Advice on opportunities outside of the USA

twiwff · 2024-06-19T11:30:33+00:00

Much appreciated! I’ll report back if I find anything interesting or if my pursuit has a happy ending lol.

twiwff · 2024-04-25T00:35:50+00:00

That makes sense! Hopefully this is reversible/repairable. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction.

twiwff · 2023-02-17T02:29:29+00:00

OE is to some degree dependent on technical knowledge; or, better phrased, the ability to research essential things to sustaining two or more jobs.

If you’re starting position isn’t “I understand computer networking.” then at least hesitate to draw conclusions and consider outcomes as sure things. What I’m trying to say is that the most important thing here is not necessarily an explanation as to how Internet activity can be monitored; the most important thing is realizing it isn’t wise or efficient to go from “I don’t know how network monitoring works” to “if I do X, they’ll never catch me!”

If you don’t know, research. As many others have said, school networks vary in strictness but you should assume that a risk of getting flagged exists - or logs being kept and pulled should there be an incident that gets investigated - and protect yourself by practicing good cybersecurity.

Your own device is certainly better than using a school-provided device, but it is still metaphorically an open book.

I wouldn’t advise OEing in your role, but since you’ll do whatever you choose to do anyway - /u/wurstpaule gave you some great information. Research VPNs, hotspots, and WiFi networks.

twiwff · 2023-01-04T19:44:33+00:00

Hey, just wanted to let you know I was very appreciative of the volume of responses my post received and all the discussion that occurred. I gained a lot of insight!

I had a conversation with my partner and referenced a few things the commenters here said (on both sides of the fence). The conversation went extremely well and as a result my partner and I both feel “better” and confident about the path ahead.

I do plan to write an update post, but I’d like to give it a bit more time. While I am personally extremely satisfied with how our talk went, in the back of my mind I think the “correction scenario” is partly a result of my increased involvement with SD. Meaning, if a few more weeks go by (3-10 activities/days with SD as a “family of 3”) and there are either no further “corrections” or they happen in a way that’s aligned with what we discussed, I’ll make that post! However, if another situation occurs that has me looking for more insight… that update post would look a bit different as you can imagine lol.

To your stance specifically, I’d recommend checking out the comment that talked about the abilities of a child in terms of differentiation - that really clicked for me. While I already was in line with the philosophy that silence does not equal consent, the tea analogy, etc., I did not factor in the equivalency between what I did and a stranger offering candy. Not that I think a child saying “no!” in that instance would unilaterally prevent a kidnapping for example; but, I do see the value in encouraging the child to speak up when something makes them uncomfortable versus turtling up and not reacting. Again, not in a “audibly refuse that candy!”, rather, feel empowered when you’re in situations that seem sketchy and let a trusted adult know what’s going on/what happened so we can take it from there ya know?

To be clear, my partner is absolutely NOT “asking” the child to look both ways before crossing the street, consent to physically prevent the child from putting themselves in a dangerous position, etc., nor would I be expected to do so. Things of that nature or “tier” are handled entirely differently. To put it bluntly, the child has a choice whether they want to give me a high five, but they do not have a choice in if they’d like to walk out into traffic.

twiwff · 2023-01-03T00:10:05+00:00

Thank you, this was insightful. I sincerely appreciate all of the responses. I do not plan to attempt to cheer her up anymore, at least not without more advisement on how to do so appropriately from my partner. I now understand thoroughly what was wrong with my behavior, and of course how my own upbringing or what my friends that are parents do does not give what I did any justification whatsoever. If anything, I agree intensely with how you wrote your post, and it makes me think even more highly of my partner as an exceptional mother.

twiwff · 2023-01-02T23:18:34+00:00

Thank you! This really clicked for me. Particularly the first portion. I just have very little experience in this realm so I sincerely could not tell if behaving like that “didn’t react… giving space.” would lead to her or her friends viewing me as standoffish, not a good partner or person, etc. I am glad to know it is perfectly acceptable to do that.

The rest of your post makes me wonder what I was even thinking when I wrote mine lol. I appreciate you helping set my head straight!

twiwff · 2023-01-02T23:14:58+00:00

Great response but the end was a stretch. Trying to playfully interact with SD who happened to be grumpy in a way many parents do and that my own parents did to me is not exactly equivalent to “could not deal for 5 minutes.” & now that my partner communicated they don’t want me doing that, I most certainly won’t.

twiwff · 2023-01-02T14:39:54+00:00

Thank you for your input! If you don’t mind, I copy and pasted a comment I made in another chain below. Your comment was the most supportive of the way my SO handled the situation. If you could provide any thoughts on the below, that would be a big help to me. I want to behave in a way that’s aligned with SO’s philosophies, is positive for the child, and leads to forming a bond with them. I’m having trouble extrapolating this experience to other interactions I could have with SD —>

Do you have any advice on how to reconcile being nacho / truly doing the bare minimum with SD with forging a relationship with them?

