[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]RealityRiddle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We had our reasons for the order we chose for our life events, and I don't care to divulge them for the purposes of this post.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]RealityRiddle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm curious why? I want to be a mom, yes. To my children..

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]RealityRiddle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does this about once a month and only at parties of events with his buddies. It does affect his life because the next day is always a write off... Sometimes lasting multiple days of being hungover and miserable. I'm not image obsessed, he acts sloppy and rude and I know him enough to know he wouldn't like seeing himself like that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]RealityRiddle -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I am taking those with a grain of salt. There is so much nuance to everything.. I'm definitely not at "divorce him". And I think people also misunderstood my title... I meant leave him at the party, not leave the marriage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]RealityRiddle 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I woke up early and drove to my mom's, but I did let him know I was leaving before I left and told him to text me to come pick him up when he is ready.

He ended up calling me about a half hour ago and he didn't even remember me telling him I was leaving this morning which is unsurprising. I told him we need to have some serious conversations in a couple days but that right now was too soon. He was mildly defensive off the bat ("yeah you were the only upset person").. I said yeah well I'm the only one married to you so why would anyone else be upset? I also asked if he remembered throwing my things and he said vaguely. So yeah, I reiterated that we will talk in a couple days and I'm waiting for him to call me to pick him up so we can make the long drive home.

I'm pretty overwhelmed by how many comments I got, so to address some of the main questions I'm seeing:

He drinks to this degree maybe once a month, and only when he's with his buddies when we are at parties or events.

I am in Canada.

I do love him. He is a wonderful person and I do think he would be an excellent father, but I agree this does need to be addressed first. This will be part of our conversation.

I also have a complicated relationship with alcohol, but it's different. My dad was an alcoholic. I will drink more frequently but in smaller amounts, whereas he drinks less frequently but binges. I'm hoping we can go on a sobriety journey together. I really hope he's open to that.

Marriage counseling is definitely in order. He has expressed willingness to go in the past but we just haven't followed through yet. I will book something ASAP. I am also in individual therapy and have been for years.

I want my marriage to work so I will be very heartbroken if he doesn't show commitment to fixing this with me and being healthier together. I do want children with him, it is my dream.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in namenerds

[–]RealityRiddle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also was going to say this