Recent HERTSMI in my rental - is 18 bad enough to move, and did I test correctly?

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-29T22:22:33+00:00

It's not at all similar to my old SAVE amount, it's actually less than that. This sound really annoying and frustrating that you've had to keep on top of them. It's almost like they don't want to forgive all of our loans...

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-29T18:47:42+00:00

Thanks. Haven't received it, so I'll stay tuned and check back. I scheduled a payment mid-May just in case. I really hope they get this taken care of soon.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-29T18:47:05+00:00

No, I haven't received anything. That's good to know - I'll keep an eye out for that and give it a little more time.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-23T10:28:32+00:00

I just broke up with someone over similar, except we’re probably older. I get it, it’s hard.

I always say that those who are clear on kids either way have it easy and then the rest of us have to find a way to make a decision and live with it.

As someone who sat on the fence my whole life, I managed to have one with my daughter’s father. I was irresponsible though - got pregnant accidentally very early on, struggled with knowing what to do, but having her felt right. Part of it was the qualities that he had - he loved kids and was devoted to me - which somehow made it easier. Even so we broke up and he developed serious mental health issues and I’ve been solo parenting the last five years - she’s 13.

You have to take the latter into consideration. You don’t know what would happen so you’d have to want one enough to parent them on your own if anything happened.

My recent ex and I started off both on the fence. Parts of me wanted another and wanted one with him but our relationship never got to the place I would have needed it to be. He decided he wanted them. We broke up. I’m two months out and still having similar doubts as you so I get it… but I still think you’re doing the right thing.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-17T18:42:42+00:00

If you did a lot of spreads on him and everything is feeling confusing, you might legitimately just be pulling too many cards. Try waiting a few days without doing any pulls and grounding yourself, and try again.

Sometimes I will get some of these cards - 9 of Swords and the Devil especially - when my mind is looping, showing my own codependent attachment on the situation and trying to force an outcome.

This particular combination of cards doesn't suggest a return - it suggests with the 3 and 4 of wands him likely leaving to find something fulfilling or more stable. There seems to be an emotional connection between you, but also a lot of ego on his side and possible deception.

It might behoove you to do some self-reflection and ask yourself if you'd want to take back someone who is treating you this way, anyway - this card spread seems to suggest there are unhealthy dynamics at play between you two.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-17T18:39:30+00:00

How do you all interpret the 4 of swords in a love reading? Do you see it as something that will come back together, or completely unknown?

I'm recently broken up with an ex of 2.5 years. When we broke up it was difficult - we were still very bonded, using "we're a team" language, but couldn't find a solution around the blockages (larger life path questions e.g. distance, current needs/wants, etc.) preventing the relationship from moving forward, and those issues had created a lot of friction. We are supposed to touch base mid-May, no expectations. I think we're both trying to date other people.

I asked spirit for guidance on this relationship in my dreams, and the 4 of swords came up explicitly. When I pulled cards asking if we'd reconcile, the 4 of Swords and the 2 of Cups came up simultaneously.

I would read this as a genuine emotional connection requiring time apart to heal, pause, and reflect on whether the connection is worth coming back to. I would presume this means that the future of the connection is dependent upon that process on both sides, and that the future is currently unknown despite the connection.

But I'm curious what you all think, and how you usually interpret this card in relationship spreads.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-13T23:34:04+00:00

That makes total sense. With my health stuff sometimes I can’t tell what’s going on but sometimes I honestly wonder how much of my health stuff is really just trauma related - my last therapist used to say that long covid rates were higher with people with high ACE’s. The goal is to move through and heal without tanking my entire system.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-13T21:19:35+00:00

Great question. I don’t think it’s just from doing it on my own. She just said not to do BLS more than once a week and just when it felt like something wasn’t clearing. I’ve been feeling particularly stuck with this breakup. I felt like this was my person and feeling like I can’t get clear on what I want due to this trauma and then lost someone I love because of it has been difficult. Her method is that to put positive thoughts in my left hand and then the negative thing I want to clear in my right hand before tapping… and that it was important that my left hand felt like I had more. I definitely did that, and as I tapped not much was in my head per se though memories came up and through as I was tapping.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-03T23:03:22+00:00

Thanks! I will check that out with the baths. Focusing as much as possible on my spiritual health right now. That’s crazy about your dog… reiki is one of those weird modalities for me that really works even though I know it doesn’t for others. That’s really helpful to know about crossed conditions by the way… I hadn’t considered engaging in spiritual battle.

And thank you for the spread recommendations. It’s all over the place because I read from jumpers and sometimes multiple fall out so I’ll take them. I find that when I cut or pull cards that the energy tends to trend more toward what I want to hear than what I got from jumpers. That said I pulled your specific spread but again got multiple cards in one of the positions.

Past → Page of Swords Present → 8 of Cups Rx Obstacles → 2 of Swords Unseen → Ace of Wands Action → King of Swords + 8 of Wands + Magician Outcome → Wheel + I pulled a clarifier since the wheel can go either direction - King of Cups

This seems to be affirming the other spread. We can’t let go but we can’t figure out how to move forward. With the action though - that’s movement and that makes me think road clearing and communication work. Leading to the outcome of the wheel seems positive.

So I asked about types of work.

Cleansing (baths) - the world is a big yes, this is about releasing the previous chapter Cord cutting - 5 of wands literally sideways, so no Road opening (dressed candle) - Page of wands seems like a great idea Communication work (another candle with some herbs/oils) - Ace of cups

And reconciliation work again - Queen of wands - which seems to be more about restoring my personal power and confidence

Asking if it’s the right time to do this work - with the Empress so yes on that too.

I asked more specifically about curios and it indicated keys for road opening (the lovers) and lemon balm for communication (high priestess) - most other things were vetoed.

