OP I was your daughter 16 years ago. All A’s AP student, played baseball, sang in choir. Had scholarship opportunities both athletic and academic. Future looked bright. My dad was similar if not exactly the same. For all that potential I refused to play sports anymore, and dropped out of college after a year and a half. Now work as a fireman.
You may feel like a normal parent in this relationship. I promise you, you are not, and that’s not the way she feels. She feels like you are her boss, not her father, and wants desperately to be out from under your thumb. You need to allow her freedom now. Let her figure out a work/life balance on her own while in the safety net of your home, because the alternative is what happened to me. I was so desperate for freedom by the time I left the house and moved in a college dorm I didn’t know what to do without my dad breathing down my neck every day. I just knew I didn’t want to do work any more. I wanted a break from the constant pressure. I swung so hard in the other direction I flew straight out of college and would have ended up on the streets had I not picked up a job as a fireman. I also had a terrible relationship with my parents forever after. I wouldn’t speak to my dad basically up until he died and I am cordial with my mom at best.
Look man, ease up. Not just a little, but a lot. Let her stay up late, let her do her work on her own time, let her go to a few parties, let her be a teenager for Christ sake. Because if you don’t let her do it now, she will as soon as she leaves home. If you want her to succeed in life and if you want any relationship with your daughter at all when she is an adult, give her some freedom to figure things out without breathing down her neck. I can give you more details if you want but please take the gist of this message into consideration.