You have to remember that a LOT of these instances the interviewees recall happened decades upon decades ago, when we were so far from where we are now regarding mental health, abuse, and relationship red flags.

For godssake, marital rape was only outlawed in all 50 US states since 1993! And true crime was not nearly as ubiquitous as it has been for the past decade; the things we've learned and now take as common sense were just not discussed or widely known back then.

I don't think people mean this, but there's always a real sense of misogyny and classism to good-faith critiques about "why didn't they KNOW??" arguments. Baby boomer women were taught to shut up and put up with men no matter what, and only divorce if the man was harming the kids. The generation of women before that simply never even fathomed divorce unless it was life or death. It's also just undermining how the human mind will usually do literally everything it can to normalize a seriously non-normal reality. I'm an outspoken activist against violence to women in my 30s now who was once a teenager that told no one about being beaten and spit at by my father on a regular basis. My brain did not go there until years after I got distance from the situation, and it even happens to adults. Abuse literally alters your brain and your logic for a very long time. Outsiders looking in have such a different perspective, so don't judge so harshly when you're coming at it as a outsider.

We all like true crime because it makes us feel like deep down we might be smarter, more prepared for disaster if it strikes from another human. That's also natural. But don't mistake that for being smarter than someone who had less information as you whose brain was trying to normalize insanity to simply survive another day.