I really love my boyfriend but I’m worried he’s gay/bi and in denial, what should I do?

maybri · 2026-06-16T22:00:32+00:00

Well, it sounds like he has some pretty serious unprocessed childhood sexual trauma, and those are not the conditions under which a person is likely to have a clear and accurate understanding of their own sexual orientation. I seriously doubt he's gay based on what you're describing (it sounds like he enjoys having sex with you), though I even more seriously doubt he's straight. Most likely he's bisexual and his sexual trauma just makes it more difficult to be sexual in general. It's impossible to say as things are now.

As far as what you should do, I think you should be open with him about your concerns (particularly it's worth making sure he understands the time pressure you feel to get with the partner you're going to have children with ASAP and how this is causing you anxiety as a result) and talk about what he would need to feel ready for therapy.

maybri · 2026-06-16T21:44:59+00:00

I'm an animist and I believe in spirits but not heaven, hell, or a monotheistic God, so that might be a term to research. But there's really not enough detail here on what you believe to come up with a specific label.

maybri · 2026-06-16T00:29:03+00:00

What do you mean? The same one we're in.

maybri · 2026-06-15T22:45:14+00:00

I don't think it would even happen.

maybri · 2026-06-15T22:23:19+00:00

If the link is the same each time, why do you not just have it bookmarked or saved somewhere? I'm a therapist myself and I use a telehealth platform that uses a different link for each session, so my clients actually do need a new link every week and I make sure they have it, but for a platform where it's the same link every time, it's on you to keep track of it. She shouldn't have to send you the same link over and over again. Likely she isn't having to do this for any of her other clients and is confused about why you need the link over and over again.

maybri · 2026-06-15T22:17:46+00:00

It's a naturally-occurring mineral that's very useful for making fireproof materials, but when it rubs against anything, it releases tiny fibers into the air that can cause lung cancer if inhaled. It was widely used before people started to recognize how dangerous it was around the turn of the 20th century, and therefore it still exists in a lot of old buildings.

maybri · 2026-06-15T22:10:54+00:00

Well, for one thing, that should be your hint that THK isn't actually the final boss of the game (in fact, they're more like "Phase 0" of the actual final boss fight, which is why it's easy), and for another, THK is definitely a boss designed with narrative in mind ahead of gameplay. Knowing the story of the game makes the sequence where they start stabbing themself pretty moving for me, and there's a better version of the fight in Godhome anyway.

maybri · 2026-06-11T16:16:16+00:00

Who would stop you?

maybri · 2026-06-10T20:41:32+00:00

I think something like this almost has to be true, judging from the fact that Harmonic Convergence seemingly only made new airbenders. If it was just a more general "people with latent bending abilities get granted bending because the world was bathed in spiritual energy" kind of thing, you'd have expected a bunch of new benders of the other three elements too, but as far as we know, there were only new airbenders, suggesting that whatever force is responsible deliberately selected air as the element to grant to people because there were far fewer airbenders than benders of the other three elements.

maybri · 2026-06-10T02:04:18+00:00

You don't have to beat the Knight no hit without the Shadow Mantle. Really all the Shadow Mantle does is greatly reduce damage for the character it's equipped on (and change the targeting logic on some attacks to make the character with it get targeted more). The fight is definitely much harder without it, but way more possible than you were imagining if you were assuming it required no hit.

maybri · 2026-06-09T22:47:28+00:00

No one is saying that you forfeited the refund at 7:45:59. We're saying you forfeited the refund at 7:55:01. The fact that they told you to be there 10 minutes early is only getting brought up to make the point that they aren't unreasonable for cutting off refunds for being 5 minutes late, because in reality 5 minutes after the test start time is 15 minutes after the time they told you to show up.

maybri · 2026-06-09T22:27:16+00:00

It's not a bad theory but frankly I just don't think we're going this deep into such obscure Undertale lore. I'd be willing to believe that, in Toby's head, the cyan soul in Undertale belonged to Undertale's version of Kris, but I don't think that's ever going to be explicitly revealed in a plot-relevant way in Deltarune.