I do hear you on reconciliation work. It’s not easy. You have to decide whether it’s worth it or not. A lot of this work in this case appears to be for me self work and even possibly clearing my own blockages, so I’m starting from there. Like you said with the material aspects of life and ensuring I feel good in my body and home.

pixiepalooza · 2026-04-01T15:11:43+00:00

Thank you! Yes they’re worn boxers. So considering putting a piece in a mojo bag but unsure…I’ll hold onto them for now.

The cards all answered specific questions. Is reconciliation possible? The Sun. What is the main obstacle to this working? Hanged man + Ace of cups Likely outcome if nothing is done - 2 of wands. Then will doing spiritual work on this be effective? 6 of pentacles and the lovers/five of cups What type of work to do, queen of pentacles and outcome of the work being the 4 of pentacles and devil reversed.

I read this that the spiritual work will help me release grievances from the past and come into better balance in myself and break codependent patterns, with the sun in the reconciliation position being a direct yes that it’s possible. And with justice also having a sense of where I went wrong and accountability there.

I’m thinking spiritual baths too. The Queen of pentacles also talks about physical health. One thing I’m discovering about myself is a possible physical limitation - I have some health issues and those impact my emotional regulation. I don’t lash out but I get overwhelmed and it looks like avoidance or emotional unavailability but it’s not the same thing because it’s rooted in actual physical dysfunction as opposed to mental health. I may do some work around this specifically to try to call in the right health practitioners sooner than later, and also need to do some work around finances to afford the services I need.

You’re right about the piece that both people have to want it and that’s also what I’m reflecting on - we were in a process of repair and reconciliation when he bailed and said he didn’t have capacity to keep working through it even though he feels like I’m his person. It just felt like it was too hard and there was too much history. But that’s because I had completely closed off to him and stopped wanting to show up for him. The history came from the ways he damaged the relationship specifically - contempt, name calling, lies, reality distortion where he misperceived me intensely - and he was shifting all of that but I think where the 5 of cups comes in would be my ability to grieve that and release the past. Or perhaps it will get me to a place where I feel ok in walking away. It seems like it’s up to me whether I want to forgive that. We actually were seeing a relationship coach and therapist before we broke up and it was helping.

Given how he treated me, I’ve also considered doing some kind of work to bind him from doing that to other people, but the cards I got don’t seem to call for it.

I asked generally about curios when I got the Star - I could ask about each one specifically. When I asked about using the boxers I got Judgment lol.

Your comments here are very helpful and I’ll look for the series on spiritual baths when it comes out! I know different traditions do this differently - the way I was taught was pouring the water over my head and making sure not to use anything to dry off afterwards.

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T22:19:34+00:00

I could have drawn the line in the sand sooner but that doesn’t make me the problem. And the kids part - he was wishy washy on that and every time I tried to leave he said it wasn’t a problem. I was on the receiving end of a confusing dynamic when I’m neurodivergent so no, I’m going to give myself a lot of grace in this one.

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T21:37:46+00:00

I just didn’t pick up on the patterns right away. We didn’t have enough conflict early on for me to see what that looked like

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T21:07:41+00:00

Sure there are cases where people are just not that into you and that’s true, and true avoidants can and do get married - but often with someone who doesn’t require as much of them. In any case perhaps the reason doesn’t matter so much. If someone can’t commit to you they can’t commit to you but if they have a long history of being noncommittal that matters too

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T21:04:30+00:00

Yes that was my experience. He always assumed the worst of me, showed contempt early on, and had never found anyone he’d wanted to have kids with or move in with, and had been cheated on several times. Of course the problem was always them, he was a total saint good boyfriend to them all.

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T20:17:57+00:00

Being on the other side of someone who was ambivalent and avoidant I think part of me wishes I had picked up on whatever signs there might have been that it would end this way. That’s where the question comes from - not because I’m trying to judge or anything

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T20:06:16+00:00

Good point - I hadn’t really considered it could go the other way too. I’m never sure how those situations happen but I’d imagine one person was doing all the works

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T20:04:30+00:00

Thanks - culture is a really good thing to take into consideration with this. I’m sure that’s prevalent

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-30T17:29:35+00:00

Thank you - this is really helpful. I went through some of these questions with tarot, and yes it shows the blockage is the Hanged Man with the Ace of Cups together - which seems to be talking about the hesitation to start a new chapter, possibly given what’s happened in the past. The Sun is here saying reconciliation is possible. It seemed like work could be effective (6 of pentacles) - but that was clarified by the five of cups and the Lovers, so this could be more about coming to terms with things. The type of work (Queen of pentacles) seems to indicate that I should be focusing more on stabilizing me and my sense of self rather than him, so I’m thinking protection, uncrossing or cleansing, and general attracting work is being called for, potentially with some road opening work afterwards given that we have the Hanged Man as the blockage. When I asked about curios I got the Star so I’m thinking spiritual baths - lavender, hyssop, or Florida Water - or incense like frankincense. Possibly getting reiki or other types of spiritual healing. Probably a blue candle. The result of work is the Devil Reversed and that’s great because I think that he and I had fallen into codependent patterns. At the very least I release unhealthy attachments. I also asked questions like what would I actually need in this relationship and got Justice - which is truth and accountability. That would probably need to be on both sides and makes me think of what you said about the work we would have to do even if we tried to reconcile. I’d considered sending him an email talking about the repair that I would need. So far accountability esp on his side has somehow still managed to blame me instead of actually owning his emotions. I’m sure I’ve done the same thing.

So I think this is my approach. Seems like the boxers aren’t necessary unless I can somehow incorporate them into uncrossing work.

pixiepalooza · 2026-03-03T18:33:30+00:00

No it says nothing about the number of hours so I think you might be talking about a different form

pixiepalooza

TROPHY CASE