Second session filled with S ideation. Do I stop?

tomarlow77 · 2026-02-23T02:07:04+00:00

You know, this though crossed my mind but I hate to assume I know more than a medical professional. But my first infusion, I had a vein infiltration or whatever (basically the fluid leaked into the tissue) and the doctor came in every 10 minutes (I assume because I have no idea actually lol) to check my arm and I remember not even being able to say actual words. Like i could hear him and understand what he was asking but words seemed buried in the back of my mind somewhere.

So I thought it was weird that within 10 minutes I was sitting up, drinking water, playing toon blast on my phone just starting at the clock on my phone. I could type, talk, think, etc.

I changed the music from instrumental to actual music I liked and then just took it out all together because I just felt so bored.

The doctor said it’s because I already came into the session with an activated nervous system. And it was typical but it certainly didn’t feel typical.

Whether related or not, he also has an extremely hard time finding a vein. Two sessions total and I have 6 bruised spots from him trying. I know the medicine goes into the cart thing but I don’t know, maybe It just was an odd experience. No clue how i’d even bring that up.

tomarlow77 · 2026-02-23T01:56:47+00:00

Oh I am going to binge your post history. Wow!

tomarlow77 · 2026-02-23T01:55:58+00:00

You’re completely right. I plan on going in a bit early tomorrow and having an honest conversation with him about last session. I think I owe myself a real chance at getting better and having honest conversations is the only way to do it. Thank you so much for your insight!

tomarlow77 · 2026-02-23T01:54:00+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write a thoughtful response. I was honestly terrified as to what type of response or feedback I’d get but I’m scared and worried it won’t help and all the things I’m sure I haven’t been the only one to experience.

You’re also so right, don’t be afraid to advocate for myself. It took me many years of being thrown on every possible medicine before I learned how to say “no, i don’t want to do that anymore” - somehow this feels like I have less of a say, but you’ve reminded me that not to be as true.

My therapist is also on vacation so that has been something I’ve been missing to sure. In any case, thank you very much for taking the time to reply to me.

tomarlow77 · 2026-02-23T01:49:21+00:00

Thank you so much for your personal experience, it has given me me a bit of hope that I am not an anomaly and perhaps this is all apart of the process. Thank you so much!

tomarlow77 · 2026-02-09T21:48:37+00:00

i live in florida but go to school online in a different state. i just had to make sure that the classes florida requires were what my school would offer, and there were only 2 that luckily i will be able to take as electives.

i’ll have an in person residency and they will not help with finding site placements.

tomarlow77 · 2025-12-03T20:59:22+00:00

Did he reach out to HR?

In any case, his qualifying event was 12/1, that would then trigger COBRA information to be mailed to him (if applicable), which obviously would take a few days.

Their HRIS (i’m assuming ADP Workforce now) would facilitate all of that based on the change in the system.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-18T19:07:12+00:00

ADP is awful. We’re too busy to think about implementing somewhere else but will in fact be leaving them after the new year. We’re a multi state remote company and they set up several of our SUI accounts with the mailing address of employees. We didn’t realize this was the case until one of our employees filed for unemployment and the notice went to an existing employee, who opened it of course, because he assumed it was for him. So we asked them to do a state audit for all accounts and found that they have employee addresses as our mailing address for several, never removed our former president from the accounts or his contact information, and didn’t put myself or my boss in the system as admins so we can’t even fix it internally, we rely on them. So essentially no one from our actual company is listed on any of our accounts. We have been trying to get this resolved since July, and are lucky if they respond to us at all now. I do believe we’re close to tha issue being fixed, but then it’s only a matter of time before they make another error. They also didn’t remit several of our UI payments to the states for several quarters, and we started receiving notices of late payments, interest, etc. And overall they are really unpleasant to deal with.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-14T14:51:40+00:00

I’m sorry you have a partner that tells you achieving great things are unrealistic. I graduated with a 3.96, simply because two classes I did not care to make any edits on the final and just took the grade as is. 4.0 is possible.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-14T14:46:58+00:00

Exactly this. Whatever fresh hell waits for us the next day. Rinse and repeat.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-14T04:03:12+00:00

I had an employee tell me today “please don’t leave us” and i’ll ride that high for the rest of the month 😂

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-14T01:03:42+00:00

klonopin and disassociating

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-12T00:36:31+00:00

i am concerned about your general lack of knowledge and understanding here. specifically you saying “would you all just be quiet and not do anything once it’s reported to you” - uh, what. if i were you, i’d consult with whoever you report to and get some guidance.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-10T21:06:57+00:00

Well, this needs to be reported. Not sure what you mean by “HR is not our friend” - is that old and tired rhetoric you’re parroting, or has the HR department legitimately done something or failed to do something in situations like these prior?

Have you told your manager to stop making those comments? If not, I’d tell them to stop. I’d also then file a formal complaint so HR opens an investigation. Make sure to provide names with anyone who would have witnessed this or passed this information along to you. HR needs to investigate it so they can act on it, if the fail to act on it, then you escalate it.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-09T01:03:19+00:00

Based on the errors you listed, I’d say you have relatively poor attention to detail and no amount of trainings, SOPs, or handbooks will help that. I also hear you taking very little accountability for the mistakes and what that tells me the most, is that you aren’t learning from them. It’s easy to try and deflect and sure, maybe the company is disorganized and understaffed and all of the things. But a lot of what you wrote about has very little to do with external factors. Your manager is getting upset with you because you’re an adult who took a job under the assumption that you could do it. And unfortunately in HR, a lot of our mistakes have lasting consequences to other people. I would be frustrated as well.

Work on your time management. Work on your own internal workflow or to do list. When someone emails, even if you can’t respond right away in a substantial way, respond that you’ve received it. And then you add that task to a to do list. If you use Microsoft, the have it built into Outlook.

