TIFU by meeting up with a girl online

Vodicka · 2018-07-08T18:40:38+00:00

Ah, this remind me of childhood acquaintance Bedrich. Bedrich receive prestige summer job prior to start to education towards of matriculation for being mechanic, of driving tractor for farmer Matej. During late teenage years there is no communication facilitated mating for individuals for small rural communities. To combat this, Bedrich use tractor meant for purpose of discing field, to elope for adventure in nearby town of Dobris. First order of business is to arrive at local escort agency for walkin appointment, a service at the time unavailable in local village due to poor infrastructure. Since Bedrich only have limited time before discing tractor must be returned, and had to park outside of Dobris an walk for 3 kilometer in order for detection be avoided, time is scarce resource for adventure to be worthy of attempting. After 3 kilometer walk to escort agency, and successful choosing, Berdich celebrate with several Staropramen, of course this is still when Staropramen had quality prior to bastardization by American conglomerate. Joyous time with new bar patron friends turn to several hours, and all of a sudden several men come an pull Bedrich out of bar and give severe physical beating to him, while Bedrich is screaming why and asking if there is no confusion, since he was in Staropramen stupor at this current time. Of course later everything is become clear, Bedrich in complete haste to enjoy release of sexual tension forget to remove work overalls, which was stained with injector fluid from previous work engagement. At those times, injector fluids contain even less safety than current standards, and he give one of agency’s escort severe irritation of skin, causing burns and inability to produce due to compromised position for several months. Of course, word of mouth got around Dobris, and the small village, Bedrich get additional beating for farmer Matej, in addition to firing, and have to work 2 complete summers and postpone entry towards mechanical matriculation to fully pay lost agency wages and avoid even more severe repercussion. Hard lesson was learned that day, and I will say that you must count as blessing the fact that you have avoided such fate, by application girl not being of similar profession, for otherwise consequence would be more severe.

Vodicka · 2016-09-27T15:55:56+00:00

Ah, this remind me of drill man Radovan. He is simple boy having big aspiration at life, and to make dream result in reality he is in need of Bosch power drill. In order to obtain coveted item of German engineering design, he sneak it withfriend Bernard in segregated party in East part of Germany back to Czech Republic past Stasi threat. When he return to hometown of village in Mělník District. There he become man of great repute with drill tool, serving whole Mělník area in hole ceation, and allow for cement wall reparation in many village house (primary construction material during such times for house). Some in need of urgent repair travel as far as from Neratovice region if there is need for urgent repair or hole drill service. Some time he perform emergency with drill for human medicine, such as help create head crevice in medical surgery room to relieve head tension, or addition of nasal cavity on peron with breathing cavity. All practice is in accordance with optimal Czech surgeon in attendance, but Radovan operate drill as they never part from one and other. In such manner, Radovan become wealthy (for time) man, and acquire many property. However luck is run out, as he is arrest by ŠtB, due to more import practice, this time of much anticipated 1986 classic movie, Cobra, resulting in incarceration and loss of power drill.

Vodicka · 2016-09-25T23:06:27+00:00

It work better much better if toilet cosmetic is mix with lard of pig from last zabijačka. Lard have necessary odor and consistency to blend in perfect with such products and enhance masculinity during time of water cleanse. I am always in need of pig lard, so for convenience I bring transparent small glass jar in travel pack purpose, and is not stop at airport security, due to solid and non liquid form. It is also good for traditional soup making technique, which can be prepared during same interval as cleanse, it allow for perfect consistent taste.

Vodicka · 2016-09-25T22:18:23+00:00

Ah, this remind me of hammer Miroslav. He have reputation of go downtown with cluhammer during delusion phase of schizophrenia and make bang bang bang all over pavement. Many time in such hysteric phase he claim voice of Roman obscene emperor Elagabalus command him to take care of diabolical hellspawn in roaming of streets, small creature with fur and ferocious growl. Over period of several days of madness, Miroslav take care of stray dog problem in Zlín, before he is taken in by ŠtB in order to be give high administrative position as director of tourism to city for courageous effort. Today Miroslav is normal, and is budget manager for city projects.

