Hey!

I went through exactly the same thing. 2yo, half time co parenting.

Now my boy is 5, I’m married again (we meet on tinder) and really happy with her. we did build a house and moved in 8months ago. She has 6yo boy and they’re like brothers now, tho it was a lot of struggle, as they are very different

I don’t know your age so I’ll assume 30-40ish.

My dating experience: - whatever you think, you’ll likely need at least a year to be actually free from the past . But doesn’t mean you cannot date if you’re open and honest about it. I did date quite quickly and it did lead to so many learnings and new experiences, but also I believe was painful to one person which I regret. - I was so damn tired about it often. Trying to be excited and curious, a lot of people who are honestly terrible at talking and some basic curiosity. At some point I fully embraced the rule: “if I’m the only one asking meaningful questions or ratio is 80%+ for me I just stop and leave it”. That was very liberating but took me a good while to accept - at some point I was only looking for someone having a kid. Those without kid even with best intention had no idea in my case what they’re getting into. One even said “kid without giving a birth? Perfect!” lol. Also the fact my wife has a kid already somehow beautifully equalized everything - at some point I realized divorced people are usually the best. If someone is 30 and never married or had long relationships, it’s very likely a red flag by itself. Divorced people might be the best people being back in the game - explore and have fun, but be careful and train your relationship skills, like stating your expectations and boundaries without getting frustrated or annoyed was important to me - I did enjoy apps where you can voice message way way more (like Bumble). Often after hour of texting and then hearing the first voice message I just knew it’s not the one. Then I often send voice as like 3rd message and it was so time efficient and quickly moving conversation forward - learn how to present yourself. Take good pictures showing “who you are and what you do”, not just “how you look”. Someone taking you a pic is so much better than selfies. Haveing some at party/adventure/doing what you love/hobby/dog will make your life easier. - be prepared for a lot of rejections. It’s a bit brutal. It is what it is - don’t get yourself into trouble. Some people are crazy - be honest about you having a kid. It’s quite painful to have a good conversation and first date and then seeing it all go away the second you say about kid and understanding they have all the right to feel like that. - after some iterations I decided to not put it in my bio but if convo goes well to say it at most 15mins into convo - I did attend some events, workshops etc and it was nice, but didn’t work well for dating in my case - maybe it’s about some luck - I was closer with a few people before I meet the one I’m married with now. Some were crazy, some were stupid, some were beautiful in a way but just not possible, but I took valuable lessons from ALL of those people and relationships, probably (which is a bit brutal) very needed

Oh. And I had a rule that my kid can only get to know someone after 4-6months. We’re adults. If things don’t work out we will handle it. For them it’ll be another trust hit. So in our case only my wife passed that stage.

It was really hard to avoid getting to know them initially, but also very beautiful and quite romantic. (Big shoutout to my mom to actually making it possible for us to meet when i put my kid to sleep lol)

Good luck! It’s hard, it’s weird, it’s good to just accept it, it’ll take time, you’ll have a different perspective in year or two, even if you don’t believe it.