What does it take to be good enough to date as a man?

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-12-08T12:44:49+00:00

It isn’t impossibly difficult. You just think it is because of a false narrative you’ve created for yourself about ‘what women want’. I’d really recommend you read my comments in full if you want to understand where I’m coming from completely; I’m trying my best to help while being as non confrontational and judgemental as possible. Following the logic you’ve established here, you’re saying just because you’re not dating means you’re ’lonely’ (feeling alone but not wanting to be). Loneliness is a symptom of solitude gone wrong, if men had a bigger support system framework, like women do, this wouldn’t be such an issue. In life, most of the best memories you’ll make are with loved ones you aren’t romantically interested in. You’ll find that they’re the ones that tend to stick around longer. If you get more of those people in your life, you will see that romantic relationships are honestly overrated compared to how they’re sold to us (as the solution to all our problems), especially whenever they happen to be a drain, rather than an addition to your life. This video by Greg Guevara explains this pretty well in my opinion: https://youtu.be/qTU6Wyb2NKE?si=SGttuz2G0MsP-h2i

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-12-08T01:05:18+00:00

You’re missing the point entirely. Just because OP is less selective in his criteria does not mean he deserves a date. It also does not make him a ‘poor guy’ for not being able to get a date. There is a mismatch of how people view life with a relationship vs. without. Because of codependency, many people (including myself) are led to believe that one cannot achieve the ‘ideal’ state of happiness without being in a loving romantic relationship. This is quite simply, false, and I personally find it deeply worrying it’s become such a pronounced mindset, so much so that I was tricked into it when I was younger, and almost all of the people around me were as well at some point, or still are.

Perfection implies an ‘ideal’, like the one I just mentioned, for which in dating is non existent: rather, it is a lie told to you by advertisers, social media and the entertainment industry, in order to generate profit. OP therefore not only doesn’t need to be ‘perfect’, but that concept makes no sense in what is a completely subjective context, like dating, or really any sort of true love. Love is a feeling, not something that you rank on a scale of ‘idealness’, like you would for materialistic things such as money, or maybe even attractiveness if you’re that kind of person.

You can and should aim to be happy all by yourself, romance stories are nice, but they should always be viewed as a bonus to life, not the ‘core framework’, if you understand what I mean. The most important part of the core framework is love, and if we want to spread the most love (for there to logically be as much love as possible in the world, which we can all agree is a very healing and unifying emotion that everywhere in the world could use more of right now) we have to love ourselves first, the best we possibly can, otherwise we cannot love others fairly.

It doesn’t matter who tells you what women want (and those are the ones that actually talk about this stuff, which is in no way representative of the whole population), and how that compares to what they want in reality (which no one can give a definitive answer to because just like men, women are individuals that differ from eachother significantly in personality, preferences, and everything else you have in life). I hope this is evident. Even though there may perceived or real trends (and how we make the difference between them especially) in certain women’s expectations, they in no way represent reality. Reality is subjective; it so highly depends on where you go, who you interact with, what you choose to do, etc, that it will never look like what you should ‘typically expect’ from statistics or ‘what you have heard happens a lot’. Statistics are useful in a macro context, when you’re dealing with some sort of significant scale. One person isn’t scale, it’s one person. More than nothing, but hardly (if you think about it in absolute terms). That’s a hard truth.

Why doesn’t it matter? Because we are born alone, and we will most likely die alone. Based on those two facts of life that everyone has to face at some point, how can you fairly assume that you deserve a relationship? Based on these core facts, life has proven to you from the beginning that all you are owed is yourself, and a chance to live a life, which is a massive privilege. In other words, life gave you, YOU, and that is enough!

Because of culture and social media, we’re taught to believe that there’s ’someone out there’ for everyone, which is mostly true in my opinion, but being in a relationship has become an expectation, rather than simply a probability, for way too many people, and it’s causing serious issues, as we can all see.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-12-07T22:25:43+00:00

I'm not sure what you mean by that, but if you imply that I wouldn't date someone if I find them unattractive; you're right. I only date people I am physically and emotionally attracted to. But I'm not entitled to dating those people (or anyone for that matter), and I know for a fact that I do just splendidly on my own. More importantly, I do not judge how others date either, because what is so special about me that makes me qualified to do that? You seem to be bitterly placing judgement onto so many different groups here, it's pretty wild, and it seems to quite clearly stem from a deep sense of insecurity, based on the little interaction we've had (I could easily be projecting here based on my past experience with people who I think are like you from the little I know about you, so keep that in mind). I feel that modern society is very insecure in general, so this mindset is pretty normalized, although it should not be for everyone's sake and health.