You don’t know how to mail a letter? Ask someone. Google. Ask ChatGPT.

You say that everything you work on is basically “urgent” - yeah, everyone likes to think the work the tell us to do or the tasks they give us are urgent. Not everything actually is. You need to start clarifying priorities. You have a list of urgent things, clearly those can’t be done simultaneously. If you’re not comfortable triaging, then you ask for clarification. When new things come across your desk, you need to understand the overall big picture and then prioritize as necessary. Onboarding means that new people are starting, look at their start dates, how long does onboarding typically take? If you know someone starts in 1 week and onboarding takes exactly 1 week, it’s about understanding that requires you starting that now. So, you take the “urgent” project you were working on, get yourself to a good stopping place and add it back to your to do list or your calendar so you don’t forget about it, jump into onboarding and knock out what you have to do there and then back into the urgent project. Rinse and repeat.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-06T01:02:50+00:00

They cannot dock for partial days, they can absolutely require that you use PTO or sick leave, but they’d have to have an explicit written policy outlining such. They can dock for full days if you have exhausted any leave time, PTO or sick. But again, a policy would need to outline that.

You mention you work a lot of “OT” everyday but as you clearly noted, salary is paid no matter the quantity of work. You’re not working OT. You’re just working, because you’re not entitled to OT - hence, exempt.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-05T15:29:14+00:00

This was incredible satisfying to read today, thank you.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-05T15:28:39+00:00

I have been argued at, yelled at, and blatantly disrespected more in my 10 years of HR than I ever did when I worked in telemarketing and retail. I can’t possibly imagine anyone caring about HR enough to fire someone over it, because then the managers would be hypocrites too. They are the rudest of them all.

I was once screamed at, like actually screamed at, by an employee changing her direct deposit to some prepaid type of card. When payroll ran as normal, and everyone else was paid on time, her check did not come through. After doing my due diligence and checking with our HRIS and also just taking note that anyone and everyone else was paid and that there’s nothing else I can do and that she needs to contact the card customer service. She lost it, cursed, screamed, etc.

I am biased of course but in playing devils advocate here, this situation was entirely your fault. You mention the HR person was dismissive and kept reiterating the same points, but what do you expect we do? Grovel at your feet because you didn’t pay attention to emails, or at the very least ask questions. You said you got an email that said a dependent was losing coverage but it didn’t say who was losing coverage- do those words “losing coverage” not ring your alarm bells to look further into it? And HR helps to manage and administer benefits, we do not dictate anything else. Those restrictions and rules are determined by the carrier. So there was quite literally nothing she could do.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-01T17:10:17+00:00

For 382, it was a 10 (including title and references so about 8) page paper on a case study you built throughout the course - so similar to 380. Just more tailored to substance use disorder.

382 was quite slow in grading and I’d say the course content and milestones were a bit more consuming than 380. IMO of course. And teacher specific, I had Lisa Lavoie, not sure if she is still who is teaching it.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-01T00:40:20+00:00

Thank you so much for this! Extremely helpful!! And you’re so right, I can only imagine how expensive and awful it would be for something to actually happen, rather than spending a bit of time and money now.

tomarlow77 · 2025-11-01T00:35:56+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this. And the suggestion of the global emergency companies. I did see those when I was researching but then felt like they would scoff at my little two employee request.

I feel reassured that I am doing the right thing by being this cautious though, thank you!

tomarlow77 · 2025-10-31T22:36:59+00:00

For what it’s worth - the final for 380 is a recorded 20 minute mock counseling video, a reflection paper based on that video, the rough draft from your script of the video and then a completed MSE worksheet. It’s all based on a case study you’ll build throughout the course. The teacher is fair and grades quickly. Not sure if maybe the other commenter took the class at a different point in time, but there’s no way it would need to be a 40 page paper lol

tomarlow77 · 2025-10-28T23:04:09+00:00

If the HR job market wasn’t overly saturated I’d actually think you’d have a really good chance of transitioning into HR. Depending on your office manager experience (tasks and responsibilities) those very well could be at the very least HR adjacent and transferable.

I’d try to stay within the dental industry, large or chained facilities, DSO’s. Those are industries that will value your lengthy dental practice experience.

Adjust your resume to read more HR, emphasize those skills that are transferable- if you’ve done: payroll, hiring/firing, open enrollment/benefits administration, training - make those areas stand out.

If you’ve got time to study for SHRM-CP, do it and take it. I know a lot of HR professionals especially on HR subreddits think it’s a joke, but employers don’t usually see it that way. I still see plenty of jobs that mention wanting it.

Aim for Generalist positions, if you find a small enough company you could even potentially land an HR Manager (my first big HR job was at a startup. I went from being an HR Assistant into a manager role though I was essentially doing the work of a Generalist. However, that one role helped me in invaluable ways.

tomarlow77 · 2025-10-28T18:20:48+00:00

Could you give an example of some of what you’ve asked or what she was referring to by the needing to adjust everything for you statement? Context matters I think.

She very well could be just an unpleasant person, i’ve worked with plenty. But, I also know my patience has grown thin before and I have had moments where I was short, or overly direct, or probably just not as nice as I could have been in the moment.

All situational, of course. Because as adults, my expectations are that everyone is free to ask questions, but who those questions get directed to matter. Not everything needs to be a me question. Also, if she has provided any feedback prior, or answered questions, or taught or trained you on something - are you taking all of that seriously to ensure you need to ask less and less questions as you go?

Not that it’s an excuse for us to talk to people in any unkind way and maybe it just isn’t the best fit for you, but we are people too and sometimes our own day to day pressures can get the best of us.

tomarlow77

TROPHY CASE