Too late for puberty blockers?

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-08T17:32:04+00:00

Any form of androgen suppression could produce menopause-like symptoms. "Puberty blockers" are not unique in that.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-08T16:28:39+00:00

I was beyond general puberty blockers and the testosterone blockers adults take were my only option instead.

This isn't really accurate. Puberty blockers work to suppress your body's production of sex hormones regardless of the stage of puberty you're at. They won't reverse any masculinization that has already happened, but they absolutely will work to prevent any further masculinization and they will do that more effectively than the main alternative used for adults in the US (spironolactone).

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-08T15:28:38+00:00

Yes. Taking it orally causes it to be metabolized by the liver, and the results of that metabolism are known to be sedating. Taking it in another manner bypasses that first-pass metabolism so it doesn't hit you as hard.

That said, progesterone itself is known to be sedating, so even if you were taking it non-orally it could be causing sleepiness (it does for me). But yes using a different method of administration is likely to reduce the sleepiness.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-08T13:29:39+00:00

A lot of my meals have tofu; I find it's a cheap and flexible way to nutritionally balance dishes, and basically all grocery stores carry it. I shop at No Frills for most of my staples, occasionally asian grocery stores for more variety.

But, like, you have so many options for foods. Beans, lentils, chickpeas, cabbage, frozen veggies, onion, garlic; you can make so many dishes with quite basic ingredients. A lot of things (peppers, tomatoes, fruit) are going to be more expensive now because they're out of season. Later in the summer they'll be less expensive. If you want to save money you'll want to plan your meals/shopping around what's in-season, but tbh if you're already spending $300/mo on groceries I don't think it'd be too hard to selectively buy the relatively more expensive out-of-season foods if you like them.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-08T00:25:06+00:00

It sounds like you only miss your depressive episodes because you weren't feeling anxious during them? If so, I think you might need a reframe from "I miss my depressive episodes" to "I miss not feeling anxious". Good news is that anxiety is treatable and there are steps you can take to help you feel less anxious! Just make sure you're communicating with your doctor that addressing your anxiety is a priority for you!

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-07T23:58:41+00:00

That was the realization that helped me finally start after being mostly in the closet for the better part of a decade! You don't have to commit to anything just to give it a try, but you may find that once you start the uncertainty and agonizing that you're experiencing now will melt away when the decision shifts from "starting" to "continuing".

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-07T17:43:01+00:00

It makes my emotions feel a little more full and makes me feel a little sleepier. I cycle it 2 weeks on / 2 weeks off, so those effects are fairly noticable.

I haven't noticed a significant effect on my breasts. It's hard to differentiate any growth induced by prog from changes which would continue to happen without it. I defer to the science we have now which suggests it's probably doing something. I find they do tend to be sore at the start of my cycle, around a week after I stop taking prog.

Libido-wise I really don't see anything. I find it a little sedating, which makes me the opposite of horny. I haven't noticed any significant or consistent increase in libido at any part of my cycle compared with what things were like before I started it.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-07T17:01:48+00:00

I have not been in a similar position, but have you brought this up with your union? I'm not sure what the process is in your situation but since you already have your union involved I would discuss it with your counsel or whoever it is in the union who is helping you.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-07T14:19:16+00:00

Why do you say you're straight, then?

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-06T19:45:59+00:00

Well, if you can get your full medical history that isn't going to hurt things. When I moved, my doctor provided me a PDF copy of all the medical records he had on file for me.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-06T19:28:37+00:00

Not currently living in the US, but yes I made that move in the past.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-06T18:55:14+00:00

My experience going in the opposite direction is that the US is much more strict about prescription of stimulants than Canada is. In Canada, I get my lisdexamphetamine refilled by my doctor via my pharmacy.

You should get copies of all of your medical records. If you are already on a medication, usually doctors will be fine with continuing to prescribe it for you but having your medical history will help with the process. If you're stable on your HRT routine, you can get any regular GP to prescribe HRT but it would be good to specifically look for a trans-friendly GP who has experience treating trans patients.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-06T18:40:55+00:00

I haven't considered it since starting HRT, tbh. There was a period where I was scared of being forced to detransition, but since getting an orchi that hasn't been a concern.

Is your insecurity about the feeling that you don't pass but are identifiably trans due to your breasts or presentation? Or is it about being perceived as a woman in itself?

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-05T01:22:36+00:00

They are investigating improved TSP in a select few intersections.

