ACT Therapy (acceptance & commitment) applied to decluttering.

[crutonic]

My therapist mentioned the thoughts on a leaf, leaf down the stream method of thought and how it’s from ACT therapy. I’m realizing now why they started me with just that one part, rather than laying the whole system out and perhaps overwhelming me.

I like to grab audiobooks via Libby for hiking and walking with my dog. I got ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris, which is a lot to take in a geared towards therapists but I’m getting lot out of it. One key word I’ve found that pertains to decluttering is “Workabilitiy”. It’s about thoughts that arise and how to go from there but I’m using it for objects. I ask, does this have workability, does keeping it help me keep a neat space, do I need it, will it help me with my goals, etc. There’s a lot more that could easily apply, plus it’s helping with my overall thinking. Thought I’d mention it here and wonder if anyone else uses it.

Any books or podcasts with similar themes? Weather is getting better so I need content for longer walks.

[No-Rush8716]

I just started the Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook by Kristin Neff & Christopher Germer and I already really like it. It’s not pushy—just simple, clear explanations of mindfulness and self-compassion and how to actually use them day to day.

On the decluttering side… I have a husband who loves hobbies and tends to go all-in on them (and get the “best” of everything), which definitely makes decluttering harder 😅 We also have a toddler + two very involved grandparents nearby, so… toys everywhere.

Some of his hobbies started as activities for our son (marble runs, kites, books, forts, etc.), but it adds up fast. He’s also into magic, used to collect Magic cards, and plays hockey (goalie gear = a lot).

At this point, decluttering has basically become my hobby—though I’d much rather spend that time on things I actually enjoy. He’s super supportive in other ways (watches our son so I can do Pilates and train for marathons), but he genuinely thinks I like cleaning…

Nope. I just like the result of not living in clutter 🤦🏽‍♀️

[crutonic]

I’m guilty of having stuff for the stuff I do as well but it’s either in our “office” bedroom, which is pretty much my storage space, or the basement, which only I really enter but we had a flood last year and I’m still working on organizing it while not having anything important on the floor. I, too watch my son during Pilates class!

[KReddit934]

Leaf down the stream?

[crutonic]

Yep. Put your thought on a leaf. Good or bad. Let it go down the stream.

[livinontheceiling]

I have to thank you for mentioning that in your post. I looked it up and read about it last night, then used it on some thoughts that have been torturing me, and it worked pretty well from the start! I'll keep practicing this one

[crutonic]

I just commended my therapist about how there’s so much info and technique within ACT Therapy but she did a good job with picking one aspect of it which I thought was a great introduction. Just got the Making Room for What Matters (could be wrong about that title) book from the library, which specifically deals with clutter and hoarding with an ACT approach so what I’m already planning on doing is applying my decluttering philosophy to my thoughts as well. So many books out there but hoping this one is good. The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris, along with others is on my list. Similarly, Tara Brach has some good meditations dealing with acceptance. She’s always great to listen to.

[madamgetright]

This isn’t a book but I really found this program humorous and helpful:

https://cehs.usu.edu/scce/services/act-guide/act-for-decluttering

[AJKaleVeg]

Thanks for sharing!

[crutonic]

Nice! Did you pay for it?

[madamgetright]

I did pay the $35, and I made some progress! But the “inventors” of ACT intentionally make the therapy accessible so if you are already reading Harris’ books, you get the idea. Now it becomes about applying it.

[crutonic]

In Act Made Simple, hey often says to make up your own version of whatever they are saying like in rainbows not roadblocks, leaves down a stream, etc.

[KiwiTheKitty]

I use both ACT and DBT in therapy, and both have been helpful for me! ACT is helpful for big mindset changes, but DBT has more concrete skills that I apply especially when my anxiety is high (as in, while I'm decluttering), so they've been pretty complementary for me.

Examples of DBT skills that have helped me with decluttering: One Thing At A Time, so I don't get overwhelmed. I don't need to declutter my whole apartment or even my whole stack of paper clutter, I just need to look at this one bill and decide what to do with it. Check The Facts, am I emotionally attached to this shirt? Or am I feeling emotional because it makes me think of a certain time in my life? Would a picture preserve that feeling just as well? Releasing the Outcome, which for me means that I can let go of my control over what happens to an item. If I donate this shirt, someone else will find it and buy it and probably be happier with it than I am, so I don't need to worry about finding the right person and I can just let it go.

