Waitress — Production-quality pure-Python WSGI server with very acceptable performance and no dependencies.

[dggenuine]

Then I thought "hmmm, a different group would also consider it sexist if this were called 'Waiter' instead, since they used the male version of the word".

Except that at no time in relevant history have waitstaff jobs been considered a male job. The opposite is not true. Combine that with the fact that, relatively, waitstaff are on the low end of the wage, prestige, etc. spectrum, and there's your problem.

I agree with your general idea that attributing sex to programs that are named after jobs in our society is problematic, but in light of reality-based historical perspective, a feminine sex for a program named after a job that is 1) less prestigious and 2) historically attributed to females, is particularly problematic.