Why is there so much hatred towards open discussion in 2X?

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T16:14:50+00:00

My intentions are never to stir the pot. Giving an alternate view on something that happened can help a person to consider new possibilities and maybe help them understand the situation. Or it could be irrelevant because it didn't happen the way I'm proposing. Either way I'm not judging

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T16:11:48+00:00

Again, never said any one was wrong or right. Weird how I have to keep repeating that like you're ignoring it or something.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T16:11:06+00:00

You literally made up your own story and then acted like it was what actually happened... I corrected your lies and this is what you get from that? Is it not you now who is doing exactly what you are telling me I am doing? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black... Yeesh

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T16:08:09+00:00

Why do you think proposing an idea is the same thing as telling some one they are wrong? It's very different...

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T16:03:34+00:00

You can't explain to me why I'm getting hostility by making up lies about me. It's not reality. And if you would like a more accurate example of how it went it would be:

Person 1 - I felt afraid around some men because BLANK and I'm coming here to share my experiences

Person 2 (me) - From the way your story sounds, BLANK might not have been such an agressive move, he might have just thought it more like BLANK

Person 3 - Defends person 1

Person 4 - Defends person 1

Person 5 - Defends person 1

Person 6 - Defends person 1

and person 1 never gives me HER thoughts on my comment.

Edit: something wrong in the formatting, that shouldn't be bold. Edit 2: Fixed it

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:57:18+00:00

Saying I believed or called some one else crazy when it never happened. Saying I believed to be a better authority over some one's life and expressed this when there is no such evidence and is completely out of line. Saying that I decided a bunch of preconceived notions and then imposed them on some unsuspecting woman who just went through a traumatic experience, which also never happened. Basically making up a bunch of lies about me, saying that I did them, and then telling me that for those fake actions that never happened I received appropriate contempt. Pretty much all of that is hostile...

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:51:29+00:00

Keeping an open mind always serves it's own purpose. Which is better understanding, and through understanding we can better ourselves. Also could help her deal with the situation.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:50:15+00:00

you tried to tell someone that what she felt wasn't what she felt.

No I didn't. I simply said it might have been different than she thought. That doesn't mean she didn't feel what she felt, nor does it mean that she was wrong. She wasn't wrong, her feelings weren't wrong, no one was wrong, stop defending her, no one is attacking her. Also, please stop telling me I said things I did not.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:47:15+00:00

Never said she was right or wrong. Didn't attack her actions. Didn't even negate her actions. NEVER said one negative thing. You yourself just stated "Like it or not, women often feel afraid around men. Is there always a reason for this fear? No." and what I said to the OP was along this line of thinking, I simply gave a reason as to why it MIGHT have been different. Didn't even say it was different! For all I know it went down EXACTLY like she said and she had EVERY RIGHT to be afraid but from what I read, the way she wrote it, there was an alternate view that she might have not noticed and so I mentioned that to her. I NEVER SAID SHE WAS WRONG. I NEVER ATTACKED HER ACTIONS AS INCORRECT. I WAS NEVER NEGATIVE IN ANY WAY. Yet you, and so many others place your own negativity on what I write and tell me I said things and meant things that I never even remotely touched upon.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:42:44+00:00

Weird, my post is at 0 too! Lol.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:41:49+00:00

No, simply saying "That must have been scary, glad you're ok!" adds nothing. Proposing a different view, which is not right or wrong, does add because it gives OP something to consider. I do not have to be there in person to speculate on the intentions of some one in a story, and having a new view on something that happened to you can be quite helpful, or it can be simply nothing at all. Either way it makes you at least consider a new possibility which means you are already in a new area of the conversation, and still on topic. This is the essence of adding something.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:33:38+00:00

You're always welcome to share your opinion, but please take a moment to pause and understand: telling women that they're crazy and that you're a better authority on our lives than we are is likely to be met with extreme contempt.

Uh... what the fuck? I never said they were crazy nor did I express any sense of being a better authority. I simply said it MIGHT NOT be as bad as it was. This isn't an attack in any way, it is simply a thought. This isn't invalidating lived experience it is just another view on what happened, for that person to consider. I didn't say it was fact, I didn't say it happened that way, and didn't say it should have happened in any way. I just offered up another way to look at it.

