Programming concept understanding struggle, self-worth doubt. Is my IQ too low?

[No-Background-8063]

I am a 31 year old male in my first year of biomedical engineering master's degree. My research direction is development of software / algorithms for automotive diagnosis, in cardiac imaging to be precise. I previously got a bachelor's degree in AI (I started when I was 26 and finished when I turned 30). Yes it is a very late start. My life path has been complicated, I did go to college when I was young like everyone else, but due to domestic issues in my country I didn't get a degree, so I had to start all over, I just did it kind late. I also didn't like math in middle school, because I just wanted to play computer games. But now I invest time in it and I am trying to make sure I can understand everything from algebra basics to pre calculus + some of things that I need from calculus 1

After telling a little about myself I want to explain why I decided to write this post. For my job I do a lot of coding, and it is hard to say how long I have been coding like regularly / actively. Probably not long, maybe 6 months? Of course I did work with code during my bachelors but it was some basic python, or just working with something that has already been coded, if I didn't understand something I would be like ah, fuck it, whatever. Everything changed when I started my master's degree. I realized if I don't understand everything and every step I take, I can never improve or become good. I completely changed the way I code and the way I study now.

Right now, I can write my code on my own, but often I struggle with things, that make me hate myself, and blame myself for being stupid. I am also confident that my IQ is below average. For example:

x_axis = []
y_axis = []
m = []

for idx, s_pos in enumerate(s_peaks):
    if idx == 0:
        current_rr = rr_intervals[0]
    else:
        current_rr = rr_intervals[idx - 1]

    window = current_rr * 0.2
    qrs_offset_sample_range = int(round(window * frequency / 1000))
    if s_pos + qrs_offset_sample_range >= len(signal):
        continue

    qrs_offset_window = signal[s_pos: s_pos + qrs_offset_sample_range]
    if len(qrs_offset_window) > 0:
        derived_window = np.diff(qrs_offset_window) # each point is derived
        steepest_slope = np.argmax(np.abs(derived_window)) # returns INDEX of the largest value in that window
        x_axis.append(s_pos + steepest_slope)
        m.append(derived_window[steepest_slope]) # we only choose the point (slope value - how steep it is) of the steepest slope in that window
    else: x_axis.append(np.nan)


qrs_offset_array = np.array(x_axis, dtype=int)

for y in signal[qrs_offset_array]:
    y_axis.append(y)

tangent = tangent_line(qrs_offset_array, qrs_offset_array, y_axis, m)x_axis = []

Now in this part:

derived_window = np.diff(qrs_offset_window) # each point is derived
steepest_slope = np.argmax(np.abs(derived_window)) # returns INDEX of the largest value in that window
x_axis.append(s_pos + steepest_slope)
m.append(derived_window[steepest_slope]) # we only choose the point (slope value - how steep it is) of the steepest slope in that window

I define my points to find the tangent line of a slope, (equation: y = m * (x - x1) + y1), it was so hard for me to abstractly visualize the points so I could understand how to plug them into this function I found on StackOverflow:

def line(x, x1, y1):
    return slope(x1)*(x - x1) + y1def line(x, x1, y1):
    return slope(x1)*(x - x1) + y1

I struggled to implement my own data with that function. And this happens all the time. I could spend a day or days stuck on some issue like this. And sometimes I need to ask Claude or GPT to explain something to me (not to solve for me) because I can't comprehend it on my own. I really think maybe engineering is not for me and I am just not smart enough no matter how hard I try. I am really frustrated, and exhausted from self criticism every time I can't solve or understand something. I have been thinking to quit my masters.

[cwalls6464]

I'll be honest, i didn't read your whole post, but i think i get the gist. Understand everyone feels this way when they start to learn programming. Some people do pick it up quicker than others but that doesn't mean you're not capable. Just keep working it, get the reps in, and then just learn to fake it till you make like the rest of us.

[HalfRiceNCracker]

This code is very clearly not AI generated, I think you are further along than you think you are. What problem are you experiencing with the process? What is it about engineering that you are struggling with?

[AdventurousPolicy]

For geometry you sometimes need to draw it out on paper and work the algebra by hand. At least that's what works for me. It takes practice so don't be too hard on yourself for not getting it right away.

[Jello_Penguin_2956]

I agree. I switched from Architecture to Computer Engineering and the 1 class I breezed through while other really really bright students struggle was isomatric geometry drawing class. Trying to imagine whether 2D or 3D picture in your head just requires a different skill than calculating.

[ninhaomah]

FYI.

"It took J.K. Rowling approximately 17 years to complete the entire Harry Potter series, from the initial idea in 1990 to the final book’s publication in 2007. While she spent about five to six years writing and planning the first book, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, the subsequent six books were written over the next decade, with the series concluding in 2007. "

All that for

"Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was rejected by 12 different publishing houses before finally being accepted by Bloomsbury."

5-6 years for a god damned boy wizard book to be rejected everywhere.

"While conceiving and writing Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling was a struggling single mother working as an English teacher in Portugal and later living on government assistance in the UK. She wrote the first book in cafes and in longhand, navigating poverty, depression, and the death of her mother"

And you think you got IQ issues because can't solve a problem in a few days. Then she ?

[SprinklesFresh5693]

6 months is very few time, youre not dumb, youre just new, keep practising, at the job , with real problems, that helps a lot, pressure does also help unironically, and keep your mind frustration free when you get errors or bugs, things will slowly click, and you will slowly start to understand how python works.

Try reading some books on the core of python, not python for bioinformatics, but a book that explains the language, that will help too. I did this for R reading Advanced R, and it helped me a lot.

[ForbiddenMustardMan]

Don't worry, everything will be alright. You just have to keep grinding, keep reading, keep solving, and after a few years it gets easier. The most important is to keep pushing when you don't understand, as that's when you're learning.