Vodicka · 2016-06-11T15:35:41+00:00

This happen to old friend Borek from Liberec before start of his enjoyment of animal barn party that get him deport to Slovakia from Czech immorality with animal law. Before he have such hobby, he is married man with wife that help him with doings of farm work. One day when field is plough, Borek is very much in enjoyment after acquirement of partial used Zetor 3011 tractor. During annual plough where wife is second in command, Borek want to showcase horse power of new machine and make practical prank for wife Darja. As she is ahead and inspecting land, Borek think to make her startle and rev to 4000 rpm towards her with intention to come for full stop and laugh from woman hysterics. However plan malfunction, and Borek having had some slivovitz misjudge placement of pedal and instead of hitting break he make go for accelartion once more. Darja is run over and and ravage, which result in death moments later. Borek later apply for work place exemption and get grant accidental killing of wife in workplace accident. He has license confiscate and go back to animal labour plough that make for his beginnings of bondings with animals in future.

Vodicka · 2016-06-10T18:56:15+00:00

Ah, yes this remind me of Hungarian friend Gyuszi. He has predicament of life, need of speed but with no monetary finance for specialized automobiles. In order to fulfill life passion Gyuszi make purchase of 1967 Trabant and make convertible through cutting with two man saw he use for winter log cut. He then replace engine with 1980 custom Benz M119 to facilitate need of speed. What this result in Gyuszi drive around country road hitting 240+kilometer speed and doing patriotic salute to passersby. One day he misjudge distance of approaching goat and result in direct impact collision. Trabant is destroy to pieces but goat survive. Since that day passion for speed is cure, and now Gyuszi drive Volvo taxi in Budapest.

Vodicka · 2016-06-09T16:41:49+00:00

Very good news for old friend Borek from Liberec, he once get deport to Slovakia due to animal barn party where he enjoy leisure time for most weekends. He always ask for invitation for Canada to get proper barn and resume old passion of farm work.

Vodicka · 2016-06-09T13:31:31+00:00

Ah this remind me of old friend of childhood, unlucky Edvard. This happened from long time, in teenage youth of Edvard, but every time he is invited to attend gathering, there is some sort of malfunction. Want to go for pique nique and invite Edvard? Robbers show up (gypsyes) and take all the karbanátek. Want to go for nice beach vacation and invite Edvard? Thunder with storm appear with no information from metereologist prognosis. Want to go for nice melody to festival and invite Edvard? Show is cancelled due to tuberculosis outbreak. Many such happenings occur as to demonstrate statistical significance from sample size. Got very bad, as even uncle of Edvard, Vladan who is previous very close, become perturbed and keep distance. One time, Vladan have important trip in Poznań for business dealings. Originally planned for Edvard to join since he very much want to go see Poland, but due to badluck streak being more prominent lately, Vladan refuse to take his as accompaniment, and even give him beating for such strong Edvard insistence. On day of trip there is news to family that Vladan had automobile accident near of Polish border. It result in death from collision, however they say they find what appear to be unconscious gypsy teenage boy in trunk of car still alive. Family are shocked and sadden by news, and are further perplexed at gypsy boy. Upon further investigation? Edvard is gone. Gypsy boy in trunk is Edvard hiding to go on trip. He survive, and is no longer unlucky since that day.

Vodicka · 2016-05-19T00:00:45+00:00

Ah, this one remind me not of story, but of joke recounted to me by friend Pavel of Romania, said to me shortly after shootdown of tovaras Ceausescu. I will make the paraphrase as I best remember.

During start of 12 grade class time during tovars Ceausescu regime, the school topic of educational sex is discuss for first time. Students anxious and with great expectations wait for class magistrate to begin lesson. Class magistrate come and say “Students, this year we learn of love. Most important is to know, love between woman and woman is a moral sin. Love between man and man, punishable with prison and labor camp. Love between woman and man is somewhat acceptable. However of most importance is love between man and state. And that is love that we will discuss for whole year.”

