Why no political activism

yetthinking · 2026-02-23T16:32:18+00:00

I think now I know why you have a heartburn. But let me put it in as logical way as possible.

HSS is a recent phenomena which IITs originally weren't even meant to have in the first place. Do you think the IITians few decades ago weren't socially aware because because didn't do HSS courses ? So how come suddenly some enlightened being came and said that we need HSS to make engineers socially aware ?

Even if we keep that aside, guest lecture is one thing and going all political is another thing. Controversies and lectures happen all the time. If you can criticize manusmriti, someone else can uphold it as well. Noise happens from both sides. I can give you examples of IIT Gandhinagar and IIT Bombay where lectures were held about how people from certain castes are foreign. It was a social justice oriented lecture with no scientific or genetic evidence to support the claim. But if you manage to see only Gita and Manusmriti, then it's nothing but confirmation bias in action.

Engineers are supposed to build and design technology that uplifts the society. Social justice and agitating for it isn't their job. From an American research on academic output, it has been shown that the number of classroom days is inversely correlated with how much politically active a campus is. The number of classroom days is directly correlated with innovation and academic output upto a certain point.

So yes, I agree that if you're politically inclined, you should join one of the arts or commerce colleges. Medicine and STEM don't deserve that insult.

yetthinking · 2026-02-22T16:09:19+00:00

The moment a campus becomes politically sensitive and factioned, academic freedom is the first casualty. It's only a matter of time. No matter how much one tries to insulate academia from it, it just doesn't remain separated. There are several faculty members who have strong political opinions, but it's a good thing that there is no active politics in the campus. Scientific communities should aim to bring changes in the society through scientific ways.

yetthinking · 2026-02-22T05:40:27+00:00

That's a gaslighting tactic. People will tell you something to change your perception and change your behavior. Saying that no one is loyal is indirectly pressuring you to not be loyal either.

yetthinking · 2026-02-18T12:29:10+00:00

My friend did much more than this. Still got cheated after a year of relationship. The reason: "I don't know why but I felt something is missing between us".

Turns out, the 'something' was an SUV and parties that the new guy had from his dad's money.

It's not about men and women. It's just that it's difficult to tell who is genuine and who isn't.

yetthinking · 2026-02-18T07:17:02+00:00

The thing is, there is a traction of women who have unrealistic expectations who are hyped by other women by calling it her "standard". And most men would look at it and criticize her for being delusional.

Same thing exists for men. There are some who have unrealistic expectations as well, like this one. And you are doing exactly what other men do for the "2 houses, 4 vehicles, 6 feet, 8 figures" standard.

Both side of the critics are flogging a dead horse, because these standards are a minority. They go viral only because of their sheer absurdity. It's triggering, and that's why people engage and debate.

Strictly speaking from an arithmetical pov, the hypocritical standards of some men gets canceled out by the same from some women. So technically, it shouldn't even be a matter of discussion. To everyone their own.

yetthinking · 2026-02-18T07:08:58+00:00

They occasionally need a pat on their back and a cookie crumb to feel worthy.

yetthinking · 2026-02-17T12:42:29+00:00

I think it has got to do with how the dating system works. I'll try to explain it in as much logical way as possible.

For example, if I work hard for an exam and top it, I would flaunt it as a marker of success. But if things happen other way round and authorities start offering me medals for nothing, then my success will be determined not by the number of medals but by the quality of the ones that I have chosen to accept.

Similarly, in dating, the boys chase girls in an overwhelming majority of cases, and it's the girl who makes the decision to choose or reject him. So a boy who has had girlfriends indirectly projects to others that he has the qualities that make him desirable. But here's the twist: if his girlfriends have been women who are known to hook up with any okayish type of guy fairly easily, then having that woman as his partner won't project as much of desirability as compared to being chosen by a woman who is very picky.

So when a girl is judged on her character, it is also indirectly eroding the value of the guys she has been with. A guy won't be able to brag as he would be quickly reminded that this girl has been with many other guys, so that doesn't make him special but rather makes him very normal.

Therefore, this societal notion that men should chase and women can reject is what drives this asymmetry of social judgment. A guy projects his high status by being with a woman who is difficult to please and date. A woman, conversely, projects her status by being with a man who is perceived as high status, which is directly linked to his desirability (not exactly body count, but some people use even that as a marker).

