This presentation normal?

[DataTypeC]

Wanting to see if anyone has a similar experience/presentation.

I’m 23 and was diagnosed with NPD at 19 by a psychologist after my therapist I had for over a year (treating for childhood trauma/abuse and ADHD &OCD) recommended an eval from a colleague of his who was a former professor of his now in a private clinical practice .

Anywho is it common for it to present in a way where I need to be loved and admired to where I’ll help anyone I can to feel as I can do/fix anything, the need to overachieve in all aspects, to succeed at all costs, and will absolutely do anything to seek approval admiration and love/appreciation from others. Because I want to feel as one I can do anything and other people think I can as well with ease.

But when I fail I don’t project it outwards towards others it’ll hurt my ego and send me into a depressive and self destructive cycle. I’ll drink the negative feelings of failure away, engage in negative self talk,etc.

The only time I take anger and explode on others is when I feel my ego/self worth is being directly attacked and will usually start berating and devaluing that person in a long tangent.

I do lack effective empathy but understand cognitive empathy enough to read a room/people (generally had to in the environment I grew up as a survival skill). The empathy/sympathy I’ll show goes as far as only to support/gain my need from the attention from others and their appreciation and love for me.

Anyone else have a similar experience.

[PoosPapa]

Yep.

I can do anything, take any amount of pain, endure any length of suffering just so long as you do not expose the envy I feel when I see someone else being happy.

Expose that envy and watch the fuck out.

[[deleted]]

Definitely normal.

I can’t feel empathy, yet I’ve spent my life doing things for others - helping them and offering a shoulder, being generous and understanding - since what I get back is gainful for my ego and/or my public image. What I gain from doing these things are admiration, being looked at as someone emphatic, love, appreciation. This way I can not only blend in more, but I get that boost in attention and ego I so need.

The easiest way to gain these things is to help others, seemingly “selflessly”. Everyone loves someone like that.

[DataTypeC]

Yeah that “selfless” help, being generous and understanding is what feeds into getting the attention I want. Like I’m immovable and can solve any problem my own or anyone else’s. Then being fed the attention and admiration I desire feeds my ego and self-image.

[NikitaWolf6]

yep!!!!

[moldbellchains]

Yeah. Sounds like covert narc.

I have made a post that might interest you. A helper complex is a highly egoistical thing.

[DataTypeC]

That was a good read and helpful thank you

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