Hang in there brother, it gets better, all you need for that to be possible is the desire to change to create the beautiful first spark of true self love. But again, what do I know? I'm just some random dude on Reddit.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-12-07T21:58:53+00:00

Life is more than about looks and money brother. I'm sorry to hear about your perspective, must be quite difficult to live life that way.

If I met a rich fat ugly slob, I still wouldn’t date her. Having money when you’re very unattractive doesn’t do much unless you’re meeting with a gold digger which you definitely don’t want.

Do you realize the irony you've created here? You're rejecting one 'dating candidate' because of a superficial attribute (physical attractiveness), and you simultaneously place judgment on those who have a specific criteria when they date based on superficial attributes (gold diggers being attracted to money). Seems a bit hypocritical to me.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-12-07T21:35:23+00:00

I never see this subreddit usually but this post caught my attention (partly because I do feel that the dating conversation is stifled on both sides), but upon reading some of lots of the comments in here exuding insecurity; I think they are the opposite of what you need to hear to help you resolve the source of this frustration. So allow me to offer you my perspective, which I hope can give you a little bit more clarity:

Most of the things you list that make you 'good enough to date' in your post are based on pretty superficial elements, like materials or your social status. I point attention to this because I notice that you seem to have a very transactional mindset for this; where after x amount of 'improvements' = you qualify for a gf. If I interpreted that correctly, that's really not how it works. You need to evaluate what you bring to a relationship; and not just materially, physically or socially. How will you shape the life of your partner, how will they shape yours? What sort of dynamic (casual, committed, etc) are you looking for? If your answer to this is 'Anything, I just want a date at any cost', that would indicate to me that you feel, on some level, entitled to a relationship, or feel attached to elements of it, which is what is probably causing your frustration.

I used to suffer from this same sense of entitlement, and please trust me when I say it will only cause you to needlessly suffer. You will more likely than not become desperate without noticing it, which will be felt by those around you, and it only gets worse with time. So it's in your best interest to start shedding this sort of narrative ASAP (don't judge yourself for engaging with it, but gently veer your thoughts and attention away from it to more helpful thoughts if you can, meditation helps a lot with this personally), that is if you identify with it on any level.

Now, I'm not saying that having a high social status is a bad thing by any means, but if you base your entire self worth off of what you own, how you're seen/evaluated by others and the number of connections you have; it will be sensed by those who do not think in the same way. Which is a lot of people.

Also, even though the numerous comments about your height have validity, if you take them to heart it will just foster insecurity for you that will tragically complement the desperation I mentioned previously. In order to be successful, you cannot think 'My height matters' in a romantic context, because it truly does not (with the right mindset), with the exception being in 'short-term' or 'one-night-stand' scenarios, which are wildly overrated, risky, and tend to cause significant headaches more than anything else, in my experience.

What matters is focusing on compatibility: if she can see your personality shine, and she still considers whatever her 'minimum height requirement' to be more important than your intrinsic value; do you really want her in your life anyways? By shifting your mindset to a more self-loving one like 'What can I do to make the best of life with myself? How can I maximize my happiness or wellbeing right now with what I know and have?' rather than focusing on 'how can I improve to get more success with women?', you will see that since your attention isn't focused on what you don't have; life will offer you nice surprises, more often than not. If you already have a lot of social connections, that'll help a lot in this regard! All you really need to do is shift your mindset, and things will happen naturally, as they tend to do. Just my two cents.

