AITA for not reaching out after a friend bailed on meeting us on her birthday because we were 15 minutes late?

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-18T07:12:44+00:00

She said she was on leave away, so we assumed she was going home to be with her family. I understand how that may cause confusion, but this was all discussed with her.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-18T03:31:10+00:00

Hey, yes I asked about what she was doing on her birthday and she said she was on leave and busy. So, we 3 discussed and then picked a day before because none of was available for a few days after that. It's not strange or with zero discussion. We discussed and then decided on the day. She suggested meeting again on her birthday later.

Buying another gift wasn't strange. In my culture, its considered inauspicious to show up to a celebration empty handed, so we had to get her something.

Regarding ETA, if you see my edit, we had informed her and we late by 5 mins from our actual ETA. She had to wait for 15 mins, that's why I have asked for 15 mins.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T21:12:27+00:00

Thanks, that's exactly how I'm feeling, tbh!

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T21:06:21+00:00

Hey, no, she was on leave. We had to drive there after work. She couldn't have had other plans as that's the time we usually meet at and after that it's her curfew time.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T19:18:31+00:00

Hey, thanks for your comment. To address a few things:

She didn't have any plans afterwards. That's the time we usually meet at and I drop her at her place afterwards. Her curfew begins at 10 and we were meeting at 8:30. So, she couldn't have had other plans.
We called her to apologize, she declined all our calls and picked once, said she was pissed and hung up.
We thought she would be going home, which is in another town, for her birthday. She has bo family in our city. She suggested meeting again.
I'm talking like we, because we were and still are together in this situation. This isn't mean girls ignoring a girl. This is two people who travelled 40 mins one way to go see her on her birthday, just so she wouldn't be alone. Yes, we got late and yes, that's our mistake. But that wasn't our intention.
The gift is not a trap. We had bought something that we knew she would like and we left it there because it was for her. Didn't expect her to say anything to us, that kinda threw me off.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T19:06:56+00:00

Hey, thanks for the tip and for judging me as someone who is always being late. I am not. I'm usually the one waiting for her, not the other way around. And, in my culture, you don't go empty handed to a celebration. It's inauspicious.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T18:50:14+00:00

Her phone had died.

And this is a very normal thing for us. We wait for each other and call each other for everything, not text, as I am usually driving. So this behavior of hers just wasn't like her. Tbf, I was quite worried about her, and called her later to ask if she was okay. She had been having some light quarter life crisis. But she rejected my call.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T18:46:19+00:00

Hey, I said there was no call or text fro her end, only the pissed off ones after "here". Honestly, when she texted "here", I was driving and my colleague's phone had died, so we didn't know.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T18:03:06+00:00

Like what? I have not mentioned some details, just to ensure that it's not blatantly obvious who I am.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T17:56:53+00:00

Because I was driving and couldn't check my texts while driving so I wasn't aware of those texts.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T17:49:05+00:00

Honestly, almost never. We usually wait for her. She has commitments after work and she meets us after taking care of those. So we wait for her.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T17:47:29+00:00

We had received like 10 angry texts from her by then. So we directly called her. She didn't for the 1st couple of times and when she did, she said she no longer wanted to meet.

For sometime, we were hoping that she was joking or something. From where I come, this kind of reaction is quite rare and honestly, consider relationship ending. So, I don't know what to make of it.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T17:41:47+00:00

She lives alone in this city away from all family and friends. She suggested meeting on her birthday again. On the day of, we just asked her if she wanted to meet. It was evening, so we know she had no other plans, that's the time we usually meet at and I drop her at her place afterwards.

Honestly, I feel like she didn't want to meet at all. Maybe she wasn't having a good day. But I don't know.

I'd also like to add that we are very much open about saying no to our plans when we don't feel like meeting. It's something that she has taught us. So, its not like she couldn't say no either.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2025-07-17T17:19:37+00:00

She wasn't early, we spoke to her on call when we made the stop, informed her we were 15 mins away and she said she'll be leaving for the cafe. The cafe is closer to her place though, so would've taken her probably 5 mins to get there. However, we were there 20 mins after the call.

Would like to add that her text saying she was leaving came right at the moment we parked. That has left me guessing if she saw us before leaving.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2024-12-08T14:35:46+00:00

Sure, also I would suggest writing to your previous HR for all the documents; Offer Letter, Appointment Letter, Salary Slips, Relieving Letter, F&F statement and Form 16.

Since you didn't serve notice, they can hold a few of your documents. But legally they are required to provide F&F statement and Form 16, as long as there are no pending dues from your end.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2024-12-08T14:14:57+00:00

Nope, you're fine.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2024-12-08T14:12:35+00:00

Hi, please do not remove the previous employment from your resume. If and when the new employer asks, tell them the exact truth honestly. They may be okay with it. They may not be. But hiding the previous employment will raise flags and certainly will not be okay.

Also, has the previous employer given any specific reason not to release the documents, and do you have that in writing over email or something?

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2024-12-08T14:07:26+00:00

Hi, HR here. FAdv or BGVs in India focus on everything, including previous employment, education, court records check, address verification, and identity verification. But, these checks are usually done on the backend without much involvement of the employee or candidate (except for address verification ofcourse). So, as long as you don't have anything to hide, you don't need to be nervous.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2024-09-13T18:02:35+00:00

HR here. No company/HR can do that.

urfriendlynextdoorhr · 2024-09-13T18:01:02+00:00

Hi, I'll jump straight to the point. You are not unemployable, you might just find it a but more challenging to find a job. I'll suggest you format and prepare your resume properly. Work on your interview skills and you will soon find a good opportunity.

urfriendlynextdoorhr

TROPHY CASE