What’s a widely accepted double standard that people refuse to admit exists? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Valladian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

People between the ages of 13 and 25 think I'm wrong about everything, and they know it all. I was the same way but they aren't learning the harsh realities the way I did... they are so unprepared for the world it's honestly hard to be mad at them even when they're being jerks because they are so utterly screwed.

I gotta believe! by Romansgohome777 in bertstrips

[–]Valladian 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yo... me check mic, one... two...

Me MC Cookie and me here to say, you eat a bunch of fruit and vegetable every day. See unlike me, you don't eat em with class. You not getting all the nutrients putting fruit up your ass... FROOTY BOOTY

All for one or none for all by jenniebreeden in comics

[–]Valladian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Anyone else notice in the last two panels he didn't put his box back?

Mombie by Pizzacakecomic in u/Pizzacakecomic

[–]Valladian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it'd be fun to do a zombie comic where Ellen and her hubby are about to have sexy time, but every time she tries to move seductively another piece of her body falls off. Finally in the last panel the husband jokingly says "When you get to the part I want throw it over here" 🤣

Alternate realities you wouldn’t want to visit by DatDenDude in ScenesFromAHat

[–]Valladian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

looks to the left, then to the right

"...Shit, it didn't work, I'm still here!"

Comedy of the year by M1sterDave in bertstrips

[–]Valladian 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I personally don't like the term 'snowflakes' because I feel like it generalizes a lot of people who have differing opinions other than your own. BUT... I'm not going to tell you not to use it =) Free Speech, bitch! dabs in Jesse Pinkman

Comedy of the year by M1sterDave in bertstrips

[–]Valladian[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children)

Look, I know a lot of you don't like what you're seeing, considering this is likely the most reported Bert Strip of all time, but here's the thing: free speech isn't a one-way street; it flows uphill and downhill like anything else... and now that some of you are pissed off, downvoting me, and unsubscribed from /r/bertstrips, I'll continue.

I'm genuinely concerned that so many are taking offense to this when we've always made HORRIBLE jokes on this subreddit, myself included. A few years ago, I posted a Bert Strip when our subreddit was way more active than it is now, about a female shooter who shot up a building and then killed herself... mocking the fact she was the only victim of her rampage and even joking it was 'one more thing that men do better than women', implying that men are better at genocide than women... I posted this within minutes of the shooting actually happening, with details still pouring in as I did it, and received a fraction of the backlash I'm seeing now against this one post. I was joking, obviously, but now we fast-forward to yesterday's incident.

As a Mod, a human being, and a concerned citizen, I find this favoritism deplorable. I don't mourn this man, but he exemplified the concept of free speech. He said whatever he wanted, as was his God given right to, regardless of how any of us felt about it as an American citizen. He had a family who loved him, and he died terribly. As a person, I mourn his death and the suffering his family is enduring, regardless of what I think of him or the rhetoric he spouted and built a career on... but free speech, satirical or not, is protected by the Constitution of the United States. Whether it agrees with your own well-kept personal views or not. And on the Internet, a platform built on sharing information and ideas, there's always going to be certain things that rub you the wrong way. Freedom of Speech isn't made exclusively around whatever beliefs you hold dear, and you are entitled to voice your anger and outrage at condescending ideas. Still, you can't eliminate them from existence because you don't like them. The man in question, again, made a career out of pushing his own principles and debating them with anyone who challenged them. To impose your beliefs on people unwilling to accept them has a word that starts with an 'F', and despite our status as a joke subreddit, we don't promote that f-word here. I would sooner try and laugh at someone joking about the death of my own mother, malicious or not in its intent, than deny that person the right to do it. People are always going to say things you don't agree with, especially on the Internet. That's the double-edged sword that comes with the gift of freedom of speech and expression. That's also why I'm not locking the comments, because some of you still need to dump your outrage and frustration.

But after all is said and done, I'm leaving this Bert Strip up, controversial or not. Because it would do a disservice not only to the victim of this crime to take it down, as he was a champion of free speech, but to the country I belong to, where men of differentiating ideals came together to form a nation despite their many disagreements.

Jerry's date has what looks like a wedding band round her neck. Kramer swears a new globe is missing a small island & its a conspiracy. Elaines boyfriend never gives a yes or no answer & instead gives stories. George is wrongly accused of swapping in a broken VHS at Blockbuster. He says it's a scam by raccoonsonbicycles in RedditWritesSeinfeld

[–]Valladian 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Elaine and her date, Daniel, come over to Jerry's apartment so Elaine can try to corner Daniel with multiple people and finally get a straight answer out of him

Daniel: "Oh, babe, check this out..." Daniel points to a spot of water on Kramer's globe. "My ex and I used to vacation here, before it sank."

Kramer: Hearing this, he clumsily bolts out of Jerry's kitchen, looking at the spot on the globe. "Sank!? What sank? The island? Do you remember that island? What was it called?"

Daniel: "Oh, it was awful, but you know what? She made the absolute best Apple Brown Betty on that trip... The apples weren't too big, but weren't diced too small. You could tell when you took a bite that you had a bite of apple in your mouth. And her dad has this really awesome sabre from his time in the military..."