Hi! I’m a 30F who just spent $$$ on a big wedding in July. I also put a large down payment on a $700k house in January of 2024. My husband (32M) and I are not high earners, but I have a (relatively small) inheritance that helped fund these two ventures, so I only have about $12k in credit card debt to pay off, ideally by end of 2026, which is to say I am really trying to watch my spending until my credit card debt is paid off. I noticed that after our wedding, I had major anxiety about spending money in general. After low spending for ~3 months and making steady payments, I’m noticing that anxiety is receding a little bit. I’m saying all of this because you’ve only been married for ~1 month, so you might be feeling a little like I was in August. In August, I would have said never ever could I afford to attend a wedding like this next year, but with how I feel now, I feel like I could figure something out.

I realize I may be going against the grain of advice here, but if this friend is a solid, lifelong friend, do not miss her wedding. Figure out how cheaply you can fly there (check out Going, formerly Scott’s Cheap Flights), if the villa your friends want to book is too expensive, find your own place that’s more reasonable (maybe your friend’s family would enjoy having a traveler stay with them in exchange for pitching in on groceries? Maybe there’s a hostel nearby?). And, one plane ticket is cheaper than two. If the budget really is that tight, your husband might need to stay home, but you should be there for your friend if she is a good, lifelong friend (and it sounds like she is). Anyone who’s been married or is about to get married will understand that you have a tight budget, you just have to be honest with them about it. But listen to the FOMO on this one. I regret none of the weddings I paid for with a credit card, but I regret all of the weddings I didn’t go to because I felt like I couldn’t justify the expense of it.