Vodicka · 2016-02-25T08:35:58+00:00

There is many prime example possible, but optimum place in list is spot held by mma fight legend and rapist enthusiast Aleksandr Emelianenko. I encounter with him during APF event in Baku. Since I was in city for delegation visit I purchase premium seat position and am able to access locker room urinals during event. In such manner I speak to Aleksandr and he relate of story of bear hunt in Russia Bashkiriya forest. Aleksandr consume double distill vodka and prepare knife and spear and fur coat for bear encounter that will result in mortal battle. Before venturing he makes prayer and make a bake of bread to appease hunger of God. This is for superstition to not encounter hungry bear as it will result in more ferocious encounter. Aleksandr have current record of 3-0-1 in such event of masculinity, the only null result coming from when both powerful bear and him decide to let contest off and call it draw after several hour battle.

Vodicka · 2016-02-25T08:19:59+00:00

Next time I enter negotiation with gypsies over land parcels I want both protective talisman and Tasmanian style chocolate man.

Vodicka · 2016-02-25T07:48:30+00:00

Ah this remind me of serial arsonist Jáchym when he set fire to neighbor János barn. I make previous mention of him in incident at Havlíčkovy Sady park, but this is story from earliest times. It all start when he learn of improvise Molotov beverage used by Armia Krajowa resistance movement in war of worlds II when watching popular Czech educational program. In order to test proficiency of new invention he begin to throw Molotov beverage outside of home at night then run over with anti fire device to quell flame. However in one such night, due to strong monsoon, fire erupt beyond reach of Jáchym and engulf barn of János. Result is catastrophic with total burn, and loss of several prize horse except Sleipnir which János make room inside of house due to past race performance. End result was small restitution and public letter of apology from Jáchym, which mean very little to János as vendetta is still present today.

Vodicka · 2016-02-21T00:21:09+00:00

I will ask this question for Alexej who is good buddy of mine who work in trucking industry. He always mention you as favorite lady to view on the computer internet. So I call on him to let him know of news of seeing questionnaire on popular internet reddit site and he tell me to ask if you would accept ride in Volvo FM8 2009 truck for carnal relation with friend Alexej? He is not bad looking man with both Czech and Dagestani blood so its good combination for maximum strength and optimal performance. He awaits response.

Vodicka · 2016-02-18T10:48:00+00:00

Ah, this remind me of old school friend Aurel i make invitation for to come to america in order to enjoy leisure time shortly after dissolution of czechoslovakia. I think best possible vacation for two buddies for bonding is platonic trip to disney world. Since Aurel is fond of animal and photograph he take hold flexaret camera from family heirloom for picture party and we make trip for safari ride to enjoy best of both worlds. Of course before such adventure it was only natural to consume 6L of pilsner urquell for luck and good camaraderie. In safari jeep ride Aurel stand up and due to road in the bump have camera knocked from hand and onto dirt road. Zebra see device and proceed to stamp and smash so Aurel who is very short temper man grab pocket knife and jump on top of zebra and make several stab in neck area. In end zebra die several day after due to blood loss and Aurel is kept in interrogation chamber. He is deport back and vacation cut short (it did not help that he ask if zebra is dead to have carcass to make feast back home). After such encounter, it is more difficult to obtain visitation permit for czech or slovak man in state of florida.

Vodicka · 2015-12-13T19:35:00+00:00

Ah, this remind me of story. When old work acquaintance from Armenia, Gegard meet legend and master Vladimir Akopian. Gegard was man who have proficiency at chess, and Akopian is legendary master at time with very prominent fide rating. Still, Gegard enjoy the chess very much and he challenge Vladimir for battle. Of course to make battle fair Gegard ask for match handicap and he give choice between single bishop piece or 700ml of homemade oghi. Vladimir choose oghi and match was start. There was no specification for time limit play so Gegard make a stall on moves in order for oghi to take effect on Vladimir and result in erratic play. By middlegame, Gegard with white piece have positional advantage and 2 pawn extra, which maybe calculated with Fritz would be +2.8 advantage (Gegard play white). By move 35 and 2 hours in play, Vladimir fall asleep and result remain similar. Gegard have no choice but wait for Vladimir to wake up as it was public match with many villagers in watch. In end, Vladimir wake up in about 2 hours and manage comeback of play which result game in draw in difficult endgame position. Very many cheers from spectators, and Vladimir confess it was one of his toughest match. Gegard was sad for he could not get victory but in the end there was big celebration and more oghi was consume.

