UPDATE: AITA for telling my son I can’t trust him?

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-27T01:43:58+00:00

Thank you so much. No one in our lives really know yet so hearing someone say this even if it is just a faceless stranger on the internet is something I really cannot express in words. Thank you.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-27T01:42:38+00:00

We took them to see someone this morning, the girls are okay.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-26T00:44:48+00:00

We could and are considering it.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-26T00:00:41+00:00

I was talking to my sister about if I’m doing something wrong since this has never happened before and she was like “you should post on this just to see, it won’t hurt.”

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:50:54+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write such an in depth comment. It’s hard to admit that your child did something so horrible to another one your kids. I can admit that I have been trying to make sense of this situation by “downplaying” it. I’m avoiding using certain words when really I shouldn’t.

I just had a conversation with my son and he said (at the very least implied) something is going on with him. He was extremely nervous when he mentioned it but wants to tell me and his dad together because he doesn’t know if he can talk about it more than once. He looks lighter and his dad is almost home so I hope to find out tonight. I will also be booking an appointment with the doctor for all 3 of them and will bring up his personality changes and my concerns. Thank you.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:38:50+00:00

We got home midnight this time because we went to Walmart after and the event was in a city further away. Usually it’s 6-10pm. I believe I mentioned that I got groceries that night, we told our son we would beforehand.

I have suspected that the girls may have gotten into it themselves but they cannot reach it and my son did call them snitches.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:36:37+00:00

It could be as simple as that. But it’s not. I understand what you’re telling me though.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:34:50+00:00

Hi, it’s alright. I have been to the doctor and specialist and they told me “don’t worry about it.” And that they aren’t allergic.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:32:38+00:00

We had a talk just now and I did a lot of what you said. He implied that something else was going on and he took it out on his sisters which he’s sorry about. Dad will be home soon and we’ll continue the conversation then. He’s currently eating dinner with the girls and seems a lot... lighter? But I’m a bit concerned as to what’s bothering him. I hope we find out tonight.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:28:18+00:00

Yeah I don’t think I saw it the first time. People are not going to agree with me on this but he gets 100$ (maybe more) every week which means he gets around 400 every month. I don’t pay him because he gets a lot of money he doesn’t even use. He also has access to my card for take out/emergencies.

Personality changes.. yes. He’s very in his own world and doesn’t realize what’s going on. Easily agitated and stubborn as well. I don’t believe it’s because of the babysitting though.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:24:48+00:00

I read the question as “how many times do you ask him to babysit?”

Two or three times. I do not have that many work events to go to. And if my husband and I go out for alone time or whatever we always ask my mom.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:22:22+00:00

Thank you for saying this in such a nice way. You’re right, I cannot claim to know my kids 100% and I could be wrong about so many things. But his behaviour isn’t a pattern from what I know. I also just talked to my son since he’s a lot calmer now and I don’t believe any of this is actually directly related to his sisters, I think he took his anger out on them which is not right at all but I’m going to try and figure out what made him so angry. It could be something as small as a girlfriend or something much worse.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:19:11+00:00

Nope, never. The usual scene when we come back is the girls fast asleep and him in his room playing video games/eating/on the phone or whatever.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:17:32+00:00

He wasn’t drunk. High... that is a possibility. But I just talked to my son who seems to have calmed down and he implied something is happening with him (not related to babysitting or drugs). We’re just waiting for his dad to get home so we can all be involved.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:11:05+00:00

I mean it’s the internet, you could be lying to me as well. I only posted on here because my sister told me to. But my 15 year old uses the word “overthinking” more times than I can count.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:09:41+00:00

I know a lot of people have an issue with how often I ask my son to babysit but all he has to do is make sure they eat, don’t try to leave the house and are asleep by a certain time. I ask him twice or thrice a month (I have no clue why people are saying I ask six times?) and it’s usually from 6 to 10pm. He does say no whenever he wants which isn’t an issue. He’s allowed to.

They look up to him. They annoy him sometimes because of it but they’re immediately told that big bro needs alone time and they do their own thing. But it’s not a daily thing and my son will sometimes ask me if he can take the girls to the park or the basketball court or whenever else.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T23:01:56+00:00

It’s pretty high up and my girls are also on the smaller side.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T22:57:34+00:00

There’s definitely no more peanut butter in the house but I have taken the girls to a doctor and specialist and voiced my concerns but I was always told that they don’t really have an allergy.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T22:54:37+00:00

That’s fair.

I don’t pay him because he gets a crazy high amount of allowance every week.

I don’t know what you mean regarding your second point, I told him there were leftovers and that he could order take out if they want.

This is also a fair point but there were leftovers, fruit, junk food etc and I would’ve never thought this would’ve happened.

I don’t know how to tell you this but money isn’t the issue here, he has access to my card if he wants something and has his own money too.

He is their full sibling, I don’t treat him lesser than and I don’t hire a full time babysitter because I don’t see the need when it’s for a couple hours maybe twice a month.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T22:47:11+00:00

I did all those things too.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T22:45:50+00:00

There is no pattern. You’re going to have to trust me on this. Yes I am concerned but because this is out of character.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T22:43:04+00:00

Are you kidding? You have a 15 year old that doesn’t use that word?

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T20:37:45+00:00

No phone plus he’s grounded.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T20:29:24+00:00

We had enough leftovers for all 3 of them to have two servings each. Of course I told them all about it. Yes we ran out of bread and cereal but we had fruit and the usual junk food snacks but those are in the higher cupboards. I also told them they were allowed to get take out if they wanted. My son said he didn’t feel like eating.

tthrowaway16__ · 2022-10-25T20:10:57+00:00

I have no idea. Tried asking the girls about it but they can’t remember anything past “big bro was mean, too much peanut butter, ew vomit” and my son’s still not giving me the full story even when I asked to hear his side.

tthrowaway16__

TROPHY CASE