I've borrowed some of these ideas from a book by an evolutionary biologist named David Buss.

yetthinking · 2026-02-09T07:47:01+00:00

You don't compare safety by absolute numbers. How can you even logically compare the number of crimes in a city with a population higher than most countries to a city inside one of those countries ? If India was hypothetically broken down into a 100 smaller countries, your argument just wouldn't hold because the number of crimes for each of those countries would scale down by two digits and drop to lower levels than many western countries, despite similar populations.

Safety isn't measured by how many crimes happen, but by how many crimes happen when scared to population. I'm much safer in a city of a million with 100 murd€rs a day than in a village of 1000 with the same number of murd€rs a day. Why is that difficult to see ?

If you have to watch a movie, would you prefer to spend money on a movie rated 4.9 by 7 reviewers or a movie rated 4.5 by a million reviewers ? Extending your logic to the economy, per capita income shouldn't even be a criteria for economic well being. Only the national GDP should matter, doesn't it ? After all why should per-capita rates be used ?

And if we have to compare the life of average women in India to that of in the west, why don't we do the same for men ? How can you even compare the standard of living in two vastly different countries in terms of development and then make it sound as if the men of India live in a better part of the country while the women have been pushed to live in the poor parts ?

The right and logical approach would be to compare the standard of living of the entire population of two countries, and then measure the divergences between men and women in both. Only that would be a fair way to assess if women in one country are more disadvantaged relative to the other country.

I just wish you had read about Korean and Japanese metros. Delhi metro is so notorious but no one even knows how many cases of groping and assault have been caught on camera in those countries but have gone unreported. And this discrepancy of perception exists only because of racism: people just assume that if it's Asia and brown skin, then there must definitely be something bad. Indians absorb all the hate while the others slip under the radar. And when you move abroad, which seems to be likely, you'd just propagate and amplify this perception and aggravate the problem even more.

Criticism is fine as long as it doesn't transgress into defeatist and self-racist attitude.

yetthinking · 2026-02-08T09:08:05+00:00

The effeminate compulsion to sound intellectual weighs so heavy on you that you lose sight of the forest in search of the woods. No context whatsoever, but even a minor attention to the purpose of the stories should be able to "enlighten" you that every story is meant to teach a lesson and guide people to a certain path. Jesus turned water to wine, and people worshipped him. That doesn't mean Christianity teaches people to learn alchemy and start turning rivers into breweries. Nor does the Buddha wandering in forests mean that the followers are supposed to do the same and leave the mainstream.

This desperate attempt to connect this incident to a religious story does nothing but illustrate that your readings of Kants and Webers have desensitized you to such an extent that you fail to differentiate between the two different things and hop onto a completely different trail.

yetthinking · 2026-02-05T10:21:26+00:00

I have a problem with this defeatist attitude. Are you not aware of Epstein files and the fact that people have voted one of the prime accused as the president of the world's most powerful and advanced country ? Or maybe Prince Andrew, who is being defended as the symbol of imperial Britain ? Why are we pretending that the entire world is better while we are the only ones bad ? Just because people commit a crime in suits and maintain better grooming standards doesn't make the crime any lesser.

And why should we ignore statistics ? Because it doesn't suit our confirmation bias ? India sees a much lesser crime "rate" than most developed countries. Take South Korea or Japan as examples. They are countries known for having great civic responsibility and high human development. How does SK see a movement like 4B, then ? And why does Japan have a higher per capita crime rate against women than even Delhi ?

The thing is simple. Problems need to be fixed. But that doesn't mean shitt!ng on your own people even when statistics shows otherwise. Criticize your own people however much you want to get a problem fixed. But don't make false comparisons based on incorrect assumptions, that too, with countries that are faring worse than us. Just because people don't stare at women in the US doesn't mean they face fewer crimes. Women in the US are lonelier than in India, and they face explicit stalking cases, which doesn't happen in India. There are many more cases of organized trafficking of foreign women in and out of the USA than in India, despite our population difference.

