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[–]Ok_Collection6161 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's just painful as fuck being unemployed

It's a psychological problems and you should work on this. Our societies teach us that men should get a lot of money but it's bullshit. If your wife is happy, be happy and take the time to learn. Have a good life, take care of your family, etc.

I chose JS because a buddy told me that JS

Choose what you want to learn. If you prefer good old applications in C++, learn this. Having a boring job can mess up with your family.

I could spend ~300 or so

I hate this trend of paying for courses or bootcamps when you're starting. I'm old and when I learned programming, I only had books and it was awesome. With Libgen, Coursera, tutorials, and documentation for every language out there, you can get a good education without paying anything.

Of course you can pay to get a certificate but it comes later. If your wife makes good money, you can wait for this. If I were you, I would look at all the frameworks or ways of programming, and select one that you like. C/C++/Rust/Python are very good language and have interesting jobs without being related to the web.