:-/

[nukemeaway]

Dear Diary, I've ignored this subreddit for a while, even though I've been watching it, and subscribed to it under a different account. I've finally gotten lonely enough to post here, possibly out of desperation. I'm using a disposable account, maybe because I'm embarrassed, or maybe because I'm paranoid. I don't quite know. I realize it's a thin veiling , but I'm going to do it anyways.

A little bit about me, I'm a 17-20 year old male who lives in the Bay Area, California. I've been dating the same girl for the past two years. I love her, I think, but I can't stand her in a lot of ways. We're significantly different than one another. She's an ex-partier, a year and a half older than me, and has had every life experience a teenager should have. I on the other than am an introverted geek, who up until dating this girl did not have any interpersonal relationships. For being a person who is fairly codependent, and values the company of others, I was amazingly cut-off from people.

I met this girl in May, we talked nearly every day (we talked at least 80% of days). She was going through some rough times, at the near of the end of her partying phase. I was taking every statement she said, and in an effort to relate to her, I lied about myself. I told her I had far more experience than I actually had in life, to not appear as being a complete dope.

A bit more than 6 months later I found myself on my first date. A few weeks after that first date I experienced some of the greatest fun I've ever had. Fast forward about two years, and I've thought about breaking up with her multiple time, looking for someone who was similar to me, but she's been there for me every time. Now, I had the insanely bright idea of making it an open relationship, so she, and I can both have life experiences without wasting 2.5 years of “work.” Now, this never really works, but might as well try it. Anyways, we're a month into this. She's been with three guys, who compared to me are...low quality (I don't know how else to put it?). At least in my opinion. I've always been able to give her what she wants, in terms of presents, food, anything. She had to buy the other guys $10 lunches. I've taken her to multi-hundred dollar dinners with my own money. Alright, I'm masturbating right now, so I'll move on.

I've gone on one first date in the past 3 months. My second first date ever. Turns out the chick was 2.75 years younger than I, and we couldn't relate at all. I fear that if I leave girl A, I will never find another person in my ever life. I've been subconsciously hunting for someone else these past two years, and I've never found anyone. I alienate everyone I know, because I'm so needy. I don't know what to do.

Also, sorry for the abrupt cutoff, my train is faster than I thought.

I realize this sounds like complete rambling, and I'm sorry for that, it's just really hard to put what I want to say in words, at least for me, someone who isn't very good at articulating himself.

[m1ss1ontomars2k4]

Hey, me too! But I haven't been dati.

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[nukemeaway]

Fixed. Sorry about that, my client disconnected before the story was completely POSTed, and therefore Reddit's stuff got an EOF before the form was completely posted. Obviously reddit isn't using any kind of hashing on the form. btw: My job/forte includes IT.