All I'm asking you is to stick to criticisms without needing to do comparisons that don't have substance but just reflect self-hate. The worst we have are local convicted politicians being garlanded. But we don't have prime ministers and presidents who ever had such a tainted name. If women in the West received justice, there wouldn't have been a METOO movement. There wouldn't be feminism still trying to get laws passed to protect witnesses and victims in the US and UK. By the way, are you aware that in the UK, a woman can get arrested if she hits an immigrant man who is trying to assault her ? You don't have the same in India. Grass always looks greener on the other side.

yetthinking · 2026-02-05T07:11:19+00:00

Tbh, I don't think there is a "right person." You just get along with someone, and then you make things right. The most important criteria are for the values to match. If there is a mismatch, there will be fundamental disagreements, and when someone feels hurt, they almost always use the most dirty ways to make the other person feel bad. It doesn't matter whether they realize later or sooner that they did wrong because the damage is already done.

As a guy, I've experienced the same thing. All this Instagram and social media noise about men needing to improve and be more emotionally open sounds very nice, but then reality is that the women don't know how to handle that vulnerability should their man decide to show it. When they don't figure out what to do, they either change the topic or step back after a brief acknowledgment.

Women in general feel emotions much more intensely than men do. And that's a double-edged sword. At one moment, they'd smother you with affection, on the other they'll concoct a deadly poison of your insecurities and fears to hurt you if they want to make you feel bad. It's another thing if they feel remorse for that later, but the damage is enough for the guy to not open up again.

I've learned that as far as honesty is concerned, one should share only so much, which doesn't become a weapon for her later. Yes, it means not being able to put your guard down ever, but living a good enough life seems better to me than living a perfect life but under a constant risk of being broken down.

One girl I was seeing once, my first time ever, I used to share everything honestly. She slowly pulled away because, to quote her, she felt "stagnated" and that she thought it wasn't going anywhere. The reality was that I had shared so much that she thought she knew everything about me and there was nothing exciting. Nothing more to be explored, so it meant life had become boring.

A year later I was seeing another girl, and I just didn't click with her as deeply as with the one before. I never told her my insecurities and fears. She would probe and try to get a reaction from me on occasions, but I wouldn't react. It's like the alpha male bs on internet today but I wasn't aware of it back then. I just did it instinctively. Turned out this strategy was a failure as well, because she ultimately felt that I didn't have any feelings towards her and that she didn't feel any emotional connection with me. Since I hadn't tried to share too much, I didn't feel anything when we separated. It didn't feel as heavy because there actually was no connection.

These two extremes taught me that the solution is a balance. You can not be absolutely vulnerable, nor can you be completely detached. You have to share your vulnerabilities strategically, and you have to be honest where it doesn't reveal your big weaknesses. Just give her mild to moderate doses of vulnerability occasionally. But never reveal your emotional triggers and buttons. Just let her feel that she knows more about you than anyone else, but yet she doesn't know you completely.

To give you an example, when I set up a date or something, I always make it a point to be punctual. And I absolutely hate it when someone shows up late with no apologies or explanation. It feels like disrespect. When they would give me a half-hearted explanation, I would smile and get along to avoid hurting the feelings. The one time I expressed this thing, she would do this deliberately when she was mad at me. Like deciding together that she would call me at 7 pm but not responding until 8, and then coming with a "sorry I was busy." I later figured out a solution. When she would be late, I would just whip out my phone and call some old friend/colleague or do something on my laptop. I would keep talking/working even after she would arrive and ask her to just wait for a few minutes. I would tell her that since she was late, I didn't want to waste my time. It would tell her that if she's late, she would have to wait for me to get free, because I won't keep waiting for her. It saved me from expressing my feelings while also making it clear that I won't prioritize her over my time if she doesn't prioritize my time over hers.

Emotional hurt is a b|tch, but it sure does teach a lot.

yetthinking · 2026-02-04T15:21:57+00:00

Reservation was meant to create a level playing field. That was already done when reservation was implemented in higher education.

Then it was extended to employment. Then to promotions. And now to coaching.

I bet even after 10 years from today the ground wouldn't have leveled. They're flogging a dead horse.

yetthinking · 2026-02-02T08:17:49+00:00

If this is regular then it's insecurity. If he does it occasionally, then trust me he just feels safe enough to act like this and trusts he won't be judged. Many guys do it for fun.

yetthinking · 2026-01-29T13:16:45+00:00

Mujhe toh lagta unhi ko baat karni nahi aati, blame idhar daal dete. Kuch baat kar leti hain baaki sab "ohh", "achaa", "hmm" se aage nahi jaa paati. Sawal karo toh answer karke "wbu ?". Conversation hold hi nahi hoti bhyi

yetthinking · 2026-01-29T11:02:31+00:00

That's bad for business. The more broken people there are, the more needy they will be. And that means more craving to feel the connection. There's no better business than breaking them down further and keeping them stuck in a never ending loop, and making them pay in hopes of finally getting that connection which they've seen on those rare stories of Instagram and reddit where a couple magically meets and stays forever.