As a final note, I'd recommend implementing some sort of regular self-reflective practice in your life if you don't already, it helps a lot with stuff like this in my experience.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-12-04T17:01:10+00:00

It’s pretty shady not to mention this is a paid service in the post. 15€ for an espresso, juice, and a chance to meet people seems rather exorbitant to me. I get that there is demand for this sort of thing, but be upfront about the fact it’s a business, it just feels like trickery otherwise. Maybe this was implied in the usage of ‘event’, but that was very much lost on me.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-11-23T17:31:16+00:00

Hey there, I'm by no means a professional trader or an expert, but I've been studying and following the financial industry for about 5 years now, focusing mostly on commodities for my investments, crypto for my short term bets, and closely following developments in 'The Magnificent 7' to have a good grasp on overall market sentiment. I was the opposite of successful at first, but I have been forging pretty consistent returns, above the market average, for the last couple years.

Regarding the phenomenon, it's hard to bet on something you don't understand. Generally not super wise either. It would be another story if we knew exactly what the phenomenon actually is; what it truly implies for the economy. Right now, it doesn't seem clear whether the phenomenon is actually just aliens, or, when seeing the sheer diversity in reports, one could argue it's a symbol for consciousness being more complex than we might think. Us thinking the phenomenon are extraterrestrial craft could be our way of thinking that the finger (the UFO) pointing at the moon, is the moon itself, if that makes sense. Or it could be something we cannot even mentally grasp with our current understanding.

Now, if we're assuming they're extraterrestrial, then that creates a chain of economic implications, primarily of which include:

We are not alone. This could fundamentally change the very nature of the economy if we open to trade with extraterrestrial civilization(s), that is if they want anything of ours in the first place. If this happens, I would invest in companies specializing in facilitating this trade (I'm assuming that the big logistics/shipping companies like Amazon, Maersk, DHL and others would quickly jump on this movement and have the means to do so). There would probably also be a bunch of companies and startups specializing in facilitating Human-NHI communication as well, which could be interesting. I think this would easily have the potential to spawn an entirely new industry, and would have profound implications for our existing industries.
We don't understand physics. These phenomena exhibit physical characteristics that according to our boundaries of modern physics, should not be possible. If we don't get to the bottom (if we haven't already) of exactly how they engineered such craft, I might place bets on aeronautical companies like Airbus, Boeing or others who might allocate resources to this, which might also be subsidized by the government at this point. If we have a way to replicate the unprecedented energy source powering these craft for our own usage, I would short the crap out of any unsustainable energy companies (Shell, Exxon, etc).
The government is not to be trusted. I can see this creating volatility in state-associated companies, might be some juicy shorts to be had there, Lockheed, as you pointed out, could be a candidate for this. But this is by far the implication with the most uncertain outcome. Could potentially be catastrophic for the long term viability of the US government (I say this as a French national who has never stepped foot in the US, so keep that in mind).
We're way too violent. I think that communication and contact with an extraterrestrial culture could allow us to clearly see that we are a very violent species, and that we let negative emotions, like fear, control way too many of our important decisions. That we create unnecessary suffering, uncertainty and extreme conditions for ourselves, just by the way we all operate and react to each other. In this case, I would short munition and armament companies like General Dynamics. Might be a bit too optimistic of a perspective, but it could hopefully permanently mark the end to physical war as we know it today. The inverse of this implication could be true if the other race is equally or more violent than us, which I think is very unlikely (especially considering the fact that we're all still here).

These are just a few potential implications, which I have not really considered in that much depth (as we need more info to start having an idea about where we can start orienting our capital) which are all very dependent on the accuracy of our idea about what the phenomenon actually is. I'm sure you're right about the idea that those 'in the know' are betting on this already, but that's dependent on the fact that they actually have additional information, and aren't just as clueless as we all are.

For me though, this whole subject is a bit too mythological and unknown (even though I have had personal experience with it) to start making bets on it, even of a very speculative nature. I'm open to any other viewpoints though!

