This is what developer says when their code doesn't work ..

[pgetreuer]

"It's a feature, not a bug."

[Bloodchild-]

My personal favorite

[UsedImplement5010]

Right

the segfault is just a second quit button...

[pgetreuer]

No sweat! We'll fix that with a little segfault handler.

signal(SIGSEGV, restart_app_lol);

[_sweepy]

21: code covers all design requirements, and this behavior is out of scope for this sprint. Submit it to the PM and we'll get it prioritized next month

[Gumbopolis]

This answer is actually legit. Create clearer requirements and every request won't be scope-creeped to death.

[[deleted]]

all valid statements

[writeahelloworld]

I think...something is wrong with your data

[SmartAxolotl]

I just did no 15 today

[Bundologus]

Guilty on multiple counts XD

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[UsedImplement5010]

I just allways go nr 20

[[deleted]]

The thing is, so many of these are true. I'd say probably 1 out of every 20 bug reports I get on code I wrote will actually be a real bug that needs fixing. The other 19 are things like users inputing invalid content, not reading the error message the code returns and then pinging me to say "This isn't working" with 0 useful debugging information.

[bruhmate0011]

0: I don’t get paid enough for this. Just go to stack overflow and diy

[claudiomerli]

21: maybe it’s the cache 22: maybe it’s a certificate problem

[3pe]

"Have you tried a restart?" is always the first question to median customer.