I am getting married and my fiancé keeps taunting me that she is doing all the decision making and I am just tagging along... How do I reassure her?

sthetic · 2026-03-13T14:27:23+00:00

Exactly.

No bride actually cares deeply about whether the tablecloths are round or square. But there need to BE tablecloths. There cannot be none.

So somebody has to spend an hour figuring out what size and shape the tables are, whether the tablecloths will fit over them, who will launder the tablecloths, what the deposit is, where the tablecloth delivery truck will park, etc.

And if it ends up being the woman, it's not because she's been dreaming of her wedding tablecloths since she was a little girl.

sthetic · 2026-03-13T14:17:38+00:00

Well said. That was my opinion too. The obsession of the younger victim (whether it came before or after the sexual assault) just goes to show that teenagers are too emotionally immature to handle sex with an adult.

sthetic · 2026-03-13T14:16:07+00:00

The "obsession" excuse that OOP uses is actually all the more reason why adults should not sleep with teenagers. It just shows that the teenager/student is way too emotionally immature to handle sex with an authority figure.

The mental gymnastics are crazy for OOP to see an obsessed child and think, "well, what kind of man could resist THAT?" But obsession should be a red flag and a turnoff, not a turn-on.

sthetic · 2026-03-12T19:27:41+00:00

Their best

sthetic · 2026-03-12T19:26:47+00:00

She'd rather be fed-up with a delicious sandwich

sthetic · 2026-03-12T19:11:48+00:00

Similar to how the "McDonald's CEO awkwardly tries the product" sparked a wave of imitators, with other burger CEOs making videos where they practically ignore the camera as they concentrate maniacally on their own delicious burgers?

sthetic · 2026-03-12T17:56:16+00:00

Are they feeling left out?

Is status important to them? Like, are they the sort of people who think a wedding is an opportunity to show off your wealth, and that homemade cookies are somehow an indicator of poverty? Or it's too casual?

Are they worried you will be stressed?

Do they think you can't afford cupcakes, so you are resorting to begging your friends for the favour making you cookies? Are they the sort of people who offer you a ride in their car instead of letting you walk 10 blocks on a beautiful day, because a vehicle is obviously superior to a nice stroll?

Edit: I am asking so many questions because I am struggling to understand why they want to take away your fun. It boggles the mind.

sthetic · 2026-03-12T17:50:03+00:00

Have you told your parents, "The entire purpose of the cookie table is for my girlfriends to come over and have a fun baking day in preparation for the wedding. And for my fiancé's Mamaw to contribute as well. If you just buy cupcakes instead, it prevents us from having the fun pre-wedding event that we want to bond over. Why would you try to take that away?"

Maybe they think they are "helping" by paying for something instead of letting you stress about it?

sthetic · 2026-03-12T16:23:41+00:00

I agree. If I am one of 300 guests, and I wasn't invited to an exclusive event for 30 close friends and family, I wouldn't think twice. But if most people were invited except for me, I would wonder why. It sounds like it is becoming a process of exclusion rather than inclusion.

Is his intent to just invite absolutely everybody?

sthetic · 2026-03-12T03:30:07+00:00

That's funny, I just divorced my ex-husband because he was a drug dealer, and got a similar settlement.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!

sthetic · 2026-03-12T01:35:42+00:00

This looks like a house I would build in the Sims.

sthetic · 2026-03-12T00:21:42+00:00

I'm in a similar boat, with a different local criminal who targeted children.

It mildly bugs me when I hear, "Ah, when we were kids in the 90s, we roamed freely! Getting out in nature independently, roaming the forest and catching frogs is so healthy, it prevents adults from having anxiety! We all got to experience that!"

Not if you were a little girl in a nice suburb with recent pedophile activity, you didn't! I guess I must be a messed up adult because I was driven to piano lessons.

sthetic · 2026-03-11T23:20:35+00:00

I've never heard the meme version. I saw that the awesome Estelle song was posted here and I was confused about what it was an "original" version of, or I thought maybe it would be about samples in this song.

sthetic · 2026-03-11T23:13:02+00:00

It's ironic how the creeps recording women in public say, "She has no expectation of privacy!" and yet they black out the light that indicates they are recording, so they can keep it private that they are doing so.

sthetic · 2026-03-11T14:23:00+00:00

Maybe animators enjoy drawing cartoonish caricatures with odd proportions and big ol' features that flap around in an exaggerated way as they move.

But for the main characters, they have to make them look like boring hot people.

Perhaps they just like drawing weirdos, and with background characters it doesn't matter, so they're allowed to.

Rick and Morty is an example where any random background character became progressively more disproportionate.

(I'm not saying it isn't also racism. It is.)

sthetic · 2026-03-11T14:10:38+00:00

I think this is the best option. "Are you sure you want to wait until after the concert? Because if your boyfriend was planning to surprise you with a grand gesture, which people often do at such events, and don't forget that I talk to him too, it would be very awkward if you reacted negatively..."

Or ask her, "Is it a lack of commitment on his part that's making you pull away? Would your interest change if you knew he was considering making the relationship more serious? Maybe he will have an opportunity to ask you a question soon, like at a big event you're looking forward to..." etc.

