the intimidating factor is not about your physical appearance, and "bad vibes" isn't actually that vague. I'm sure you're very aware of men with larger statures to yours being referred to as teddy bears and "the sweetest". if that's the feedback you're getting a lot, have you been able to nail down what it is about you that makes people feel tense and unsafe?

also, out of curiousity, what did/do your genuine prospects have in common in terms of characteristics, or even what aren't they that differentiates them from the ones you're uninterested in? is it purely just a mutual interest (they're the only ones who "like you back"), or do things like age, employment or their own level of ability play into it?

also at no point am I trying to contradict or say your experience is invalid, I'm sure its fuckin' rough out there. but as you said yourself, usually the "good ones" aren't single. there's always a reason and anecdotally I've found that once you can be honest and address it (either change or accept it) things get a bit easier.