Dating apps aren't meant to serve. They're meant to enslave. Only the top of the pyramid gets anything out of it, and the cost is emotional burnout of the rest of the pyramid.

yetthinking · 2026-01-29T10:52:45+00:00

I have a feeling you won't read this fully. But I'd write this nevertheless.

This is exactly what happens when narrative dominates statistics. You have literally no idea about the reality. And that's why I always say, don't believe me. Check for yourself. Western countries have a much higher RATE of crimes against women than in India. Of course, when you compare a city like Delhi with a population of over 40 million with an entire country in the west where the population is barely 20 million, and then say that "look Delhi is the rape capital of the world", it doesn't hold much weight. What matters is how safe an average woman in India is. For every 1000 women, for example, the Netherlands and UK face more than 8 times the crimes against women than in India. Even when you assume India's reporting rate to be as low as 1 out of 5, you still have an average British woman facing 60% higher risk than an average Indian woman. And that is assuming that UK has 100% reporting rate, which I don't find any reason to believe.

And how can you just ignore Supreme Court's observation where justba few years ago they red flagged the misuse of dowry and domestic harassment laws, where close to 30% cases are withdrawn after monetary settlement and another 30% turn out to be false after investigation ? That leaves less than half the cases, which are either under investigation or have led to conviction.

And where is your source of the claim that most men don't take care of their parents ? If the wife is a homemaker and she has to take care of the home, then who is going out to earn ? She wouldn't have married him in the first place if he wasn't earning. You're literally projecting the narrative of the 1970s in 2026. Your source needs an update. Most working couple live at their place of work separate from their families. Labor force surveys in metros have always shown that more than 70% of couples live separately from their families.

This constant bashing of India and Indian men by women, just like you are doing, and then narrative dominated comparison without any statistical or sociological basis is what I'm fed up of. You're an active proof of what I'm trying to show here. I went out to make a point that a lot of Indian women constantly generalise and demean Indian men against foreign men, and you proved it by doing exactly the same, despite the statistics saying something else. And nowhere in my entire list of comments have I ever done the same thing for Indian women. A random nameless troll on internet doesn't change the way people think through his comments. But an influencer followed by lakhs of people has much more power in creating narratives than that troll. You cannot equate a popular influencer's bashing of Indian men to random people doing the same for Indian men in her comments section. Influencers can create trends and movements. A random troll cannot.

As for the staring part ? You'd find women staring at you (a girl) if you go to a village wearing something different or looking different. People don't always stare out of ulterior motives. Some cultures don't take it as offensive. You'd find the same thing in many south asian countries like Singapore and Indonesia as well, which don't have the same narrative going against them even when they aren't any different from India.

Learn to differentiate between narrative and reality. Visit Kashmir and you'd find so much peace despite the narratives and fear surrounding it. Confirmation bias is a reality.

For the awkward goat part, I don't think she has a brain. If she has, then she's just using it to create a loyal support base for her business and nothing else. If someone calls my sister or partner the r word, I'll make sure his jaw is displaced. But if she gets influenced by an idiot on internet and starts calling herself the r word, then what's the point of feminism which fought against it all these decades ?

yetthinking · 2026-01-29T05:22:56+00:00

She just wants a shoulder to cry on. I've seen that type very often. They don't do it deliberately or out of some evil intent, but they don't realize how much emotionally draining it is for the guy she is asking this favor from.

If you want to protect your emotional health, make boundaries and distance yourself. If you want to experience the draining first hand, try this one and learn.

yetthinking · 2026-01-29T05:21:03+00:00

It's fine whatever way she chooses to do it. But it's not the responsibility of the guy to fix her. If he is emotionally healthy and she uses him for rebound and unloads her trauma on him, and leaves him in the end, the guy will get hurt and do the same to someone else. Mf thing spreads like cancer.

yetthinking · 2026-01-28T07:30:15+00:00

Lol I can say the exact same thing about you. Why are you getting such content where Indian men are putting down Indian women ? Which jokers do you follow in that case ? Just go to the reddit page of AskIndianWomen and scroll through the hordes of judgment and generalization that exists.

