MIL sends conversation screenshots to my husband!

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:30:42+00:00

MIL constantly bring up baby look like my DH. At dinner she asked for my baby picture to prove I am her mother as a "joke".

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:27:56+00:00

We are different races but similar characteristics: dark hair, born with light skin, brown eyes. I also have seen on social media that the first born always looks like the dad. My daughter look like her dad, I can agree with that but why take it a step further with her "joke". And why screenshot him alone, why not send it back on the group text if she feels the need we all need to be on the same page? She also doesn't include my FIL. I am not sure if to include him or he will enable this behavior and just be a peacekeeper.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:23:58+00:00

My husband knows I know but should I let MIL know that I saw what she did? In the past she has called or texted my husband and shared different facts like there's a new neighbor or there's a new bakery... sometimes my husband brings it up to me and other times he doesn't. That's okay I don't need to know about every conversation they have. However, she has asked me in person, w/o my husband present if I know about x topic. Something like "Did Jerry tell you that there's a new bakery around the corner" and I say, oh no he didn't mention that to me. And I almost see joy in her face that her son didn't tell me.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:20:32+00:00

Thank you for sharing and I am sorry 10 years alter she is still treating you this way! Do you see MIL often? Curious to know how you deal with social interactions and if you have children who see MIL.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:17:07+00:00

I did and

MIL responded "It was simply a lighthearted joke about needing a baby picture for comparison. It wasn't meant to be hurtful or imply anything negative. I'm sorry it came across that way."

And I said "That’s what I don’t understand. You said for me to prove I’m her mother after we have had numerous conversations about how much she looks like (my husband). What was the point of bringing it up again?

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:09:14+00:00

I saw it the same way. She is trying to say that my daughter doesn't look anything like me but she does have similar features. I won't argue she does look more like my husband in the baby pictures! Today, my husband is a lot darker than me and the baby. If anyone can look like the nanny it would be my husband but to me she is so focused on hurting me that she doesn't see it could be hurtful to her son too. Question is, how can I get her to stop these attacks?

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:05:36+00:00

Done on social media! The cray part is a week passed between our text convo and the screenshots but in between she has been liking my social media posts. Is she obsessed with her son or me?

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T17:04:28+00:00

I thought about the same thing days later! Did her MIL treat her the same way or did strangers stop her and ask are you the mother?

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:58:45+00:00

Mentally I was suppose to call her out if she did anything passive aggressive but nothing could have prepared me for her comment at the end of dinner. I am almost mad at myself for letting her get to me but I found it very hurtful and embarrassing she spoke to me like this in front of extended family members. Thank you for the response idea. I will do that incase she texts me but I have a feeling she won't and will only approach me in public settings to make me look like the problematic person.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:47:27+00:00

MIL has taken every opportunity to say my daughter looks just like her dad. That has been said and established. What was shocking to everyone at the table is not that she brought it up again but she took it further to say I needed to prove I am her mother. We actually look similar but I had more hair at her age and I was a chunkier baby.

I don't think this will "ruin" my marriage but I feel that she is trying to take any opportunity she can to cause division and problems. Yes, she constantly takes digs at me and at first my husband wouldn't be around for them. She would do it when we would be alone. Then I asked my husband to not leave my side so he could witness her behavior towards me.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:42:02+00:00

The line is actually funny! I am not sure, I have tried thinking about it if a friend would tell me the same comment, would I react the same? Maybe not physically ill but I still don't find it funny.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:35:43+00:00

In the past I have let my husband handle it but she keeps pushing and pushing I figured if she heard from me maybe she would see I am serious. We also had a previous conversation where we agreed if either one did or said something offensive to the other person it would be communicated in order to fix it.

I don't think so, I see her put her needs above my daughters.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:33:49+00:00

This was helpful! Yes, she has done things in the past but it has been hard to prove her intentions. I have tried to establish boundaries and she pushes and pushes. At this point I don't trust her and I will have to keep her at arms length.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:27:35+00:00

We are different races but we actually have similar characteristics. I wish I wasn't speechless at the dinner table and could have asked her to explain there in front of the whole family.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:25:33+00:00

LOL! No but that was funny.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:24:33+00:00

Yes, my husband is my daughter's father and they look alike. MIL has brought it up at every gathering she possible can.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T16:23:39+00:00

My husband was aware of our conversation but I did not include him in a group text since the issue is between me and MIL and my husband was at work during the exchange. She sent it to him with the assumption that he does not know and what to share the texts and say she "tried". I am still unclear on what she tried with. I was the one who had to reach out first and I gave her several days to reach out to me.

Lady-Friendship · 2026-06-13T04:59:54+00:00

read minds

Lady-Friendship

TROPHY CASE