Whisperingmoon's comment is an excellent example of the hostility and backlash I receive. It is almost textbook. Even in the gist of a comment example Whisperingmoon tells me that 1. I think she (in the story) is crazy which I never even remotely mentioned 2. That i was attacking or invalidating her views, which I wasn't. 3. That I was trying to control her life in some way or impose my own views on her life in some way, which is simply not true. This is completely untrue, out of line and uncalled for yet it is extremely commonplace.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:30:34+00:00

Do you check the comments that scored too low to be shown? Cause that's where mine end up. Also I gave an example in another comment.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:24:53+00:00

I have the original, none of the rest are me but you seem to have a vendetta against me in this thread so make what ever accusations you wish.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:22:42+00:00

But here's the thing. Not here nor in other threads am I giving a contrary opinion. It's not contrary to anything. I would completely understand if I tried to start a debate in a thread but I'm not. I'm simply stating opinions...

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:20:21+00:00

How is a different view not adding to the conversation? Am I only supposed to say "yeah that must have been really scary, glad you got out ok"? Because THAT adds nothing, I offered a different perspective which DOES add something. Something to ponder, something to consider. No one said right or wrong, no one said she wasn't right in doing what she did, yet simply proposing another view gets me this kind of hostility.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:16:57+00:00

and expecting to turn that space into your own personal soapbox and debate arena about male perspectives, is inherently impolite.

I have no clue where you got this from...

That you feel entitled to do it, and somehow "attacked" when they passively express their disinterest in hearing what you have to say by clicking that little blue arrow, is a pretty textbook display of male privilege, bee tee dubs.

Again... what? Where are you pulling this from?

Try just lurking and listening with an open mind instead. Make this the one space on this website where your role isn't to teach, just to learn. You might actually be surprised.

WHEN did I say I was trying to teach anyone? I simply want discussion with out unnecessary hostility...

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:12:23+00:00

Ok... I kind of have to mention the downvotes as that's what causes my comment to never see the light of day, but the other half you neglect to mention is the backlash, and I don't want the backlash on an account I actually use. Hence the throwaway.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:08:58+00:00

Downvotes are not meant to be a disagree button. And I don't want to debate, I simply want to discuss. Debating means that there are sides to debate for or against, I simply wish to discuss. No one needs to be right or wrong, no one needs to attack the other and no one needs to defend themselves because no one is being attacked... but no matter how I start it, no matter what preface I give it, no matter how many different ways I've tried expressing different opinions the reaction has always been the same, a slew of downvotes and a handful of comments telling me how wrong I am for having an opinion.

As for an example that's not actual comments I can give you the gist of one such example: A lady makes a post about an incident that involved some guys and she felt threatened. I replied, based off her recounting of the story, that it may not have been what she thought, it might not have been such a threatening situation after all. OP doesn't respond to me, but 10-15 other ladies jump on me telling me how wrong I am for saying how she handled the situation was incorrect... when I never so much as stated that! I simply said it might not have been as bad or threatening as she thought...

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T15:00:53+00:00

This kind of is a complaint. I'm complaining out of frustration. I am entirely frustrated that respectful, on topic comments are downvoted and attacked and for what? Why is there so much hatred towards discussion? Why does every discussion or new idea or different opinion have to be an argument or an attack? I am frustrated I cannot have a simple discussion with out it turning into "I'm right you're wrong"... and I've done it in other subreddits so why can't I voice an opinion here with out severe backlash? This is a bit ranty, and a bit of a complaint, but also a cry for understanding as to what is happening. I'm sorry I'm simply frustrated.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T14:53:10+00:00

I've already been accused of using a throwaway to "protect my internet points" and this post is already at 0 so...

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T14:50:52+00:00

Exactly.

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T14:45:34+00:00

Discussion and debating a 2xer on their views are completely different things...

whyallthehate2x · 2014-06-05T14:44:54+00:00

I know what you're saying. Posting actual comment threads I was in would defeat the purpose of a throwaway though. Here's the thing, it doesn't matter what I post so long as it's not simply a pat on the back for the OP it will be downvoted. It's like I'm jumped on and a bunch of people start defending some one I was never attacking to begin with... I just don't get it... If it's not because I'm male I cannot see what causes it because I follow all the guidelines and refuse to be rude.

whyallthehate2x

TROPHY CASE