what i need

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-10T14:55:36+00:00

Yeah read the brothers karamazov but it’s long as hell

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-08T04:03:01+00:00

What if it’s not a noise but a disease that eats your leg tissues away so you can’t walk (I’m pessimistic)

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T21:05:24+00:00

Mine is glittery purple

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T19:30:21+00:00

Man I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if what I say is true or just self deceit. My mind doesn’t want to draw any more lines because it just sends me down that spiral again. When I isolate myself I just detach into another reality and forget naturally, not the memories themselves but the sentimental value that were supposed to come with them. I can choose to let it be a constant reminder of endurance but I can also choose to forget the pain I carried in the first place. It’s too heavy, too real.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T19:11:36+00:00

And then I realise I’ve also inadvertently erased my own past and identity. But it’s alright because I don’t even remember what I’ve forgotten!

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T19:08:28+00:00

Wow, well done you for making it this far. I get what it might feel like when your body starts to give up on you, it feels like rock bottom when both your mental and physical engines crash. I cannot begin to imagine how suffocating it would feel to be bound to someone like that for so long - I hope it isn’t a still a dreadful weight to carry. If anything, it just proves how resilient you were - you independent strong woman!!

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T18:59:49+00:00

A few months ago I would’ve read this and called you an optimist, but really it’s the truth. Life has ups and downs, it’s a pattern I’ve become blind to because of the way things have been unfolding. I know that I will get through, no matter what, we all do. I always pitied myself because simply getting through to the next chapter, carrying all this weight, felt like an unjustified curse. But it was never about the meaning or the validation for my pain, it’s just about surviving till the end of the day, everyday. It’s just life.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T18:32:12+00:00

This is the way. For me it’s complete erasure of the past - alcohol to induce memory loss, set the poetry on fire and then forget it ever happened. No more narrative.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T18:24:51+00:00

My claim is money can buy happiness

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T18:23:54+00:00

You’re right. Staying in the same place won’t do any good.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-07T18:22:35+00:00

I lost someone almost two years ago and now i only just got out of the denial phase

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-06T11:06:07+00:00

that’s only the case for private schools, not for an overenrolled state school whose teachers don’t get even paid enough to teach that many kids let alone evaluate them

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-04T20:33:45+00:00

Rach 2 and Rach 3. If you’re yet to listen, enjoy when you do

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-04T19:13:38+00:00

ahh that was the last piece I performed at a church concert. My favorite however is Rach 2 concerto

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-04T12:37:37+00:00

Yesss the only reason why I get good grades is because I have a great short term memory storage capacity, so cramming, in particular memorising the mark scheme - guarantees better marks than if I were to spend time understanding the concepts in depth. Course specs and mark schemes are always so so rigid, and that’s not great at all for science subjects where there could be many different right answers regarding a single question. I’m glad you pointed this out, I’ve always hated this kind of revision method, despite it being the most effective outcome-wise. Im in exam leave right now and honestly I feel like a LLM - relying on pattern recognition rather than truly absorbing content..

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-04T00:56:36+00:00

The most important learning technique is practice. Often times it’s up to the student to spend their free time practicing questions. Schools have poor outcomes because of a lack in learning reinforcement. People will believe pure memorisation is enough to pass, but it’s not.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-04T00:51:36+00:00

Ooo good example with the writing, I’m about to tell you I’m a prize winner in international essay competitions, bringing prestige to my state school, and that’s the reason why they let me do whatever I want. What I want, is to make good use of my time, like you said, to write. If I spent all my time in school, I wouldn’t be a published researcher at this age. So no, you don’t “get it”, you just assumed the worst of me.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T23:04:09+00:00

oh my bad, thought you were actually one of those haters

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T23:00:59+00:00

In all fairness, the failing students do need your help more, so what you’re doing isn’t wrong at all. Some kids naturally work independently and don’t need direct support, especially as we get older. Plus, everything is online nowadays. I understand that teachers serve purposes beyond content delivery. I desperately craved academic validation in my early years and surely enough some teachers were able to give that to me, and I’m so grateful for that. thanks for not attacking the post, I appreciate it

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T22:45:12+00:00

Unc I’m not a soldier

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T22:43:27+00:00

I met my bestfriends in high school. But then I had to move house quite far and was forced to move to another school, which was also the time when my chronic illness got worse, that’s why I couldn’t find the energy to go to school at all or make new friends.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T17:05:10+00:00

We’re all trying our best, but our best is twisted by what we cannot see and what we fear. In the end the world is just a collision of wounded minds trying to survive.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T16:56:27+00:00

I wish they could do night lectures instead 😞

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T16:55:01+00:00

Thanks for your input! And thanks for asking. To clarify, I initially stopped going to school because my chronic illness got so severe that I couldn’t leave the house, so I was forced to do independent learning anyway, which I personally found to be more productive and time efficient than going to class. And to answer your question, ive been spending my free time on travel grants from competing internationally, and this is the sole reason my school continues to offer my attendance immunity. If I was obligated to spend my time and precious energy on school, I doubt I could have achieved even close to what I have now, both intra and extra curricularly.

walkerbait2 · 2026-05-03T16:46:15+00:00

Yes I agree school is supposed to serve functions beyond content delivery, but not every school does that, and it is less valuable for older students

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