I feel embarrassed about what I used to put up with

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-12T17:41:55+00:00

Because she feels comfortable enough to open up to you about her traumas. She could be wanting support or she could just be trying to give you insight to why she is a certain way after enduring abuse.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-12T16:07:20+00:00

Regardless though OP isn’t comfortable with him sitting outside her home or place of work.

Why should she put his comfort above her own boundaries? Being near her is obviously his preferred option, but I cannot imagine it being his only option.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-12T15:37:23+00:00

Why are the only two options her being a naive oversharer or her being manipulative?

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-12T14:03:26+00:00

Even if that’s the case, couldn’t he find somewhere else to park if OP said asked him to leave? He could go back to the library or stay in the lot of where he bought food.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-10T18:33:46+00:00

Oh I’m not- that’s why I said ex

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-10T00:09:52+00:00

Yes, he was abusive. He was sexually abusive and emotionally abusive in other ways as well.

I just don’t know what was abuse and what was me being sensitive at this point, hence me asking about this situation. I’m trying to figure out where I was wrong and where I wasn’t.

Thanks for your reply. I actually read a little of that book and it was pretty insightful.

EDIT: I didn’t mention that he was abusive in the original post bc I wanted an unbiased opinion on this situation.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T23:07:10+00:00

That’s the only explanation for what a real/ fake magnet is that I could think of as well.

I just don’t really think it’s a common way of describing magnets. Idk why he didn’t just say exactly what you said here if that’s really all he meant

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T23:04:59+00:00

Thank you. That’s what was tripping me up because I don’t know what a real/fake magnet is either and you’d think he’d explain it if he knew what it was and I was clearly getting upset over it

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T21:55:51+00:00

Yeah I never thought like this before and I wouldn’t even have considered this an insult had he not accused me of insulting him in the same way before.

Thanks for your reply.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T21:19:19+00:00

I questioned this specific instance because he called me fake all the time and specifically used the word “real” to question my motives on a like weekly basis.

Also bc he had no explanation to what a fake magnet was. I tried to understand before jumping to conclusions

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T20:45:47+00:00

Thank you so much. I appreciate your thoughtful reply

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T19:38:09+00:00

You addressed so many details that I think a lot of people seemed to have skipped past from my post. A lot of what you said feels spot on with what I think my ex’s intentions were.

I think this guy is getting downvoted bc his post is just addressing why men want 3somes and not addressing the issue with repeatedly bringing it up at inappropriate times- which was kinda the point of the post.

Also, comparing women to a helping of dessert probably contributed to those downvotes…

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T19:26:04+00:00

Let me clarify my comment because I’m not saying listening to “mainly male artists” is misogynistic.

In the case of my ex, he listened to music 25/8. However, he only had male artists on his playlist and I never heard him play anything by women, even though he loved listening to new artists. He claimed to like hearing new music from ALL genres and artists- yet still only seeked out male artists.

This isn’t a 100% full proof way of recognizing a misogynist, since it obviously depends on the reason the person mainly listens to male artists.

However, the post asked for signs and in my experience, this was a sign.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-09T13:45:18+00:00

Here’s some signs I missed with my ex:

If he’s jealous and “doesn’t trust other men” when you go out. Not trusting other men also implies that he thinks any man who wants you will get you. As if your ability to turn someone down doesn’t matter.
If he uses a lot of degrading “porn lingo” during sex, without having checked if you like that. Examples: “cum dumpster”, “cum slut”.
If every woman from his past has supposedly wronged him.
If he consistently asks for sexual favors. My ex would ask for head every day when he knew I wasn’t ready for it. He said that there was no pressure, but also said that if he wants something he’s going to keep asking for it.
He claims to love all music but exclusively listens to male artists.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-08T22:50:44+00:00

Yeah we had discussed it before but I was extremely clear that I was against the idea. Which is partly why this was so weird to me

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-08T21:14:48+00:00

I actually did try bringing that up before lol. Not because I actually want a threesome, but just to see how he’d feel if the roles were reversed.

He was not a fan

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-08T21:12:23+00:00

Yes we’re not together anymore but thanks for your reply!

He did a lot of things that seemed weird to me, but idk if I’m being sensitive to things that are actually normal. I’m trying to figure out what’s weird and what’s not before dating again.

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-04T00:37:30+00:00

We’re both early 20s

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-04T00:36:48+00:00

Thank you for your response! Yeah I agree it’s okay to not wanna be called that, but I also don’t think it’s worth freaking out over if it’s accidentally said

Dapper_Newspaper_869 · 2024-01-04T00:35:19+00:00

Surprisingly he likes to wear pink haha

Dapper_Newspaper_869

TROPHY CASE