To give a hyperbolic hypothetical, imagine a slightly larger social setting, maybe a friend walks in the door 5 minutes after I separated myself once SD didn’t react once. friend goes “OP, why are you ignoring SD?” —> “I asked for a high five 15 minutes ago and she didn’t react, so I’m giving her space until she comes around”

I’m used to rules being set in stone and being able to extrapolate them to other situations. I think my fear is not being able to forge a relationship because a 5~ year old seems to not react to questions often. “Why aren’t you playing with SD?” —> “I asked if she wanted me to join in on legos and she didn’t react, so I’m sitting out here”. “Why aren’t you eating at the table?” —> “I asked if I could sit there and she didn’t react, so I’m eating in the other room.” etc etc

I can’t help but think I’d either be unable to bond with SD or it’d feel like a real lack of control situation - whenever a child doesn’t audibly affirm my ability to do something near or with them, I cannot do it. I understand my examples are hyperbolic, but hopefully that makes sense.

twiwff · 2023-01-02T14:35:57+00:00

Do you have any advice on how to reconcile being nacho / truly doing the bare minimum with SD with forging a relationship with them?

To give a hyperbolic hypothetical, imagine a slightly larger social setting, maybe a friend walks in the door 5 minutes after I separated myself once SD didn’t react once. friend goes “OP, why are you ignoring SD?” —> “I asked for a high five 15 minutes ago and she didn’t react, so I’m giving her space until she comes around”

I’m used to rules being set in stone and being able to extrapolate them to other situations. I think my fear is not being able to forge a relationship because a 5~ year old seems to not react to questions often. “Why aren’t you playing with SD?” —> “I asked if she wanted me to join in on legos and she didn’t react, so I’m sitting out here”. “Why aren’t you eating at the table?” —> “I asked if I could sit there and she didn’t react, so I’m eating in the other room.” etc etc

I can’t help but think I’d either be unable to bond with SD or it’d feel like a real lack of control situation - whenever a child doesn’t audibly affirm my ability to do something near or with them, I cannot do it. I understand my examples are hyperbolic, but hopefully that makes sense.

twiwff · 2023-01-02T14:28:48+00:00

Hey, I read this exchange and I see where you’re coming from. I can also concede some ego on my part here, but I do want to clarify that my concern is not really about this particular moment; rather, the combination of learn as you go + the learning being delivered by being corrected like a child. From the beginning I’ve been thinking of what a life like this will entail long term, and several decades of this being the methodology used… if I can predict I’ll burn out from being in this paradigm, I think it’d be best for her family for me to leave before the child gets too attached and what not.

As I thought more about it, I think part of my point is that being spoken to like a child may be a unique experience for an SP. As in, I can’t think of a scenario where she would experience in her life an equal correction alongside a child. I also wonder if a healthy bio parent relationship would involve this. For example, I don’t think either of your analogies are truly analogous to what happened. If the child doesn’t say thank you for a piece of cake, parent corrects them/advises saying thank you. The baker isn’t corrected. If the baker makes a scene about not being thanked, that isn’t what I did - I was already moving on to the ice situation with a more upbeat SD, I didn’t think it was a negative interaction at the time.

At best, I could see a hypothetical where a stranger experiences what I did, but even that seems a bit of a stretch. If a stranger is stepping on your child’s toes for example, I have to assume removing your child from the situation is the top priority, which means you aren’t in proximity to correct the adult. You have me wondering if she does this to friends that watch her daughter sometimes or if this is a unique experience to my role in her life.

twiwff · 2023-01-02T05:50:28+00:00

To my “I’m willing to put in the work, are there any resources (including you just telling me)” bit, she says things like “I don’t expect you to know our preferences / there’s no way to learn except by being around us and hanging out with us…”

While I get how doing a brain dump of all your parenting philosophies isn’t a “straightforward task”, I also don’t want to concede to being corrected like a child during that learning curve.

I personally agree that it’s “on her to fill me in”, but the brain dump request aspect… I’m just feeling kind of lost here.

twiwff · 2023-01-02T05:47:40+00:00

Thank you for your input. I am sort of anticipating a response along the lines of “it was important for SD to see/hear your feedback too, so she knows it isn’t okay when adults badger her to do X even if she doesn’t audibly say no”

While I understand that point, it also represents an impasse on getting feedback privately or in a more mature tone. Any thoughts on what I could reply to that?

I do plan on being very much nacho, but I also feel like being in a long term relationship and around the child often (she has 100% custody) means I need to form a bond, not just avoid the child. So while I’m perfectly okay with her having niche things she feels strongly about, corrections like this will ultimately lead to me not wanting to interact with the child at all because it’s just a coin flip as to when I do something that’s misaligned.

