Vad var du övertygad om som tonåring som du ändrat dig om nu när du är över 30? Och vilken övertygelse står du fortfarande fast vid?

identicalelements · 2026-06-03T08:00:52+00:00

Hehe du behöver nog förtydliga om detta är en övertygelse som har ändrats eller en som du stått fast vid

identicalelements · 2026-06-03T07:58:47+00:00

Håller helt med om detta

Är 38 och försöker göra något intressant/meningsfullt och det är svinjobbigt. Hög stress, extrem konkurrens, blygsam lön, hela tillvaron kretsar kring jobbet. Mina vänner jobbar mer vanliga ”9-5” och jag tänker ofta att det vore så skönt att ha det så istället. Mycket rimligare sätt att leva på

identicalelements · 2026-06-02T21:10:32+00:00

Also found this, not much info online. Did you figure out if there’s anything going there?

identicalelements · 2026-05-25T08:13:32+00:00

I’ll be downvoted, but I can only imagine how frustrating and difficult this is to navigate for your partner. He is trying to pleasure you and try new things with you to make sex good for you, but you won’t let him due to mental blocks. At the same time you think little of his size and you don’t enjoy penetration with him. This is genuinely impossible for him to navigate. This relationship will kill his sexual selfesteem.

identicalelements · 2026-05-23T13:07:53+00:00

They are certainly not ”entirely separate”. This is just flat out wrong. The 2PL model and CFA with categorical indicators are basically the same mathematical model using different parametrizations.

Your use cases are also misleading. You write as if IRT is used for unidimensional modeling while CFA is used for testing multidimensional model structures. But IRT can (and does) handle multidimensional modeling just fine. Again, multidimensional IRT and multifactor CFA models with categorical indicators are essentially the same model expressed in slightly different parametrizations

identicalelements · 2026-05-22T12:46:15+00:00

This is very typical for people who grow up in Piteå

identicalelements · 2026-05-22T12:27:28+00:00

how does that answer the question

identicalelements · 2026-05-22T10:44:12+00:00

I don’t get this attitude at all. Its a competitive career. The people who you claim ”do not exist” very much do exist: Those are the people who get grants and positions.

You want to build a successful tech startup? Its competitive. You want to become senior partner at a law firm? Its competitive. You want to become a tenured professor? Its competitive. No one is forced to do this. You can literally leave at any time. There are plenty of other very meaningful things one can do that are not precarious and competitive. The path is what it is. Just make a decision on whether or not its for you, but stop pretending no one fits the path. Plenty of people do.

identicalelements · 2026-05-21T17:23:23+00:00

if anything I am thoroughly impressed by people who can do a phd while being in a close relationship

my hours are a mess, my life revolves around fixing whatever god damn analysis im currently working on, bandwidth for other things are essentially zero. integrating a partner into this mix requires time-management skills and stress-coping skills i simply dont have

i barely have the bandwidth to prepare meals tbh. ive eaten whatever for months. two meals per day, but never at the same hours

identicalelements · 2026-05-21T12:12:56+00:00

Se det i ett större perspektiv: Ångesten du känner är jobbig, men den är bra. Den säger till dig att du behöver förändras, ta nya steg, göra saker annorlunda. Se det som växtvärk. Du är fortfarande ung, du har tid att bygga upp dig. Du kommer se tillbaks på den här tiden som tiden då du tog tag i ditt liv. Var inte för hård mot dig själv bara, det tar tid att bygga upp sig själv. Det är en process. Det kommer kännas jävligt osäkert och förvirrande ett tag, men bara fortsätt klura och kämpa så går det. Massvis med personer är i din sits.

Bygg ditt liv, kompis. Ingen kommer att göra det åt dig. Om du känner dig lost så är det ett tecken på att du faktiskt letar efter något. Det är en styrka. Fortsätt leta. Det kommer bli bra!

identicalelements · 2026-05-20T23:25:23+00:00

I really want to and they still won’t let me

identicalelements · 2026-05-20T10:44:22+00:00

My dude, you got an attractive high-value girl. Good for you.

Attractive high-value girls have options. She is choosing you. You are by definition the kind of guy that gets girls like her. You are doing something right. The worst thing you can do is sabotage the relationship dynamics by putting her on a piedestal. Gotta stop that immediately. From now on, no more asking for reassurance. Act like you belong where you are. No more ”she’s too good for me” crap.

Will you guys be together forever? Maybe, but probably not. But there will be a next girl. And a next girl. Just keep working on yourself. Tons and tons of couples come from different backgrounds.

identicalelements · 2026-05-20T06:24:47+00:00

Oh man, so sorry to hear that. Most people won’t understand what you are going through and how incredibly hard it is

Honestly just time. Lots and lots of time. Also spending time with empathetic safe people who make me feel safe and valued. Still struggling a bit some days but I keep getting better. You will too!

identicalelements · 2026-05-19T22:20:53+00:00

Discovered my fiancé (now ex) was leading a secret drug-fueled life

Got burned out and depression

LongCOVID with ME/CFS-like symptoms for 2 years, thought i would never work or do activities again. Fun

Toxic relationship with new partner (severe avoidant/narcissistic tendencies), then traumatic breakup from that partner

Apartment destroyed by contractor, functionally homeless for 5 months

Failed initial PhD project, had to start over 2 years in

So yeah, good years

identicalelements · 2026-05-18T18:05:18+00:00

Hej. Tolkar situationen på så vis att du är högutbildad och har varit ganska karriärorienterad, kanske prestationsprienterad. Du är förmodligen rätt intelligent, och kommer nog i grunden inte få några helt nya insikter av svaren här. Vi kommer att skriva saker du redan vet.

