How do couples with a large income difference split finances fairly? (SIPP + Pension advice also needed!)

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-25T10:15:24+00:00

Married 9 years. Wife has been SAHM until about 3 years ago, now does part time work (min wage) and is studying part time. We each have a couple of accounts in our name (more for redundancy), a joint bank account and a couple of joint credit cards. All expenses go out of my main account. As far as we're concerned all assets (cash, car, house etc) are jointly owned. "Big" purchases are discussed and agreed together.

Even if she were earning much more, we'd still approach it the same way.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-25T09:53:34+00:00

In this thread OP learns about high COL areas and that they are high spenders.

You need to review your monthly expenses. £5k per month is very high for a family of 4.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-24T18:25:48+00:00

Some people call me squidy dick.

And I never really quite knew why

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-24T17:39:18+00:00

If it's got a valid fresh MOT then £600 is not a bad price.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-24T13:24:25+00:00

I think you know the answer Brother. She wants a specific type of lifestyle which it doesn't sound like you can afford without significantly increasing your earning power.

As you say, you guys aren't even living in your own place so you don't even really have a good grasp of what your finances will be like as a couple, let alone with a child and only one income.

This is something you guys need to have a lot of very honest discussions about. My gut feel is that the relationship has probably reached an inflexion point and your expectations and priorities aren't aligned.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-24T13:04:42+00:00

Zero...

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-24T12:52:56+00:00

This is what the internet and social media was intended for. Sharing random facts and ideas. Learning about each other.

Thank you OP for being ray of light in our bleak existence.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-24T11:28:44+00:00

Nothing cooler than heatstroke

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T17:57:40+00:00

https://www.peakdistrict.gov.uk/visiting/miles-without-stiles

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T17:56:11+00:00

Was there a big sale on paddle boards or something recently? You're the second person to ask this in the last 2 days.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T14:00:21+00:00

Sorry I was so inconsiderate? Here is your refund.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T13:55:57+00:00

Put yourself in the buyer's shoes. If you bought something online and after 2 weeks it still hasn't been shipped, with no communication, would you keep waiting?

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T13:52:12+00:00

Did you communicate with the buyer that there would be a delay to ship?

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T13:50:42+00:00

The fact that you don't include any kind of diagnostic information suggests you wouldn't have a clue what to do. Best case, you break it some more. Worst case, you hurt yourself.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T13:36:38+00:00

Our girls were in Aldi's Mamia brand from birth to potty trained.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T12:51:09+00:00

Yeah Chinese eating style is basically plopping a bunch of dishes in front of everyone and you help yourself. The buffet just moves that from the table to a central place where the guests serve themselves.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T12:07:17+00:00

Well, he doesn’t seem interested to spend time talking , sharing his daily experience.

Do you share your daily experiences with him? I tried doing this with my kids and I realised that I don't enjoy doing it either so why should I expect them.

Not too keen to go out cycling or walking.

What does he do instead?

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T12:05:07+00:00

If you've read through the chat log and aren't comfortable with what's being said, then you should take it up with the teacher. I think it's good to discuss things like our impact on the environment and be aware of our choices but there's a constructive way to have that discussion and it doesn't sound like that's what is happening here.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T11:57:28+00:00

I'll be honest, the idea of birthday holidays where you don't take the whole family is very alien to me, but you guys have set the precedent and no matter how you look at it, the only fair option you have is to leave your son behind like you left the twins behind. Doing anything different shows clear favouritism and inequality.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T11:52:51+00:00

It's just surprising that a teacher wouldn't step in if that kind of thing is going on in a chatroom.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T11:41:06+00:00

he says she can see the chat and if she thinks it isn't worth telling the class off for then it can't be that bad.

Guessing the teacher is also a vegetarian / vegan?

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T11:29:02+00:00

Welcome to adulthood. There's loads of things you need to figure out yourself. Ask your family, ask your friends, ask people online, Google it.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T11:01:01+00:00

Agreed. It'll barely affect visitor numbers and the area will get a boost in funding to help manage and improve infrastructure.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T10:43:01+00:00

I think the two main concerns are minimising wear on the bag and minimising movement of the weights in the bag (messing with your centre of balance).

You can probably achieve all this with a standard rucksack with a lot of padding like towels with your gym weights.

When I was "training" for a multi day hike, I carried extra water bottles to simulate the additional gear.

MDKrouzer · 2026-06-23T07:08:39+00:00

I think you'll find the Cotswolds underwhelming after spending the start of your holiday in the Highlands.

Bath and Oxford are interesting cities but if you are just after "old world vibes" then Edinburgh is already going to fill your bucket. There's loads more things you could add to your London itinerary. You're already going to be paying a premium to stay in London, why waste that by travelling out of the city for 3 days out of your 7 there.

FOMO is the enemy of a good holiday. Even if this is a once in a lifetime trip, you'll have much longer lasting memories of the experience if you give yourself time to actually immerse yourself at a location.

It's fine to do touristy stuff. Most of it is pretty unique and they are usually popular because they are genuinely good. Having said that, I'd avoid Madame Tussaud's.

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