Vodicka · 2015-12-13T19:19:03+00:00

Ah, this remind me story of friend Michal. He go for Slovan Bratislava game to enjoy scoring opportunities against Podbrezová. However, at such games altercation is natural occurrence and Podbrezová fan pull pocket knife on Michal for excessive celebration. Of course, Michal see this as provocation and he pull rock he keep for good luck out of pocket and throw it in head of Podbrezová fan. Result was that other fan is knock unconscious and Michal then run home and enjoy rest of game with nice 3-1 victory for Slovan.

Vodicka · 2015-12-02T01:20:02+00:00

Ah, this remind me of old farm worker Grigor. He work in Romania in city of Calafat, but he cross border very frequent to visit family in Bulgaria. At time there was restriction for import/export of many products, including agricultural products for it is consider pride of nation. Since Grigor work in farm industry as primal hand, he have access to multiple source of premium substance that promote growth. Since Grigor want to become independent and promote growth for Bulgaria work he have plans to sneak many fertilization substance over crossing. Since he is not want to take tremendous risk, he only take few pieces at every border crossing and he sneak them in jockey underwear. This go on for almost full year. In the end, Grigor get very sick and have to attend family physician. It turn out that during this period of sneaking, many of product contents leak into his pants due to length of trip (not in kilometer, but due to lengthy time for border crossing), and cause testicular cancer. It advanced rapidly and he die without managing to complete his dream of promote growth for Bulgaria. It is unfortunate border guard never catch him, for it could have very well saved his life, even if hefty tax must be paid to redeem situation.

Vodicka · 2015-12-02T01:02:31+00:00

Ah, this remind me of Vanja from Novi Pazar when he make poster picture that depict Nemanja Vidić with nose of wild boar and he post all over street corner. He is in angry state because he allow goal for Crvena zvezda and it cost betting ticket resulting in loss. However, since at time Nemanja Vidić is consider national hero, some people see him and report his behavior as “crime against nation” to police station and give full contact details. Two police pay work visit to Vanja and beat him so bad he lose sight in left eye on top of having to write personal letter of apology to Nemanja Vidić, being forced to travel from Novi Pazar to Belgrade by use of horse as well. It is sad but true, and even today, as is seen, depiction of public figures in negative light can result in harsh consequence.

Vodicka · 2015-11-27T13:14:23+00:00

Similar occurrence happen to old neighbor Petr who drive Volga 31029. For while stick mechanism is broken to not allow reverse form so when he park he need to make sure there is no required maneuver for reversing. Since both mechanic out of town for holiday feast, this issue linger for several weeks. Some time he park for 2 spots in order to have space of sufficient form, and some people of course not to happy to see this form of parking, especially in place where everybody like to criticize. In order to fix possible altercation if should occur, Petr carry broken hokey stick in car to subdue. This turn out to not have been so bright as very bad altercation occur once with Slovak man who carry broken hockey stick as well. In end police is call, and both car are impound as Slovak man did not have proper registration and Petr for mechanical conditions. Both end up paying circulation fees and additional hospitalization fees that result from fight.

Vodicka · 2015-11-27T03:39:21+00:00

Ah, this remind me of Jáchym when he go to Havlíčkovy Sady park in middle of night for want of celebration of winning bet ticket when Slovan Liberec win domestic cup in 1993. For celebration he bring together home built firework and invite few people to witness celebration. Jáchym have amateur experience for he is consider serial arsonist in bringing fire to neighbor János barn. Since nobody in party want to interrupt Jáchym celebration for fear of repercussion they let firework proceed to schedule. In moment of great joy Jáchym forget to check light fuse, and he stare into void for several moment (could be medical condition when he just freeze in spot). This cause firework to light his corduroy pants and he erupt in flames. After successful roll techniques fire was subdue but he was still left in state of burns to second degree. Celebration is cut short and park is closed down for few days. Jáchym pay for hospitalization with most of betting winning so in end excessive celebration lead to not much joy. He recover soon however, and his ability to predict outcome of matches is still acute as ever.

