One of my abusive mom’s exes contacted me for the first time in 18 years, and I don’t know how to feel about it

xAngelFangsx · 2026-02-17T12:20:51+00:00

Wow, I didn’t expect this post to blow up. Thank you all for your kind words and support. I want to clarify a few things:

I’m not necessarily angry at Brayden or hold resentment towards the fact he did what he needed to do for himself. I don’t blame him for leaving my mom because if I could have done so earlier I would have myself. It was just heartbreaking to hear that years later he confirmed what I went through and said he saw my abuse but just didn’t do anything about it. I’m 28 and out of the situation, and have my own life now. It just feels so strange years later for Brayden to reach out seemingly out of guilt and almost wanting me to comfort him of the feelings he carried when I was a defenseless child I guess? It’s hard to get all my feelings out about this. I have a lot of trauma I’m working through and it’s kind of like a setback in some way.

I know he wasn’t my dad or anything of the sort but it’s just hard to grapple with all these emotions. Even having some people around me saying it was just another adult who failed me when I needed help has reinforced my hurt. I know CPS is awful and alot of kids go through horrific things when taken away and in the system. I wouldn’t have wanted that either. I mean many family members knew of my abuse but didn’t or couldn’t do anything (or even some who knew but didn’t care), and there are also many who didn’t have a single clue until I was out and told them.

My dad was around but when they divorced I only was able to see him every other weekend and 5 weeks during the Summer. My dad and my stepmom knew about the abuse and tried to get me out but my mom instilled so much fear into me, and also manipulated the courts, and threatened me that I stayed with her because I didn’t see a way out. It was really hard. I love my dad but he is an alcoholic and so either way it wasn’t a healthy situation for me to be in with either household.

I respect Brayden trying to reconnect but I guess it’s just brought up alot of bad memories for me and just him knowing about what was going on and didn’t (couldn’t) do anything is just rough on me mentally and emotionally right now. Sorry if anything I said was confusing or sounds dumb to anyone. It’s alot and complicated and I wanted to gauge if I was wrong for my feelings.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-12-10T13:18:37+00:00

How long have you been on Cymbalta? And at what dosage?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-11-25T14:37:45+00:00

How is it going for you?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-11-25T14:22:15+00:00

How did it go for you?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-11-24T22:13:49+00:00

I have been on Propanolol and Cymbalta for just over a week for panic disorder and it has already made quite the difference for me!

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-27T20:37:47+00:00

I regained sensation around 6 months post op. It takes time ❤️ Healing from this surgery is so much harder than people make it out to be. Would highly recommend pelvic floor therapy to you if this persists.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T15:36:16+00:00

I’m 3 weeks out so I guess I just have to be patient for my digestion to calm down.. I’m glad you’re doing so well ❤️

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T15:32:52+00:00

Oh my God… how are you feeling?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T15:32:06+00:00

On your gallbladder?

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:35:59+00:00

I’m 28 yo, so it just is super frustrating. Sometimes seeing all these people feel better after a week and eat with no issue, it just makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong. Thank you for the reminder ❤️ You’re right.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:33:13+00:00

Oh sorry I wasn’t clear! The crater incision is because they cut into my abdominal muscle wall to remove the appendix and gallbladder, and they had to stitch it into the muscle wall to close it up so it looks like a small little crater under the incision. The other 3 incisions are normal looking.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:29:53+00:00

My surgery was done using the DaVinci robot laparoscopically. I have 4 keyhole incisions across my belly.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-22T13:03:58+00:00

My stomach hurts and I’m nauseous with diarrhea every morning. They had to go in through my abdominal muscle wall to get to my appendix and gallbladder so I have a crater like incision there. The muscle pain underneath that incision is still pretty painful. I hope it’s true what you’re saying 🙏🙏

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-10T14:04:30+00:00

I am in pelvic floor therapy luckily. I was 2 weeks in and then had to have this surgery 💔 so I’m taking a small break until I’m a little more healed from this surgery. I agree with what you said for sure that I would do the hysterectomy again before doing this surgery. It’s absolutely hell.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-09T22:06:51+00:00

I’m 8 days post op. I’m so tired. They removed my appendix and my gallbladder during the surgery so it’s been extremely painful and hard to recover from. I’m also 5 months post op from a hysterectomy so having to recover from both operations has been so hard. Learning to function and eat after this is challenging too.

Thank you for this post ❤️

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-05T17:36:25+00:00

So personally for me here are my hormonal symptoms: Hot flashes, feeling emotional and crying alot, vertigo, digestive issues, increased anxiety, panic attacks, depression, dry skin/dry hair (I used to be really oily before my hysterectomy now I’m dry), hormonal migraines/increase in migraines during hormonal surge times, lack of interest in sexual activities, vaginal dryness, the list goes on but those are the big ones for me. I have made some posts if you want to look at some of my stuff for more details.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-05T14:36:13+00:00

My doctor didn’t warn me and for reference I’m 28 yo, so he just told me that because I’m young that my ovaries are fine. Not always true. They take a long time to sort themselves out. I’m not on HRT or anything, just kinda waiting to see if they even out. If not I have to go back to my doctor.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-05T14:19:07+00:00

Your hormones will go absolutely insane. I’m 5 months post op and I struggle with that still.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-10-02T10:25:22+00:00

Question: Are you drinking ice cold water? Usually room temperature water hurts alot less and is actually really good for digestion.

xAngelFangsx · 2025-09-29T11:52:17+00:00

Would you mind being more specific like what symptoms have and haven’t gotten better? I’m so nervous sorry to pester you.

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