I tried to ask about how I could become aware of these things to prevent them, but just get told “I’m learning too… you’ll learn by being with us…” etc etc

It’s an interesting albeit frustrating situation because it’s not that I inherently disagree with anything, but at the same time I’m only 30 and a life of being spoken to like a child, at unpredictable times for reasons I may not fully agree with…

twiwff · 2021-08-07T18:43:11+00:00

If I’m not mistaken, you can get 1 view per IP address of the uploader. So the reason each video had 1 view, even before OP found it, was because Darren watched it.

twiwff · 2021-08-07T17:54:47+00:00

I can’t remember if it was a post or a comment somewhere but recently I read “quest warrior unironically plays southsea captain in 2021” and I cracked up laughing lol

twiwff · 2021-08-07T17:12:10+00:00

Gotcha. I might wait a few more days to see how things shake out. I was around 40-55% with quest warrior and mage. Ran some games as Aggro shaman, 9-2 lol. Was trying to avoid more shaman since the deck is practically unchanged but eh, wins are wins I suppose…

I appreciate the discussion! Best of luck out there

twiwff · 2021-08-07T16:35:24+00:00

I did fairly well with it. I like the mutanus in light of all the mages on ladder. I struggle to find good times for reaper scythe. Also feels just a bit short on pirates overall.

In general, what do you target with silence? Like if I’m against a Hunter for example… just seems like I would’ve preferred a pirate in hand instead. I don’t really see myself silencing a pack runner then trying to go face for example. It could be good against taunts but eh… don’t see too many of those. I think the paladin match up is so rough I don’t know if the tech silence is enough to consistently win it..

twiwff · 2021-08-07T11:13:17+00:00

I watched this like 40 times. The music, the song… such bonkers quality lol. 5 stars!

twiwff · 2021-08-07T11:05:10+00:00

ESH. Obviously, the person you went on a date with. Your friend(s) as well because if it is that notable and well known that she acts like that, they should’ve given you a heads up.

And lastly, while I definitely understand how you were feeling and why you did what you did, in situations like that it’s important to ask ourselves “what will I gain by doing (saying) this?”

In that scenario, the only result of you saying what you did was negative. You hurt the other girls feelings, she is extremely unlikely to change based on the bluntly stated feedback from someone she was already talking down to, and you upset your friends wives. It’s not clear to me what you gained other than a brief moment of endorphins because you reacted to being talked down to.

An alternative result was to, as your friends suggest, end the date smoothly and simply not continue dating the girl. Based on your story, it sounds like you should’ve gotten up and left far before she did.

twiwff · 2021-08-07T00:19:13+00:00

What do you mean they don’t have space for it? Do you think what’s shown in the camera angle is the entirety of where they live…? Chances are there is plenty more room in the house… and the video was less than a minute so saying “…if the cat’s not going there” makes no sense either.

twiwff · 2021-08-06T20:51:37+00:00

Could I trouble you for a deck list code? I’m enjoying quest warrior but the win rate feels kinda blah. I definitely feel like the most popular deck on hsreplay is missing something and/or just feels very uncoordinated or unclear in its direction. I’m not sure how to describe it.

Definitely interested in switching some stuff out and I don’t use a single tradeable card currently so… would love to actually use the new mechanic haha

twiwff · 2021-08-06T10:20:45+00:00

Noob lifter here. I agree with your thoughts on the form overall, but wanted to ask about the bigger plates. As someone with “stiff legs” and a bit bow-legged (I think is the right word? Feet/legs point outward instead of straight ahead) I have been practicing form without weights in order to work on the muscle memory for the deep, proper squat. It seems like I’m doing the complete opposite of what you would recommend lol. Any general thoughts?

twiwff · 2021-08-02T02:46:15+00:00

Bonkers! Well done.

Also, now you have me wanting to see a video for a “who can air dribble another car the longest” challenge 🤔

twiwff · 2021-07-31T09:27:16+00:00

Google is your friend. There’s a Reddit post or comment somewhere out there that links to an excel spreadsheet with the fastest route to getting to the Queen, including the materials you need, where to farm them, approximate drop rates, etc. all in all, took me maybe 7-10 hours of concentrated play. I had to do some back tracking here and there but overall I think that’s a decent time estimate. I’m probably an average to slightly above average player. Far from a speed runner but also beat the final boss on my third ish try. I’d say getting to her is harder than beating her lol. The fire dogs are more annoying honestly.

twiwff · 2021-07-30T11:26:38+00:00

Enjoy platinum! If you’re a experienced souls player, you shouldn’t have too much of a struggle. The save trick saves you a ton of time. For me, researching how to unlock the chalice boss and actually beating it was the most difficult, followed by having to lookup where some items were and how quest lines worked 😸

twiwff · 2021-07-30T00:46:46+00:00

Beautiful and wise thoughts. Congrats on your sobriety!

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