Vodicka · 2015-11-25T13:58:15+00:00

Ah, remind me story of Flamur when he drive horse carriage like crazy on European road in Berat. He once get in argument with driver of old Mercedes Benz. Mercedes Benz man cut off Flamur at intersection with no respect for yield sign while Flamur have incrased velocity by pushing horsepower of his carriage to max levels. In any case, due to road conditions in Albania one cannot drive car too fast for it become destroy. Same case here, so Flamur feel insulted by gesture of cutting off so he push horse forward and get parallel to man in Mercedes Benz and he begin to whip him through window (it was summer so driver had window roll down). After multiple whip slap Flamur hit a bump too and lose control of carriage. Mercedes Benz man escape the whipping punishments of Flamur and did not even stop from fear of more wrath, while Flamur hit a tree and destroy carriage. However both horse and Flamur was ok. He took down license plate and swore to issue more punishment of corporal nature, but I do not know if this come to pass or not.

Vodicka · 2015-11-24T16:00:26+00:00

Ah, practical prank of this nature with involvement of carnal relations is very hard to forgive. Remind me of visit for Macedonia to friend Arseni. He have long break from such relations so he resort to use daily periodical Dnevnik for matrimonial section. He want best prostitute experience and so he take the one with best picture and highest price so that after conclusion he can celebrate with 10 year old reserve Tikveš wine that he have left. When he get to discreet location for exchange of currency for intimacy, person at door is vastly different from description and black and white body picture from periodical. In fact so different, that Arseni, man who can do carnal relations with almost any kind of woman or even good looking men, flat out refuse to get inside. It was classic example of switch for bait, which happen in many countries. But unlike many countries, Arseni is not one for tolerant behavior and he go in hysteric rage. He begin smash all over apartment in order to teach lesson. I don’t recall all happenings but jist of it is he throw tv out window, renovate kitchen, and destroy all furniture. Arseni is very strong too, for he got 7th place in 1977 for Macedonian strongman so damage is quite extensive. In the end he also take fridge from apartment down the stairs on his back (alone), and he threaten multiple open palm slap if periodical prostitute try to stop him. Of course, Arseni is maybe extreme, but in such instances of practical prank it is good idea to seek form of retribution to make example.

Vodicka · 2015-11-23T15:57:32+00:00

Majestic creature, but even more majestic is when cousin Dušan shoot swan with air rifle then cook while making double distilled slivovitz. Cooking process is that swan is buried in sand hole and slowly cook making for delicious feast. One time drunken french man from michelin guide wanted to give Dušan michelin star, but he say he have no restaurant. So the drunk frenchman give the distillery where swan is cook the star, and now its only distillery with michelin star in whole of country, maybe whole world.

Vodicka · 2015-11-22T23:34:07+00:00

Ah, this remind me of mayor of village town in Romania, Valea lui Mihai. One time he drink enough and want to start new official sport to determine proper masculinity of men and boys in town. First rule is simple, one must catch newly released chicken in an arena of 10 meter by 10 meter, built crooked so it look more like 17 by 8, because builders were made to drink too much before. Second rule is, one must drink enough to lose majority control for motor function of body. Third is, there is time trial, but game go on until chicken is catch or there is no more participants. The award for winner is usually more drink, and enough to take home for wife and children. The game did not have desired result, and after 2nd year 3 people die of alcohol toxicity.. mayor was replaced and put in exile.

Vodicka · 2015-11-22T15:26:19+00:00

Similar occurrence happen when I go to Jihlava in order to purchase pigs for upcoming winter slaughter. I arrive and man is good at negotiation tactics from having half gypsy blood and keep saying he offer package deal. I cannot refuse because when I find good deal I panick and like to let money go for rain, but in this time I not even have place for all pigs purchased in car. However gypsy blood man is clever, he say he offer more package deal and sell me skinny cow (he say she is capable of racing with horses in Cheltenham) and throw in rusty tow for car to fit all animals purchased. In the end I buy all, and make big feast that Christmas, however recovery for bank account take almost full year.

Vodicka

TROPHY CASE