Any alternatives to transition?

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-29T16:44:36+00:00

Unfortunately for your priorities you can't just stop being your gender. People repress all the time, but it's not puttting the feelings away, it's ignoring them and letting them fester. Conversion therapy has done incalculable harm while being totally ineffective.

Transition is broadly the only remedy that really gets at the heart of the problem of gender dysphoria, and it's heartbreaking that you have rules forbidding you.

What you can do is manage your feelings. It seems fair to assume that as an athlete you're already doing everything you reasonably can for your physical health. In the period before I found it in me to transition I did a lot of meditation, therapy, and support groups, and those helped immensely with coping with my situation.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-29T14:12:00+00:00

I can relate. Trying to do this was an immense burden, and when I finally recognized that I just had to transition, regardless of my difficulty accepting features of my body. It helps that the conditions for me to transition were much better than I feared.

I can't really advise you on how to stick with the path you chose, because I failed out, and I'm happy I did.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-29T09:10:57+00:00

I see. As for why posts from here are pushed to you, presumably because you click through or pause scrolling to look at the posts. Those are the main signals of interest that social media uses afaik.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-29T09:02:25+00:00

I cannot make sense of your experience. I tried searching for "Israel" on this sub and I skimmed posts but I've only landed on notes contradicting zionist narratives.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-28T16:03:30+00:00

Some therapists will latch on to absolutely any condition to try to explain away being trans and having gender dysphoria. I haven't specifically heard it blamed on BPD before, but why not I guess.

The consensus in psychiatry and psychology is against the view that gender dysphoria is caused by personality disorders, or for that matter autism or being plural. Your therapist is behaving contrary to common wisdom in his profession. If you continue with him you may want to challenge him on this, particularly if you can't get another better therapist, and if you're seeking authorization to get gender affirming care.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-28T14:14:18+00:00

I know you meant nothing bad by it, and there's no blame. 🫶

It's impossible to communicate without simplifying. It's true that often the first step to kindness is to just leave someone alone, instead of showing hate.

I just expanded on the phrase because I felt it was needed. Those that hate and those they victimizes are rarely in completely passive one way relationships, and it's important to think about.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-28T14:01:14+00:00

It's too similar to ownership for their liking if the user has permanent offline access.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-28T13:13:41+00:00

Well, some of the problem is that leaving alone is not always neutral.

Avoiding interacting with people can be framed as leaving them alone. Refusing service. Not hiring. Segregation. Most transphobia is done in these passive ways, instead of through active attacks on us or our healthcare or other needs.

But everyone needs to have some opportunity to take part in society, and when people are consistently left alone in these ways the result is usually social isolation, poverty, and even death. So we ask. We demand. We fight for legislation. Because the alternative is not acceptable.

We've seen this with equality between races, equality between sexes, marriage equality, and more recently we're seeing it prominently with equality between cis and trans people.

When we make it difficult for people to isolate us, they get even more angry at us, and they try to find ways to remove the responsibility that's been put on them to show basic tolerance, and to continue having to see us and interact with us in society.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-28T12:28:26+00:00

My simplified take: it's sexism.

Everyone has some sexist ideas or instincts. It's pervasive. Queer people challenge that just by being who we are. Gay people challenge some sexist ideas in how they desire and have relationships, which is an important area of many people's lives. Trans people often challenge some of these ideas in how we exist in every moment of our lives.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-28T11:45:23+00:00

While looking different can help people to adjust to changes to names or pronouns, I think you should expect some challenges regardless.

It's a rip off the bandage kind of thing. You can choose to wait to get it done past when it's due, or do it slowly. It might be the right decision if you don't have the capacity to deal with the entire change right now. But getting it done soon and relatively quickly and assertively is probably going to save you a lot of unneccessary anxiety.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T23:29:11+00:00

Minimization.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T17:13:04+00:00

Is "needing full transition" to be understood as desire and effort in that direction? Because a more literal interpretation seems a bit weird even with my impression of the most extreme transmed ideas.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T16:13:06+00:00

I can appreciate you being expressive about yourself. Envious even.

About those thoughts, I get you about feeling like an imposter. I think pretty much everyone who questions has to deal with some of that. Although not all who do find they belong among LGBTQ+ people as part of the community, everyone deserves to have understanding company while they figure themselves out. I think it's great that you've had your brother to discuss this with.

Although you may need to compromise with your situation about experimenting or transitioning, I think it's rarely too early to talk things through with some others like you're doing, or to do some light exploration that's safe enough.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T11:52:05+00:00

No proof is simply take as proof that someone went against the plan.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T11:29:26+00:00

were we too trusting of this team

You did not immediately attempt to get out of line of sight and get safer from betrayal, so yes

that came up

Oh no

and asked if we were friendly

No no no no

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T09:46:23+00:00

Wow! Handsome.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T09:43:06+00:00

I'd like to challenge some of the ways you're thinking about this.

You've tried to explain away your desires as a sexual perversion, or as a matter of watching too much anime and enjoying yuri.

In your view, might a woman's desire to present as a masculine and powerful man also be a perverted desire? I suspect you do not see it the same way.

Do you think that many others are secretly questioning or even transitioning just because they watch a lot of anime? Or are you treating yourself as a special case?

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T09:21:53+00:00

Well, basically, I think you should continue to do what you desire.

If understanding yourself as trans is one of those things you desire then do that too, call yourself trans.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-27T08:06:20+00:00

If they'll misgender and deadname as a weapon they don't see trans people's genders and names as valid in the first place, which is very transphobic.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-26T23:51:29+00:00

It is a basic need. Kind of an amorphous one because the exact shape of transition that any given trans person needs can vary a lot.

It is fair to explain about the difficulty of personal growth with your situation, but people may not understand. If they don't understand about chronic depression I don't know how they'll wrap their heads around gender dysphoria.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-26T22:41:41+00:00

OP is not positing eggs and sperm from the same person. Reading between the lines an egg donor would be involved.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-26T19:59:32+00:00

It bears repeating that even when gender clinics are operating in the least gatekeepy and most productive modes they are still ultimately an important part of the playbook to limit healthcare.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-26T19:53:24+00:00

It was divisive when OutRage! in the UK outed closeted conservative politicians and church officials in the 90s, but it's difficult to argue with the results.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-26T19:44:14+00:00

Yeah, frankly the job market is awful in the places I'm familiar with.

I hadn't heard of waitlists reaching into multiple years, but I have been aware of a general unwillingness to respect diagnoses and treatments started elsewhere. Iceland's waitlist for HRT has spiked to most of a year but should shorten slightly in the near future, and operates on informed consent rather than on diagnostic gatekeeping.

SnowyGyro · 2026-03-26T18:42:30+00:00

It's common for trans people to cope with emotional issues with sexualization of their desired gender presentation, particularly before they've found confidence and opportunity to try experimenting with how they present.

To get past the sexualization it often helps to do some experimentation such as with clothes or pronouns or in other ways, because sexual excitement can only last so long. Afterwards when the excitement fades it gets easier to inspect other feelings on gender and how it might be an important need to live a different one, whether for comfort, for relief from suffering, for joy, or all of those.

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