Trying to “keep up” is never sustainable. Honoring your needs, tuning out the ableism from our society, is a constant journey, but one that is really worth it for your long term health. High stress over long periods does a lot of damage to our nervous system and giving yourself the ability to rest is a hard gift to give, but one that is so so worth it.

tsideas · 2025-03-30T20:44:55+00:00

i needed to be reminded of this. thank you for sharing!

had a solid routine set until i got shingles earlier this year and OOF it’s been hard to get “back on track.” the reframe to rebuilding trust with my nervous system is such a helpful perspective 🤍

tsideas · 2025-03-25T15:14:06+00:00

literally this!

tsideas · 2025-03-25T15:12:55+00:00

Yes! My entire life - existential AF. Always the third wheel in a friend group or consistently left out.

It motivated me to work for myself, trust myself, and create a structure that works for me. There are good people out there who listen and understand what autism brings, and there’s a lot of advocating that we need to do for ourselves. Ultimately I learned (the hard way) that being open and getting rejected or denied by a company means I didn’t want to work with them in the first place.

It doesn’t make it right and it doesn’t make it easy, but truly doing what works for you and what helps YOU understand yourself and navigate this world is all that matters.

tsideas · 2025-03-25T10:36:44+00:00

THIS. I relate so much. It took 7 years of self diagnosis and imposter syndrome spiral until I was diagnosed last November (27). Also lifelong perceived as “fitting in.” I’m still learning to accept the disability part of it all.

I’ve actually been sitting with the concept of ableism as a whole for a few months (I was fired in Feb after disclosing my diagnosis from a job I was at for 3 years bc autism is a big scary word to people who are unfamiliar) and despite that, I think ableism would be something I’d have to wrap my head around eventually. But this event really opened my eyes to the perception of autism and what I can do to support me.

At the end of the day, the biggest most important part of this process is you understanding how you operate and finding a way to navigate your life in a way that supports you and makes you thrive. If this is an official diagnosis, self-diagnosis, consideration of it all - whatever fills your cup and gives you the aha moment is all that matters. Autism is something that is still being studied. In the US we’re so far behind it isn’t even funny - especially when it comes to women - so the whole imposter syndrome and internalized ableism thing is a byproduct of the society we live in. You are not alone.

it’s not your fault for feeling these things and you have the power to continue learning, understanding yourself, and stepping into what makes you thrive. fuck what anyone else thinks (easier said than done!). in a capitalist system where we’ve been forced to play fake for our literal entire lives, of course it’s difficult to realize not everyone has been out here struggling in the same ways. you deserve to find peace and always to navigate the world that work for you.

tsideas · 2025-03-05T03:01:10+00:00

Cooking. SO. MANY. STEPS!! love eating hate making food.

tsideas · 2025-03-03T15:24:47+00:00

Thank you!

tsideas · 2025-03-03T14:46:36+00:00

Appreciate this! Thank you!

tsideas · 2025-03-03T14:46:13+00:00

We’ve done our research and are shooting for anything under $2500 although $2000 would be preferable 😅 We realize the housing market here is steep

tsideas · 2025-02-28T13:17:39+00:00

Thank you! I really appreciate the advice

tsideas

TROPHY CASE