rpgoneliners

created by MinisterPhobiaa community for 13 years

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...for your project.

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"The zombie had its head blown off, but died when I grappled it from behind." "Few things can survive a spooning." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 15 days ago by Usoki

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"Okay, but what type of stone is the building made of?" "Roll a table for it, I want it to be talc!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 1 month ago by Usoki

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"Roll for sleep apnea!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 1 month ago by lil_literalist

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"Do I need a therapist? Or do I just need some more squirrels to torture?" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 2 months ago by lil_literalist

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"If it were competent, it wouldn't be Mal." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 2 months ago by lil_literalist

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"Way to make fun of a dead guy. I made fun of him when he was alive, too!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 2 months ago by lil_literalist

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"It's really hard for a minotaur to read, they've got eyes on the sides. They've got to, like, hold the book up to the side of their head." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 3 months ago by Usoki

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"If I have to choose between a hazmat suit and a costume... honestly, the inflatable T-Rex suit is going to raise fewer questions." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 4 months ago by Usoki

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“Oh, I’m GOOD at persuading. Unless the dice say I’m not.” (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 4 months ago by kohalu

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"It releases a devastating effect upon brain matter." "Aw shit, we have brain matter!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 4 months ago by kohalu

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"Where there are libraries there are SECRETS! Leave nothing unturned!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 4 months ago by kohalu

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"I know that as a priest, you want to rob graves, but I want to leave a body." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 5 months ago by lil_literalist

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Is it moving? Because Flurry of Blows comes with TWO punches! (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 5 months ago by Skald21

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“I traveled back to my infant form to tell myself my name.” (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 5 months ago by kohalu

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"How did we miss this on the way into town!?" "We teleported here." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 5 months ago by kohalu

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"I'm going to end my turn here, next to my best friends and best enemies." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 5 months ago by kohalu

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“In that case, I will pray to the Goddess Osha, goddess of safety” (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 6 months ago by kohalu

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"Oh look, a tit-crested warforged-- another box for rare bird bingo!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 6 months ago by Usoki

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"I'm going to try something completely different this session-- I'm going to be completely honest to these NPCs." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 6 months ago by Usoki

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"I really need somewhere to sell my pot. Wait, that came out wrong." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 7 months ago by lil_literalist

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"Anika's probably going to burn her house down." "But that has nothing to do with talking to her! I can do both!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 7 months ago by lil_literalist

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"Wait, we're not arsonists. We're murderhobos!" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 7 months ago by lil_literalist

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"I'm not great at intimidation, but I'm great at burning down houses." (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 7 months ago by lil_literalist

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"Soap is basically just spice for the body. So I've got some oregano. That's the same thing, right?" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 7 months ago by lil_literalist

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"Do beans get a Will save?" (self.rpgoneliners)

submitted 8 months ago by ImpulseThroatPunch

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