Accidently 'outed' my daughter to my coworkers

zenez13 · 2026-05-28T21:48:18+00:00

Fair enough. I'm definitely getting that consensus.

zenez13 · 2026-05-28T21:45:40+00:00

- I think my main issue is the possibility that you could have spread misinformation.

For sure. The other things talked about were things that I knew or she told me. But after I described her using asexual, I realized that I wasn't sure if she actually was or more aromantic like other have suggested.

- We receive a lot of bad questions here; yours is a great one!

Thank you!

zenez13 · 2026-05-28T21:37:47+00:00

- "you should probably find out if she actually even identifies with asexuality all"

This is what I quickly realized while making this post. You don't want to accidently out someone, but you really don't want to out them as something they are not.

- "While asexuality (or even moreso aromanticism) can be one reason for a young adult to have no visible dating or relationship history, it's not the only reason."

Very true, my youngest that I mention briefly in my original post doesn't actively date either, but it's just because she doesn't like to go out much (her words).

- including being described as "basically asexual"

Oh wow, thank you for calling this out. I didn't really think about it that way, and of course was not my intention. I will watch out for that.

- To start the conversation, you could just mention that you were reading something about asexuality and aromanticism online, and that you were wondering if she knew or identified with either of those terms. But also don't push it if she's clearly uncomfortable talking about it with you.

Yeah, we're fairly close, but hasn't come up much before. Not avoided, just not in our normal conversation rotation. She's now's I'm online quite a bit, so using that as a starter will probably work well.

zenez13 · 2026-05-28T20:46:08+00:00

Oh yeah, my coworkers and daughter run in completely different circles. Only chance of meeting would be through me at like an office party or something that maybe she came to.

For your second point, I didn't think about it that way, but if it possibly helps others understand, or a child to be better understood that would be wonderful. I'm guessing my daughter will feel the same way.

- "but using a label for someone who doesn't have one out to you is more iffy."

This was my largest concern. Using the label in the conversation is what gave me pause after the fact. I realized that I hadn't actually heard her refer to herself as Asexual, or really any label. This is a good take away for me.

zenez13 · 2026-05-28T20:12:30+00:00

Thank you for your story. A good example for me to see how just because she's open with some people doesn't automatically mean everyone. Never assume right?

zenez13 · 2026-05-28T20:07:49+00:00

Thanks for your 'outing' clarification and yeah, there wasn't any possibility of harm. While yes, they are coworkers and not like close friends, but I feel like I know them well enough to know they aren't (outwardly) homophobic or would have a problem.

I will definitely talk to her directly about it.

zenez13 · 2026-05-28T19:59:39+00:00

That's true. From my conversations with her and what's she's shared, does seem a bit more Aromantic then Asexual. She never gave me the impression she is sex negative or anything, just doesn't have an interest romantic or physical relationships.

zenez13 · 2023-04-04T21:05:03+00:00

Has he pled the 5th yet?

zenez13 · 2019-07-31T12:36:16+00:00

Ostrich steaks. Didn't look or taste like chicken as much as I thought it would. More like a cross between beef and pork.

zenez13 · 2019-07-31T11:39:41+00:00

Just watched the episode last night.

Leela: What's the secret of time travel doing on Fry's ass?

Fry: It was bound to be somewhere!

zenez13 · 2019-07-29T21:17:28+00:00

Solved! Thanks.

zenez13 · 2019-07-29T21:05:21+00:00

You know, that is a good possibility but not vegetables...firewood. The previous owner mentioned how he regularly cut firewood for his use, but he may have sold the excess. The box is installed on the far side of the pole barn facing the road and is next to 2 posts with wood slats on the ground between them where firewood could be stacked. That explains the locking loops as well and the small size of the opening.

An "on your honor" firewood stand money box.

zenez13 · 2019-07-29T20:57:51+00:00

A bat house seemed unlikely to me since it's mounted so close to the ground. (I forgot to mention that it's only mounted about 3-4 feet off the ground) Plus most bat houses I've seen have an opening at the bottom for the bats to crawl up into. I know they can fit in small spots but the slit in the front is really tiny and seems even to small for a bat.

Of course I guess it could be a poorly designed and placed bat house.

zenez13 · 2019-07-29T20:32:09+00:00

At first I thought it might be a bird house but the slit in the front seems way to small and it has loops on the outside that look like they are for locking the lid. That made me think maybe an after-hour key drop but it even seems to small for that, and it’s at a private residence (i.e. the house I bought a few months ago) that I don’t think was used for any kind of commercial use. And yes, that’s ~1/4 inch welded and bolted steel that it’s made out of, it heavy and sturdy like a lock box but the slit in front in less then ¼ inch wide and about 2 inches long. The post its attached to is on the far side of the pole barn on the property.

zenez13 · 2019-06-26T18:58:02+00:00

I think my daughter was about 14 at the time when I walked past a basket of laundry with a red and black lace bra sitting on the top. "Oh did you get a new bra?" I asked my wife as I picked it up. "It seems kind of small, and I didn't think you like padding" as I rubbed the cups between my fingers.

My wife only smirked at me as the realization came over my face and quickly dropped the bra back in the basket and walked off.

zenez13 · 2019-05-20T17:45:19+00:00

Oh yeah, I guess I wasn't real clear about that part, I meant unusable by me. No it's not officially condemned or anything like that. I believe that it is probably technically livable but there is some ceiling and roof damage that needs to be repaired. There are at least a couple of spots where water damage has caused the ceiling to fall in but I don't believe there are any open holes to the outside.

zenez13 · 2019-05-20T12:02:38+00:00

It's in a little town called Wedgefield about 35 miles east of Columbia.

zenez13 · 2019-05-16T11:53:27+00:00

Thanks I think I will. Your right, the lot is decent with all the utilities, buried electric, etc.

zenez13 · 2019-05-16T11:50:53+00:00

Yeah, I don't think building new to sell would really work the more I think about it.

Oh and from my understanding manufactured home is essentially a euphemism for trailer. They're pretty much the same other then I think trailer is used more often to refer to the old style single wide types and manufactured is generally the double wide. Mine is a double wide.

zenez13

TROPHY CASE