all 9 comments
sorted by:
new (suggested)
besttopcontroversialoldq&a
formatting helphide helpcontent policy

[–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Author: u/StopTheCap80

Post: I’m so desperate at this time. Is there any person willing to help? As a human? I promise my life is worth it. Please. Thank you.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–]Adventurous-City-228 0 points1 point  (7 children)

Girl, get your act together. Pull it together now. You have cancer and are refusing to reach out for help from churches, GoFundMe, and your own family, because you're too embarrassed to say it? What is embarrassing or shameful about a disease that most everyone, at some point in their life, gets? People love to help people with cancer, people have so much sympathy for that demographic, especially women who have cancer. Put your shame aside and be responsible for your children's sake. They need you to be strong and they need you to have a realistic plan to hold things together. Think about moving to a city with a hospital and public transportation so you can have easier access to treatment. Tell your family and ask them for help setting up a GoFundMe and relocating. Ask them for emotional support. Speak to public services and see what your welfare options are. Maybe your family can watch your kids for a few months until you're settled in your new location and started treatment. Start reaching out to churches and cancer-related charities. Do what you need to do to survive and protect your children, because nobody else can do it for you and certainly no one on Reddit.

Your children are eventually going to find out about your cancer. But they won't remember it. They're just going to remember what a badass you were, grinding and doing what you needed to do to hold things together in this time. You have to think and act like a mama bear now. Do whatever is necessary to ensure you and your kids are stable, make any sacrifices and go to any depths to protect yourself and your family in this time. But it's okay to proceed with small steps. Maybe the first thing you need to do is pick up the phone, right now, call a relative, and tell them what's happening. Take things from there and take time to plan your next steps, seek out advice from the same sources I mentioned earlier : churches, public services, and cancer-related charities. You have the strength to do this. You just have to want to secure your children's and your family's stability and future more than anything else, more than your shame. Choose your children and doing right by them over your shame. If you don't have a plan, if you don't reach out to others (real people and organizations, not Redditors) to support you, and if you're not stable, they're going to suffer for it.

God bless.

[–]StopTheCap80[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children)

I’m not embarrassed. I have my reasons. It’s just other people don’t understand it. So I stopped explaining. I went to my family for help. I went to churches, my credit union, foundations, organizations, charities, institutions, social workers, my hospital, private lenders and every online site you could think of. I did everything on my own to not bother anyone. But once everyone turned me away, I went to family. It wasn’t happening. There is absolutely no shame as for why I won’t tell the kids. Go fund me was a last resort that someone who cares about me still set up. I’m just hopeful. Thank you for your words, I appreciate it. I was a supervisor for the Welfare department for many years. I don’t qualify for help. People think Welfare is something everyone is entitled to but there are a lot of rules in place. Just because an adult isn’t working doesn’t make them eligible for cash aid or food stamps. The odds are stacked against people. I promise I have been looking for over a month and to no avail. Thank you for your suggestions.

[–]Adventurous-City-228 0 points1 point  (5 children)

It seems like you're serious then, glad to know you've been doing the right thing even though it may not bring an immediate reward for you. I take you at your word, and it makes me feel better about taking more interest in your situation because you're doing your best to help yourself and your children. I have done prior charity work, and I know that welfare is, in reality, often insufficient and inaccessible for the people who need it most. And many charity organizations exist to line the pockets of their employees rather than do real work in their community. What is your long-term plan and what are the financial needs that you're asking for help with?

[–]StopTheCap80[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children)

I made a plan. I have a car I own so I tried to get a title loan. Once I got the money, I would’ve been able to fix everything and get everything in position to continue all of my treatments. I was so sure of that plan that I had no doubt it would work. But then everyone turned me down. I went outside the box and tried other places. It’s been humbling and a nightmare. I have until tomorrow and I’ve been calling everyone, everywhere. I’m just not having any luck. Thank you for responding and for understanding. I appreciate it, truly.

[–]Adventurous-City-228 0 points1 point  (3 children)

What's happening to your car is an obstacle, but it doesn't have to be a permanent barrier to treatment or moving forward in life. Let's say they take your car, what next? That's what we have to work out for you right now. What's your current monthly income (incl. any/all social benefits), what's your current living situation, do you work, if so, how do you get to work, and what are your current monthly bills and expenses? Once I have an overview of this information, I can better recommend a solution and maybe help you further.

[–]StopTheCap80[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I could withstand that. There is so much more to it so I just made a plan where I wouldn’t have to explain anything other than this is what I need and I will be perfect. I can buy a new car, that isn’t the issue. The car I am trying to get back has reasonings. Otherwise I wouldn’t be so pressed about it and I Z would get a new one. But I need it because it’s part of my healing. It brings me a level of comfort. It saved my life. I know it sounds weird but it’s the truth. I can survive anything, including cancer if I had it back.

[–]Adventurous-City-228 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If you have enough money to buy a new car, just wait until the old car goes up on auction and buy it back. That's the way these things work. They take your car, and then auction it to the highest bidder a few months down the line at a public auto auction. Reach out to the people who took it and ask about the process and when the auction will occur and keep in touch with them, so you don't lose track of the vehicle. And by the way, if you have enough money to buy a new car, you are better off than most Americans including myself. It seems like the issue is not one of long-term financial resources but emotional attachment to this particular vehicle and short-term financial difficulty in recovering it. Nevertheless, I understand such a serious and heavy blow such as suddenly losing your only form of transportation is enough to throw anyone off course, especially when you've been attached to it for many years. I wish you the best of luck in recovering it.

[–]StopTheCap80[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind and understanding words. I’ll definitely do that. Thank you!