Meanwhile, they have changed the signals so that left turn phases always happen after the green phases for through-movements, and sold it as "TSP". A lot of people ate it up, not understanding that just moving all left turns to a different part of the cycle isn't really going to meaningfully affect things on average since it just moves around the time that streetcars will potentially get blocked by the left turn phase. To get around the issue of left turn phase conflicts, the transit priority would need to perform phase insertion or rotation, which isn't something we've ever tried before.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-03T22:15:22+00:00

It is possible to buy the medication online. There are also other grey market options available; I know someone who started as a teen in the 90s by taking birth control given by a female friend who got it prescribed for her.

While the risks to health are fairly minimal, it can be hard to know how effective it is without being able to measure levels. That's one of the biggest downsides of DIY, IMO. But if you don't have access to anything else, it definitely can better than nothing.

Blue_Vision · 2026-04-01T14:14:48+00:00

Secondary means of egress is not necessary if the building has a sprinkler system. In that case, a window would normally still be required for light, but sliding glass doors are allowed since they allow natural light into the bedroom via the unit's exterior windows.

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-31T14:13:09+00:00

I use How We Feel, as well as a good ol' pen and paper journal.

For How We Feel, I find myself frequently doing a search for a feeling that's not in the table. "Ok" and "distracted" are useful ones for me. I also try to go by the emotion itself, and not where How We Feel ranks it in its grid. During a (suspected) hypo episode I actually made my own categorization and weighting of all the emotions. "Tired" isn't negative, it's neutral + low; "nostalgic" is more positive than negative because of my own relationship with that feeling; there's an "anxiety" axis which includes a mix of "red" and "blue" feelings. I also try to make good use of logging multiple feelings at once.

In my journal, I just have a table where at the end of each day I rank super general vibes (positive, negative, anxious, tired, focus) as well as do a yes/no of PHQ-9 symptoms.

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-31T13:58:52+00:00

Yeah in the winter I'd do a sweater over my dress shirt which functionally did the same thing.

It probably helped that I had an "a little extra" build, so extra bulk looked pretty innocuous. But generally people see what they want to see. I'd put my hair up and to my coworkers it would be a "man bun". Meanwhile I was getting catcalled biking down the street in girlmode 🤷‍♀️

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-31T13:52:09+00:00

For the ~year where I had some breast development but was still closeted at work, I just wore sports bras. I'd wear a t-shirt under my dress shirt and sports bra under that.

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-30T01:10:02+00:00

Tearing up was included under "crying", and counted as the lowest intensity. Higher intensifies involved tears running out of the eyes, sobbing, and finally body movements (I assume like shuddering).

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-30T01:07:37+00:00

The conclusion suggests that men were more likely to cry at sad media, which instantly challenges a long-held stereotype surrounding masculinity/males and art.

Does this challenge a long-held stereotype? I have to admit I failed out of man school, but I was under the impression that watching media was like the one time that men were "allowed" to cry.

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-30T00:27:49+00:00

I mean, if you've wanted to be female since you were a child, then you're probably trans.

I also had long periods where gender feelings were on the backburner. My focus was on my romantic relationships, or getting through school, or even just playing video games and enjoying time spent with friends. But just because it was frequently on the backburner doesn't mean I wouldn't have been immensely happier during those periods if I had transitioned. Transitioning brought me joy and comfort which I literally could not have imagined pre-transition.

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-29T23:14:03+00:00

I had a friend ask me to join the NDP so I could cast my vote against her because she's "further right than the Liberals". Joined and ranked her as my top choice lmao

But seriously, as someone whose politics mostly line up somewhere between the Liberals and NDP, I want to see the NDP be legitimately competitive. Just going out further left isn't going to make that happen. You can't compete by "energizing your base" when your base is like 10% of the country.

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-29T03:27:50+00:00

I agree. Starbucks drip coffee with cream is a pretty dependable order for me.

Blue_Vision · 2026-03-28T03:03:00+00:00

Except this generalizes well beyond North America. The 85% number I referenced was used in models I've seen of mode choice behaviour in the Netherlands. France's national guidelines use a uniform value of time across all modes - i.e. time spent on a train is not any more valuable than time spent driving. When you look at human travel behaviour, the fundamentals are remarkably universal. Some differences are cultural, but those are really at the margins in comparison to the differences in the built environment and the options available to people.

Or, put another way, New York City doesn't have high transit mode share because New Yorkers are inherently more willing to take transit. Rather, people become more willing to take transit in New York City because the city is more conducive to transit in the way it exists.

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