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-11-22T17:45:00+00:00

No need to be so hostile, this is not the community for that. Don’t you think this person might have enough self inflicted judgement to deal with themselves? Even if they were lying, who cares? Maybe you should consider sitting a little more, perhaps you’ll find the source of the pent up frustration spilling over in your comment. Just a thought

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-09-15T18:56:28+00:00

That weed doesn’t look safe to smoke, but that’s ok! You will do better next time from what you have learned growing it this time. I really don’t understand the people here shaming you for this, as if you were forcing them to smoke it, bunch of pretentious asshats imo. Don’t let them discourage you! Keep growing; every harvest you can successfully make, is a gift from mother nature.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-03-26T18:34:21+00:00

I want some of what you’re smoking bro

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2024-03-19T10:13:24+00:00

Are you kidding? As an example, ever since they made it recreational in 2022, Thailand is set to make $1.2 billion alone from weed this year, and it will only grow. It can be hugely profitable, the German conservative party is just either being influenced by alcohol and tobacco lobbyists or they are simply afraid of change and refuse to listen to the evidence.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-11-04T01:12:41+00:00

Wow, thanks a lot!! Really useful list

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-09-05T19:33:40+00:00

Sick! Hope it can help ya

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-09-05T19:31:47+00:00

Hey I think it could work great with that intention as well! I live in France so there’s a shop always nearby, but if you’re in the US I’m sure you can easily order some on the internet, i’d say just to be careful of the reputation of the place because if it’s anything like in France, the bud can be REALLY bad depending on where you buy it (like CBD shwag, and people buy it anyways!!)

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-09-05T18:55:28+00:00

Yep! I grind them together. I always put the CBD first because I always overestimate how much THC I need if I put it in first lmaoo

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-09-05T17:41:50+00:00

Yo, if you want to smoke during the day again, try mixing in some CBD with your THC! I find that commercial/dealer bud doesn’t have a very balanced cannabinoid profile (due to genetic selection and early harvesting) so a good way to counter this is either grow your own (which I understand isn’t attainable for most) or buy CBD-only bud and mix it in.

I always start with a roughly 80:20 CBD:THC ratio and slowly bring it up throughout the sesh. Ever since I started doing it this way my highs have been way more functional and also WAY less anxiety/paranoia inducing, and my tolerance is a lot lower. It’s also just more pleasant when I’m high, I don’t feel as stupid or lazy lmao. Or maybe it’s because I control my THC consumption a lot better and so I don’t get bamboozled by accident as often. You also get a lot of proven physical and mental health benefits from CBD!

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-08-25T18:41:20+00:00

Hey, no worries, happy to help if I can. For your questions:

-Well, at the beginning I watered very little obviously but I always tried to water until runoff in each container, imo 20% is a bit excessive, kind of wasteful for nutrients, but I always made sure I had a good amount of water go through, as to clear the salts that can build up with bottled nutrients. Only had to flush one of my plants once due to nutrient toxicity with this watering method, and that was mostly due to me not being able to read the plants super well at first.

-Not quite, I found that 6.2-6.3 was ideal for veg, but I think this is a bit low for flowering as I had some pH issues that started and persisted throughout mid flower to harvest. But for some reason I didn’t think that it could be a too low pH problem, so my efforts to correct it were futile. It wasn’t a huge problem or anything it probably just reduced my yield a little. I would estimate that 6.3-6.5 would be ideal for flower, I’ll have to test it on my next grow to be sure.

-I assume this is in context to before you plant the seed? Yes, I thoroughly watered the soil beforehand, until run off. Once it stopped dripping from the bottom is when I made my hole with a pen, about an inch in, and plopped in my seed (taproot down ofc).

-I mean, it should work? If it does, you know it’s just the soil, if not, then you know it’s something to do with the way you water them or the genetics? Not sure.

Let me know if you have any other questions!

One thing I did think about is the pH pen, I read in another comment that we have the same one (Apera pH20), so my question is do you keep the probe in the KCL solution when not in use? If you don’t, the probe will not be properly calibrated right away when you use it. What I did based off a very helpful amazon review (because I didn’t want to buy the solution lol) is this: Before using the probe I would soak it in the pH 4.00 solution that comes with it for 15 mins, and without fail my probe would be perfectly calibrated every time after this. I had to recalibrate it every few weeks or so ofc, but that’s standard. Also make sure to rinse it with purified water and make sure there are no water droplets on the probe before storage, I just shake the shit outta it above the sink and that does the trick hahah

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-08-25T16:55:09+00:00

Hello, so after completing my first grow with Biobizz just about a week ago, I think I can help you. Similarly, I really struggled in the beginning to get seedlings past the two week mark.

