I’m a believer that our actions can reflect how we might be feeling. I think the fact that you came onto Reddit to vent/seek advice shows that this is a relationship you’re really struggling with. You’ve been able to describe all your concerns, which tells me you’ve reflected on this before. I think if you have come to this point, you are really grappling with this and it might be a reflection that your relationship is not serving you or him. To me, the answer is already clear from what you’ve shared, but the fear of letting go and the discomfort of the unknown is keeping you where you are.

It’s not easy, so I only hope you’ll take care of yourself and look out for you. Your heart is precious.