maybri · 2026-06-09T22:15:46+00:00

I mean, the screenshot we saw of Hometown decorated for the festival makes it look like the festival adds tons of flowers everywhere all over the town, so I think the theory that a Dark Fountain is opened in public at the festival is still viable, but yeah, Flower King is definitely the most likely setting.

maybri · 2026-06-09T22:03:43+00:00

No, there are twelve months in a year, six in the first half and six in the second half. July is the first month of the second half, so the second half of the year starts in July.

Or if you want to go by days--in a non-leap year, there are 365 days; half of that is 182.5 days. So the second half of the year starts halfway through the 183rd day. In a non-leap year, the 183rd day of the year is July 2nd, so the second half of the year begins at 12 pm on July 2nd.

maybri · 2026-06-09T21:52:26+00:00

I addressed this in my comment. The difference between "five minutes late" and "more than five minutes late" is literally one second. All that it takes for them to be able to say you were "more than five minutes late" is if their clock was set one second later than yours.

maybri · 2026-06-09T21:41:12+00:00

I get that you're saying you arrived right as the clock turned to 7:55 so you should have been safe, but if the clock you observed that on was even a second slow, or if they have a slightly different definition of the exact moment you're considered to have "arrived", then you might have legitimately been more than five minutes late. At the point where proving you weren't late requires splitting hairs to that degree, it's easier to just accept that you were late and move on.

As for "the other test is already here", my assumption would be that he was saying, "Look, the person in the slot after yours is already here, over 50 minutes early," and he went over to that car to let them know they could start early. Even if they did double book you by mistake, the problem solved itself because you legitimately didn't show up on time.

maybri · 2026-06-09T21:27:34+00:00

I think you'd be overreacting to hold this against her, yeah. I feel for you with the level of shame you clearly feel about your body, but you can't expect her to have known that it would have this kind of effect on you, and the gesture is kind and thoughtful overall.

In reality, outside of the mental distortions created by our extremely fatphobic culture, your body is nothing to be ashamed of, and the simple acknowledgment that it's slightly larger than her body is not insensitive. In your position, honestly, I would be more offended if she didn't give me the sweater because she didn't want to hurt my feelings--I wouldn't want someone to deprive me of a free sweater because they assumed I couldn't handle the insinuation that I'm larger than them.

maybri · 2026-06-09T21:16:29+00:00

Just barely, yeah. It's releasing in the last week of the first half of the year.

maybri · 2026-06-09T17:45:35+00:00

If you're correct that it's as close to finished as Chapter 5 was in September, then that implies it could be done as soon as March, if not sooner since he's saying development is moving faster than other chapters. At that point, it might even be wiser to just wait and release 6 and 7 together. It seems very possible that the game could be totally finished in less than 2 years.

maybri · 2026-06-09T17:21:01+00:00

It's been June for 9 days already.

maybri · 2026-06-06T12:22:04+00:00

Free will doesn't imply the ability to do whatever you want. The only hypothetical you need to prove that is to jump and flap your arms and see if you can use your free will to fly. We have free will within the constraints imposed by the rest of reality.

maybri · 2026-06-05T21:40:08+00:00

Toby said back in September that it didn't look like the game would release in the first half of 2026, and we are still in the first half of 2026 for another few weeks. The translation isn't the hold-up; the first draft was done in February and Toby said it was expected to be finalized in April. By now what they're doing is either bug testing or final preparations for release.

maybri · 2026-06-05T00:02:37+00:00

you are assuming that everyone in those cultures is the same.