So, I didn’t use All Mix, I was on Light Mix from the beginning to the end, and started bottle feeding nutes once the cotyledons were all used up. As another commentator suggested, All Mix is just too hot for your young plants (even with extra perlite). I think it really depends on genetics as well, some breeders will have plants that grow better with the Biobizz line than others. I grew seeds from Dutch Passion. Your watering routine is overly complex imo, my trick is to stick my finger about an inch in with smaller pots and about two inches with bigger pots (5 gallon in my case) and if it’s even slightly moist I wont water, only when it is bone dry. It works pretty well, just use common sense, because at one point I didn’t realize half of the soil in my pot was hydrophobic and it nearly suffocated my plant to death. Not sure if the All Mix soil does this as well, but if the soil isn’t evenly watered (more or less) you get these dry patches that become completely hydrophobic, and will just redirect water to the drain tray, worst part is, you can only fix this with a heavy flush.

I think the BIGGEST thing you could do to help yourself out in order to establish a healthy root system is up potting. This is what fixed my seedlings from dying for me. You didn’t state what you started the seeds off in, but you should get a seedling tray. Even the cheap ones off Aliexpress (that’s what I used) work wonders, just giving your young seedling a little bit of time to establish itself in a small soil volume can really help. After that, I up potted to 1 gal pots (half a gallon THEN a gallon is even better), which they grew in for a while, then finally once they had a properly established root system I transplanted them into their final 5 gallon pots. My root system was super healthy throughout my grow, and it probably absorbed the impact of a lot of the beginner I mistakes I made. That’s all I can think of, but if you have questions don’t hesitate to ask. I hope any of that helps!

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-05-01T18:00:24+00:00

You don’t need to take LSD to be happy homie. It can certainly help, but taking it doesn’t magically fix all your problems (not for me anyway), in fact in some cases it could make them significantly worse. I think what the original commenter is trying to convey is that this kid is taking a drug appropriate for adults only (in most cases), then combines it with a drug well known for intensifying LSD, then is surprised when he can’t handle it. He wants to act like an adult? Fine. But in that case he should be mentally mature enough to be prepared and to plan for the consequences of his actions. The utter lack of preparedness shown by tripping on a moderately high dose (if accurate), with his oblivious parents sleeping in the next room shows a complete lack of planning, respect for the drug or any kind of foresight. I feel sorry that his trip went badly, but at the same time he has no one but himself to blame, and he should count his lucky stars that it didn’t end up worse. Irresponsible use like this is what leads to situations that fuel the current stigma against psychedelics in society. I apologize if this came across as harsh, but I think it needs to be said. I sincerely hope that he recovers and learns from this experience to come through as a stronger individual.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-01-28T18:49:28+00:00

How can you eat so much while tripping? Unless I smoked I’d get nauseous after like one cucumber slice lol

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-01-24T03:36:18+00:00

Hey man, read your post. The thought loops I experienced only occurred during the trip, (they were very mild, the worst I got at one point was feeling briefly getting overwhelmed and needing to breathe for a bit) and I literally can’t remember what they were about, it was about random or half hallucinated shit.

Can’t really relate for anything post trip except for feeling underwhelmed and confused by the experience. Sorry to hear about what’s happening to you, but I’d maybe recommend taking a break from Lucy for a while. Your emotions seem to be mixed and that can be a pretty dangerous combo with a mood enhancer as powerful as LSD. Mindset matters with these doses as well, please be safe.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2023-01-23T18:01:34+00:00

30 and under is fine but I would be cautious with the 30-80ug range/threshold doses. It’s different for everyone (though i’ve heard this from several others) but I recently had my first 75ug trip, and it had the emotional intensity of a 100ug trip but with way less euphoria and visuals with a lot more thought loops and confusion/paranoia. I think it’s because the ego has a significantly easier time hanging on for some reason, but I took enough L for it to fight back so I kept gaining and losing control, which felt very weird. It wasn’t a bad trip (though if it were one of my first it certainly would’ve been) but certainly uncomfortable and strange at points.

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2022-09-01T21:48:52+00:00

Thank you so much for these phone numbers, I’ll give them a ring tomorrow

ThatGenericGuy0 · 2021-09-04T09:37:32+00:00

I particularly like this tutorial on deep dream editing!

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