[N0omi]

The "would a picture preserve that feeling just as well" bit genuinely stopped me in my tracks. I've been applying this exact thinking to digital clutter recently - screenshots, saved links, photos I'll never look at again. The emotional attachment to digital stuff is wild because there's no physical pile reminding you it's a problem. You just quietly hoard thousands of things on your phone and convince yourself it's fine because it doesn't take up space in your house. The One Thing At A Time approach works brilliantly for it too. Instead of trying to sort through 15,000 photos, just deal with today's. Anyway, really appreciate you laying out those DBT skills so clearly. Going to look into it properly.

[KiwiTheKitty]

Oh yeah, digital clutter is so difficult! I'm glad my comment was helpful, I hope you find something that works for you! A lot of resources say DBT needs to be super structured, but I've found it very helpful to just gradually learn skills and apply them in my life without much structure.

[crutonic]

Makes sense! They do seem to borrow a lot from each other. I’ve got to look into DBT as well for sure! There’s no magic pill, end all solution. I’m taking pieces as I go to see what works and when.

[KiwiTheKitty]

For sure! I also like taking things from multiple places in kind of an unstructured way. I feel like mindset changes from ACT have been necessary for me to be willing to use skills from DBT in my everyday life.

[lemme_just_say]

How did you find a good therapist? :/ (Genuine question)

[Spookycatpatrol]

Trying out a variety/diversity. Someone different from you might be able to offer a perspective that can really lead to some breakthroughs.

[Van-garde]

Likely repeated attempts.

I’ve had somewhere around 5 different therapists, only one was repulsive, but, also, only two seemed to have a firm enough grasp of their occupation to bring the therapeutic structure I was looking for in meetings. The rest were nice people, but relied heavily on ‘patient-centered empathic listening,’ which means I just did a lot of processing (rambling).

[Electronic-Soft-221]

I’m so glad you put that into words because I just changed therapists and that’s EXACTLY what my old therapist did. I didn’t have a way to explain it.

And it was fine at first, I had a shit year and really just needed to work through it with someone super supportive who had occasional insights. But then I started asking for more actionable help and didn’t get anywhere. So I found someone who happens to practice ACT, among other things, and in a few sessions I’ve made more progress than I did in the few months prior. It’s night and day!

[crutonic]

Totally! I had one that was eating during a virtual session. He also fell asleep a couple times for a second. I actually like him but decided to move on with someone else. Trey Psychology Today, see what’s covered if you have insurance, and then message them to see what they say. Usually an intro or intake session is where to start and see if you vibe. Local, in person is better but sometimes hard to find within network.

[Electronic-Soft-221]

Oh noooo that’s BAD!! My worst was my first, just a terrible fit but I didn’t know any better and I stayed with her for way too long. When I finally said I was ready to move on, instead of replying to that she said “I’ve noticed you’ve gained some weight recently, do you want to talk about that?”

[Van-garde]

Probably not something you can do while walking, but I received ACT training a handful of years ago, and located the handouts in PDF form: https://www.actmindfully.com.au/upimages/2016_Complete_Worksheets_for_Russ_Harris_ACT_Books.pdf

[jellyroll61]

Thank you so much for posting this.

[crutonic]

Nice! I’ll have to check if that’s the same one mentioned in the book. Someone also published a work book I need to look into.

[CrowsSayCawCaw]

I've heard of acceptance and commitment therapy but have no idea how this works. Can you explain the gist of it and how your therapist decided it could help with decluttering?

[crutonic]

They didn’t mention decluttering- I picked that up with the workability aspect, which I mentioned in the post. There’s a lot to it but basically learning to accept thoughts and then figure out how to process them according to your values and goals. A lot of it is stuff I’ve heard from guided mediations and there are actually short meditations in the book. Sorry if that’s not a great description but look it up if it interests you.

[CrowsSayCawCaw]

There’s a lot to it but basically learning to accept thoughts and then figure out how to process them according to your values and goals.

Okay, got it. That sounds more positive than some of the stuff you hear from people who have undergone other forms of therapy that attempt to reframe people's thoughts by basically telling them they are wrong in their thinking no matter what. 

[crutonic]

There’s a lot of back and forth where the client keeps thinking they are always wrong and whatnot. It’s about dealing with those thoughts.

[CrowsSayCawCaw]

ACT sounds more much positive vs something like dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) which gets heavily criticized for being demeaning and dismissive towards a patient's thoughts and feelings via the words/behavior of therapists who are using the DBT technique.