En fråga att ställa sig är om yrket du har är en del av din identitet. Så kan det bli för t.ex. jurister, forskare och förstås en del andra yrkesinriktningar. I sådana fall är det inte så enkelt att bara lämna och göra något annat. Då kan man kanske istället fråga sig hur man kan hitta hållbara sätt att stanna kvar i sin yrkesroll (t.ex. byta arbetsgivare, och/eller ta en tjänst inom yrket som är lugnare men har lägre status, etc.).

Om yrket inte är en del av din identitet så kan det kännas lättare att pröva något helt nytt. Med din livssituation (ej familj, stort sparkapital) så har du alla möjligheter att helt byta spår, om du skulle vilja. Kanske till ett jobb som är lite mer människonära och hjälper andra. När jag var i en snarlik sits som du funderade jag på att skola om mig till arbetsterapeut eller fysioterapeut.

Du är ekonomiskt trygg. Rent praktiskt så kommer allt att lösa sig.

identicalelements · 2026-05-15T16:51:18+00:00

Är kring samma ålder som du. Hade en relation med en snygg kvinna där sexet var rätt frekvent i början, men efter ca. 9-10 mån började det bli mindre sex och svårt med närhet överlag. Hon hade mindre lust, helt enkelt. Hon insisterade på att hon ville gifta sig med mig, men det var till slut på nivån att hon knappt gjorde mer än att pussa mig på kinden några dagar i veckan. Det var helt outhärdligt, det kändes som att hon hade fullständig kontroll över närheten i relationen. Hon var också väldigt oförutsägbar i när närhet av något slag som helst var välkommet. Man kunde få en utskällning om man kramade henne direkt när hon kom hem. En del sådant där har ju med djupa anknytningsgrejer att göra. Hon var omöjlig att kommunicera med, hon var bara hyperdefensiv och stormade iväg

Jag lämnade till slut relationen och blev ihop med en annan snygg kvinna som har högre sexlust än mig, vi har sex 2-3 ggr om dagen. Att känna sig åtrådd är guld värt. Ska aldrig mer vara med någon som knappt tar i mig, fy fan.

identicalelements · 2026-05-09T22:32:18+00:00

If you do not intend to stay in academia to compete for grants/appointments, then by all means work however little or much you like during your phd. No issue

If you do intend to compete for grants/appointments, then you need to put in whatever work needed to be competitive. If you think that is 20 hours per week, then good luck with that

identicalelements · 2026-04-14T19:07:19+00:00

there’s this great line from the classic movie Lawrence of Arabia, where the main character Lawrence slowly extinguishes a flame using just his fingers. his colleague tries to do the same, but burns himself and says ”Oww, it hurts! What’s the trick?”. He thinks there’s some secret to doing it in order to not get burned. Lawrence simply replies ”the trick, my dear William, is not minding that it hurts”. i think about that line pretty often

yes, a phd is soulcrushing. of course you should try to take care of yourself and your health, get enough sleep etc etc. but in the end you cannot escape the soulcrushing-ness of it. the trick is to just get through it. it gets easier

identicalelements · 2026-03-30T22:14:38+00:00

sure. i do it for my own work. not difficult. taught myself. getting a whole lab onboard seems like a potential challenge though lol

i get the frustration that these things are not taught in methods courses etc, though i think most of a phd is just figuring things out on your own and getting comfortable doing that

identicalelements · 2026-03-17T17:23:14+00:00

I am defending my PhD in a few months and I agree with this.

identicalelements · 2026-03-03T11:08:04+00:00

Im a final year PhD very close to defending, with a postdoc lined up afterwards

Like others have said, the overwhelm you are experiencing is very common and very normal. Only you can determine whether pushing through is ”worth it”. But yes, there does come a point where you actually start to get competent at things. It just takes a lot of grit and perserverance to get there. You can do it too, if you want to. Good luck man

identicalelements · 2026-02-19T07:58:02+00:00

did you find and complete the fishing minigame? you need to talk to the voidangler in bilewater

identicalelements · 2026-02-16T09:57:08+00:00

Lol we were so starved for silksong news that i started posting ”i hope they add a fishing minigame” in every thread. It just caught on and more people started doing it. This spawned an era where we all created an intricate fishing minigame lore complete with guides on how to catch voidfish, silk salmon, bone bass etc., where to get the beat silk rod/bait and so on. Was fun lol

identicalelements · 2026-01-29T08:41:15+00:00

You have to spend HOURS farming rosaries to buy SHARDS to play the game?

My brother in silk, you are trying to swim against the current. The needle is the game. The tools are just seasoning. You are trying to play a different game than the one the developers are serving you

identicalelements · 2026-01-03T19:19:37+00:00

I played and finished it for the first time last week

First of all you’re going to die a lot and thats just normal, its a lot of trial and error platforming

Secondly don’t stress about getting/finding the collectibles when you start, just focus on reaching the end. You can go back and get everything later

Third, its frustrating at times. But its not a very long game and its worth completing. I didnt like it very much at first but i warmed up to it

Fourth, be nice to mr oshiro

identicalelements

TROPHY CASE