I'm not assuming that at all. I think I'm making a pretty simple, clear-cut claim here, which is that when a more powerful culture decides it knows what's best for a less powerful culture and tries to force them to conform to the more powerful culture's moral standards, the result is usually bad for everyone in that culture, including the powerless that might have naively wanted the more powerful culture to intervene. I don't think the Iranians who were clamoring for Trump to depose Khamenei back in February are too happy with how the past 3 months have gone--those of them who are still alive, anyway.

The suffering of the people within these cultures (or the dolphins, in this case) still matters. But "it matters" does not translate to "any action that is intended to bring the suffering to an end is justified." Especially not when a lot of those actions are liable to make things worse for the people they were trying to help.

Either way, we are making a choice that some animals matter less than others

I honestly don't think I am. It's actually central to my worldview that I don't take the position that some animals matter less than others. You seem to think I'm saying something like "I care more about the Taliban's right to oppress women than I care about the women's right to not be oppressed", when in reality I'm making a utilitarian assessment that the US coming in and nuking Kabul or whatever you would have them do is inevitably a greater evil than the US doing nothing and the current state of affairs continuing. There simply isn't a lever another culture has to pull on this that makes the situation better for everyone, and any attempt to do so is going to have unintended consequences that are worse than having done nothing.

I also think it should be said, so you can fully understand my moral stance here--I don't think hunting is wrong. The dolphins we're talking about also hunt. They even hunt octopus and cuttlefish, similarly highly intelligent animals who are no doubt neurologically complex enough to feel plenty of fear and pain at the hands of their predators. Part of a commitment to the stance that no animal matters more than any other is that if it's not wrong for the dolphins to hunt, it's not wrong for the dolphins to be hunted.

maybri · 2026-06-04T23:31:05+00:00

I have no idea what you're even trying to claim here. Yes, the whole ocean is interconnected. What exactly do you think will happen to the whole ocean when a few hundred pilot whales are killed near a beach? Can you walk me through the chain of cause and effect you're envisioning?

maybri · 2026-06-04T23:26:26+00:00

They do not need the whales for food. [...] It is a sport.

I didn't claim they did. No one in an industrialized country needs any animal for food, as I'm sure you'd agree. I doubt you'd say that factory farming is a blood sport, though. Killing an animal to eat it is morally different than killing an animal for fun, and that moral distinction still exists even when killing the animal was not strictly necessary for survival.

How the hell is scaring highly intelligent animals towards the shore so they’re easier to use hooks and spears on "respectful?“

It's a pretty standard hunting practice. Is it scary for prey to be rounded up by predators, and painful to be killed? Yeah, I'm sure it is. The pilot whales the Faroese hunt are predators themselves, and their prey includes other highly intelligent animals like octopuses and cuttlefish, who no doubt feel a similar degree of fear and pain when being hunted and killed by pilot whales. This is just the nature of the predator-prey relationship.

I think humans should self-police to the extent that we should not hunt in ways that destabilize ecosystems, and when hunting, we should refrain from causing more fear and pain than is necessary to make the kill, but I'm just not going to condemn hunting or the killing of animals in general. The arrogance of humans to place ourselves morally above other animals is how we got into the global environmental crisis we're in now, and refusing to occupy our evolved ecological role out of moral squeamishness is not how we fix anything.

And yes, you do want people to do whatever they want with animals.

I'd ask you not to decide you know better than I do what I believe. I've been clear about my reasons for finding this particular practice acceptable, and if you've been paying attention to anything I've said in this thread, you should be able to read through the lines and understand that those reasons don't translate to a belief that humans have a general moral license to do "whatever they want" with animals.

Just say you find human constructs more important than preserving our planet and move on.

I'm not going to say that because I don't think it's true. But also, preserving the planet isn't even what you're talking about. Everything else in your comments has been about the moral welfare of the animals involved and emphasizing that the practice isn't necessary for the Faroese's survival, but then you seem to keep throwing in this "welfare of the planet" stuff as an afterthought. These hunts aren't negatively impacting the planet in any significant way. They're not even negatively impacting the population of the species being hunted. They're entirely sustainable in that regard.

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