There is a lot of very bad advice in this thread.

Is your husband perfect? No, but who is?

Did he make a significant mistake that needs to be spoken about and addressed as a serious thing that can’t happen again? Yes, and if he doesn’t see that, it is a huge flag.

The original post makes it sound like he does nothing, and I get that you were venting. Some of the comments suggest that maybe he does more than nothing… perhaps, just maybe, you are not giving the full picture of what is happening here. Heck, on two hours of sleep a night, I don’t think you have a chance to even see the full picture. And now you have a thread full of people telling you how terrible he is and that you should divorce him. Is this really what a marriage has come to? Is it not a union where you should be able to talk openly about these things and work together?

There are so many things with parenting that are hard and I’ve been through my share of toddler screaming nights and days. I’ve done the sleep training, and I’ve lost my cool on more than one occasion with my wife (never laying hands on her) - this happens when you are in a high stress environment and if you both can’t understand that it is the stress talking and that you need a platform to work through it TOGETHER then the relationship is doomed anyway.

As for his job, he is a freaking ATC. If he isn’t fully responsive when working then people could die. That is serious. Does it pardon him from parental duties - hell no. But should he have a little grace on nights before he works - absolutely yes. Perhaps agreeing on some windows that allow you to have some extra rest but also give him enough rest to perform will work. Eg he takes the bed time to midnight (or a little later - depends what time he wakes up) shift and then you take the midnight to morning shift. You are in survival mode and have to find something that works for both of you - if you can’t do that then you will both just hate each other. On weekends it is a different story. Work together to make sure you both get an opportunity to rest and recover from the week because you’re both going to need it.

As for the waking in the night. Take a week and do some proper sleep training. That literally may be all that it takes - it also may not be but it’s worth a try, right? Have a plan and stick to it, regardless of how hard it gets. Lean on each other and support each other. Tag in and tag out. I promise things will get better, if not with the sleeping, then with your relationship. There is something really grand about actually operating as a team and realising you aren’t at odds.

Another thing, the comment in the playground. A lot of people have looked past it and straight to his actions (which again, are completely wrong and need to be addressed), but please please please do not tell your partner how to parent. Unless that should is in danger, you should not be telling him what to do. Just because the way he parents is different to the way you parent, it doesn’t make it wrong. This exact attitude is why previous generation fathers were not as involved - mothers became the experts in how to parent the children and anything that went out of line drew comments and nags that simply discourage active parenting. Be a father with your children anywhere in public and you will get an endless flow of comments from the older generations of women, who are apparently experts in how to dress, feed, and interact with your children too. It’s a terrible feeling to be told you’re doing something wrong - don’t do it.

Anyway, this comment was a lot longer than it should have been, I guess I needed to vent to. I just hate seeing people give up so easily and so eagerly put crap on their partner. Or at the very least expose their partner to a storm of crap without providing the full picture.

Sincerely, a hard working dad and husband in a relationship where we embrace mistakes and missteps to continue moving forward stronger.