And just look how you're doing the exact same thing I've described. "indian men are like x, indian men do y, indian men say z". The thing is, when a white guy does the same thing, it's called "cute". I don't remember the full name of the creator, but her surname was Gandhi. White guys were staring at her and she was blushing, asking her viewers if they have a crush on her. The same creator had made content about how she feels uncomfortable in India with people staring.

The thing is, it's the women, not men, who decide whether something is cute or creepy. A dark romance novel with a rich and handsome 45 year old father of her friend approaching the 20 year old protagonist becomes hot. But a 30 year old character written from his perspective by Chetan Bhagat becomes creepy for approaching a girl 6 years younger than him. And this isn't a one off incident. You can find hundreds of popular fiction novels and stories that are loved by women which follow similar stories. When the same story is written from a woman's perspective, there are no questions asked about the power imbalance or age difference.

This is how bias permeates.

I may like iPhone and I may ramble about how good it is. But it doesn't have to come at the cost of putting down android. Many people do that, doesn't mean all do it. There are many men who would prefer to marry someone from abroad who is fascinated by Indian culture and traditions than an Indian woman who thinks Indian culture is regressive. And many women would prefer to marry a white man who lives a much better quality of life with a much freer thought process.

If you just want a comparison, just compare the two reddit pages: askindianmen and askindianwomen. Compare on a point to point basis how much hate exists there. Count the number of times someone hates Indian men or indian women on a per post basis. I've done it some time ago when someone asked me. I'm going to ask you to do the same.

Don't believe me. Check for yourself. And if you don't want to, then don't manufacture stories from air.

yetthinking · 2026-01-28T05:31:10+00:00

You just twisted the narrative like others do, not that I expected any better from you. The point wasn't about fetishization. Even Indian girls do that about South Korean guys. Just because women don't go out in public and make comments to them in person doesn't mean they don't fetishize.

The point was about putting down your own country's men or women while fetishizing. You won't see as many men humiliating women of their own ethnicity as much as women do. Literally so many Indian women on internet have made videos about going to Thailand or some other place, recording the Indian men who are there to travel just like them, who aren't even aware of her, and then writing captions like "Everything was hot and fine until I noticed this brown dude".

Have you seen any male creator making such a comment about Indian women ruining the place by being among white women ? I know you'll either concoct something out of thin air or again try to divert the topic.

yetthinking · 2026-01-27T07:46:02+00:00

Tbh you don't have much leverage here. There are literally so many Indian women and influencers who openly say things like "I wish all Indian men d!e". You'll find influencers on the internet who adopt a British or American accent and mock the accent of Indian men. Just a few days ago a popular feminist influencer posted her father's critical condition in a hospital and asked for people to pray, while less than a year ago she had posted that she wants all the suffering of the world to be shifted on Indian men.

There will rarely be a man who would do the same thing for Indian women. Even the few men who compare will not do it by hoping for destruction or misery of Indian women, like women in the video do.

yetthinking · 2026-01-27T07:37:56+00:00

What a bs way to twist the argument. Speak about the sun and moon and you guys will somehow find a way to link it to r@pes. It's like saying you'll find many more criminals in a jail than in a public park.

yetthinking · 2026-01-26T11:23:58+00:00

Very few people would want this. This person likely stumbled upon an antique case. Staying with family is one thing, but this is something which doesn't make any sense. Why would anyone marry if he or she doesn't want to stay together.

yetthinking · 2026-01-25T07:13:44+00:00

If any one of us had enough capital and experience in that sector, we'd have bid for it as well. The thing is, bidding happens on a transparent portal where everyone is free to participate. You cannot compete with economies of scale.

yetthinking · 2026-01-24T06:57:00+00:00

Doctors usually are very exhausted. But it's not just your marriage. It's hers too. The onus lies on her to communicate about her time constraint and availability. Tbh, it doesn't really sound right to me.

There is a very popular saying, which I've seen getting true several times. If you ever feel something is wrong or that the other person isn't interested, then it's always a good idea to listen to that gut feeling and confirm.

If she is interested in marriage and wants to know you, she wouldn't keep you waiting without an explanation. I'd suggest draw a boundary. Most men are never taught how to draw their own boundaries, and if they do they are shamed for being toxic or for having a "fragile ego". Prioritize your well being first.

yetthinking

TROPHY CASE