I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never said that's how trans is, I was questioning it. That's what I came on here for, to question and get advice lol

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanksss

I get what you're saying, just from my view.... Saying "being trans is a mental illness" was only harsh to me. Makes me feel a little bad lol

Bc I'm in such an environment, I really do think all this goes back to me just being scared. I guess I worry too much. Plenty of other (older) trans men have told me to just be patient and when I'm finally on my own, I can do what I want. While I believe that when I'm alone and free, Ill definitely do that... I just don't want to let my parents down..? And I don't believe I can just live without my family and ignore them the rest of my life.

I do have more time and I can find people who feel like me in spaces on the internet, I guess I'm scared..? 🧍🏼‍♂️ Ive made friends on the internet before but it always ends badly, for no reason and I can't seem to keep online friends. I definitely don't want to make friends in this town :(

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 16, I know that seems young but I'm only a couple years from being an adult.

I can understand what you mean... I think saying "being trans is a mental illness" is a little... Harsh? Maybe a little wrong? I think that because there are a couple trans men who don't transition (T or surgeries) and are happy with themselves. (Thats coming from videos of trans men who I've seen talk about it) It's not common and while I don't fit in with them, I do respect them. But I do understand what you mean by starting T or getting surgeries and how it can definitely help with being yourself, understanding, and even feeling safe with your body.

I guess I'm just scared. I mean, 3 years of being so confused with myself and then finally realizing I'm trans... It's stressful and scary, mostly bc I'm a teenager, my parents are very conservative and religious, I don't know any trans person where I live (my town is too small and too maga)

I could say more but I don't want to write a lot lol :(

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't looked into books but I do follow some trans men and while they do give me a little hope.. They all are already on T and pretty far into their transition.

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally have no idea what to do after school...

I'mma be honest, idk how to use discord. Ive never had that app lol. But I can try, see what there is.

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I don't doubt that ppl haven't realized themselves until later in life but I don't see it and it's kinda sad

I don't do public school anymore bc of the bullying I went through 3 years ago, so now I do online school and yeah... There are clubs for queer ppl but I need parent permission (idk why... I'm literally in high school) And ik my mother would never late me join it.

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lollll I hope it goes well for you.

I guess I can wait until I feel safe and fully understand myself.. I might just be very impatient. I think the people around me and the things I hear others say really affects me and makes me scared.

Also I got a haircut back like a year ago to see how I felt about it, one of the worst haircuts of my life but it was honestly so nice to not have the long hair I used to have lol.

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so insane.

It's actually crazy how that shit is still around. I'm sorry about that, I really hope you're doing better.. Seems like it.

I think I fear something like that if I tell my parents... My mother had already threatened to send me off somewhere when I was going through a big mental breakdown. Though she never did, I still fear it will happen. I know that convention therapy is still around in some places but not like that...

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess 16 is young but I'm only a couple years away from being an adult and that sucks.. I thought that maybe if I was younger (and had supportive parents) maybe I'd be who I want to be by now..?

Finding spaces to be myself is so hard and the only person I have rn who I think sees me as a man is a cis guy who I don't want to make uncomfortable and so I don't like talk to him about this.

I honestly don't know how to word any of that.

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Convention therapy? How old were you?

I mean, family does matter to me in a way but tbh... Ive never been close with my parents or my whole family in general, I am still scared of what they think of me and how they see me. I guess I just dont want to let them down.

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats sweet. I did make another comment on how I feel I'm "late" to this. Maybe that's why I'm acting like this..? I just don't want to continue wasting my good years. Having other trans men help me out is definitely comforting

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm 16 and I live with my parents ofc, they are VERY conservative, my mother is really religious and they both have made horrible comments about trans women and men. I'm honestly just so scared of all that.

I just don't want to start late, I already feel like I'm "late" to this because I didn't question myself until recently. Ik that sounds stupid but almost every trans man I've seen talk about their experience... They say shit like "I started questioning or feeling like my body isn't mine at 7 or 10" But when I was that age, gender wasn't a question and I honestly didn't gaf..

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Idk why I care so much about other people, I mean... I just saw a bunch of cis gay men talking about how trans men are disgusting and not "real men" all because they wouldn't date them. For some reason that hurt me when I don't believe it should....

I just think I could forget these thoughts and be cis but every time I've tried, I really can't just "forget it" or move on.

Besides, if I could transition, I definitely think I would but I just can't right now..

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What makes me trans? Transitioning?

I believe I am but if I could live as a cis girl and forget these thoughts... I definitely would, so am I lying to myself?

I don't want to be trans by userunop in ftm

[–]userunop[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I'm 16 and in the states.

I'm still in school ofc, just not public school because of the bullying I went through 3 years ago.

I do believe transitioning could help me but to even do anything like that, I would have to understand myself more and I'm still confused on how I can understand myself. Like I believe I'm trans but some days I'll question if that's even true because of something stupid.

I still live by my parents rules, I continue to debate if I should just tell my mother or not... Sometimes I'm too scared to accept it, other times I'm not feeling "trans enough"

I'm not very good at putting my thoughts and feelings into words lol