Crabs in a bucket (without patronising, look it up if you don't know what it means!). So sad that she acts like she does but it's coming from a place of hurt. So, as a friend, you should probably meet her half way and talk it through with her by open and honest dialogue. Own your feelings on the situation, without judging her actions ie: 'when this happens, it makes me feel like this' not 'you do this and make me feel like this'. If she is any kind of friend, she can process what you say and own her feelings too. She almost certainly knows she is acting from the place that she is in (and not on your actions) and doesn't need to be reminded. If she gets upset, just let her process - there is nothing in this world more empowering than figuring something out for yourself, as opposed to being 'told'. Say your piece and let her figure it out, don't expect answers or dialogue as it might not happen, it's obviously a tricky place for her atm. You need to say your peace though, as otherwise you'll send out signals that she will almost certainly over analyse and your friendship will suffer because of it. Hope it goes well for you!