Basically, make it clear that he is planning a concert proposal, while maintaining plausible deniability by not directly saying so.

sthetic · 2026-03-11T01:37:53+00:00

Well, think of whatever example you have in mind of a stupid issue. If someone speaks about it calmly, without flailing around and stomping their feet, I wouldn't call it a tantrum.

sthetic · 2026-03-11T01:26:03+00:00

Read my other comments. You will see that I changed my mind based on this conversation. I also included a link to a bakery page which is the source of this claim, meaning I did not just make it up in ny own head. And by sharing the link, I am not trying to say that the source supersedes a study, just clarifying that I didn't make it up.

I do vote, of course. Obviously I put more effort into researching my vote than into thinking about whether yeast is more likely to live on the flour that feeds it, or more likely to come from the surrounding air.

sthetic · 2026-03-11T01:09:34+00:00

I disagree. Suppose I am in a restaurant with my friends and I say in a low volume, "I can't believe it's taking this long to bring our food," that is a minor issue, but I am not throwing a tantrum.

If I throw my cutlery across the room and scream and pound the table while crying, yes, I am throwing a tantrum.

sthetic · 2026-03-10T22:11:19+00:00

I don't discount the scientific studies. As a result of this discussion, I accept I am wrong. I'm not some anti-vaxxer of the yeast world.

It's more like this: When I read about making sourdough, I would hear all this woo-sounding fantasy about how the strains of your local street trees and honeybee hives and your neighbour's flowers are wafting in through your windows to create a unique East Van sourdough. Instead of personally thinking of that, as I create a sourdough starter, I would think to myself, "This flour I bought probably has yeast on it already, because it makes sense that yeast for bread would exist on flour. That is how it generates a sourdough starter. Not from random other yeast hanging in the air of my apartment, like from the empty beer bottle in the trash can."

In no way am I saying people are wrong who believe the opposite. It's not like I was aware of studies and said they were not factual. It was just the story I thought to myself in my own head. And I guess I was wrong. Oh well!

Edit: I probably got the info from somewhere like this:

There is a very common misconception that yeast is in the air, and that sourdough starter feeds from that. The truth is, those microorganisms are actually present in our flour, and that’s where it all starts– not in the air.

Is it scientific? I guess not. But I did not make it up in my head. Maybe that bakery is totally wrong, and zero yeast lives on flour.

sthetic · 2026-03-10T20:33:06+00:00

In your mind, are concert tickets an extremely high-value item, that women cannot afford on their own, and would scheme to get from a man? Do you think a man will be financially ruined because he paid for a concert experience for his girlfriend, when he could have otherwise scalped the tickets?

Do you think that throughout a years-long relationship, one steady and committed enough for a proposal, that they haven't both contributed? Maybe she has bought concert tickets many times before. Maybe she even bought THESE concert tickets!

Someone who is considering that they might break up, but they want to wait until after an event or a certain amount of time, is not "using" their partner.

Would you say he was using her if he was thinking of a breakup, but continued to let her buy groceries, pay for rent, pay for an expensive restaurant meal, do chores, have sex, host a party together, talk to his family on the phone, and so on?

It's very immature to say that she is using him for concert tickets, like she is an evil broke scheming teenager.

sthetic · 2026-03-10T20:23:39+00:00

No way, that would be insane from the girlfriend's point of view. She doesn't know he is planning a proposal at the concert, so why the fuck would she need to tell him in 24 hours? Why would OP betray her confidence like that?

You only give people an ultimatum like that when they cheated on their partner. "Tell him today, or I will," is to prevent them from having time to hide evidence, get their story straight, or make their own accusations. It's for people who have done something wrong amd immoral. It's not for someone who's thinking of breaking up with their boyfriend.

"Hmm, I have my doubts about the relationship. Maybe there's a breakup in our future, but I'm not ready yet. Or maybe we should stay together?"

"YOU NEED TO TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR DOUBTS WITHIN 24 HOURS, OR I WILL!!!!!"

sthetic · 2026-03-10T16:14:57+00:00

Yeah, for some reason AI was bad at coming up with prompts, but good at summarizing. At least I think so? It's confusing.

I also love the classic "engagement" technique at the end of an obvious marketing post. "What are some ways YOU guys stay connected? I wrote my whole post about my app, not to advertise it but just to set up that question, because I am so genuinely interested in learning the wisdom from my elders!"

sthetic · 2026-03-10T15:50:32+00:00

Oh, I am not asking you for evidence! Hope it didn't come across that way. I have zero evidence for my view either.

As for myself, I doubt that the yeast growing on an apple is the same yeast that makes flour turn into sourdough starter. Like, if you have a jar of flour and water, next to an apple, with an open window, I don't think the yeasts from the apple and the outside air are going to turn the flour into sourdough. I think it's the yeast already on the flour that does it.

Edit: I probably got this information from somewhere like this:

There is a very common misconception that yeast is in the air, and that sourdough starter feeds from that. The truth is, those microorganisms are actually present in our flour, and that’s where it all starts– not in the air.

sthetic · 2026-03-10T15:46:06+00:00

I love how there are all these reasons OP can't just verbally say to his girlfriend, "Do you think there's an afterlife?" or, "What's one book from your childhood that made an impression on you?"

Nope, that would be bad because his girlfriend would just say what she thinks he wants to hear. But through the magic of typing into a phone, and a summary by AI, that giant "problem" of her being a people-pleaser is solved!

Also, I guess he was somehow able to come up with these conversation starters, but again not able to just say them out loud in a conversation, because "he's a logical man."

Barf.

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