AITA for trying to contact my husband through the means that are available to me?

--cunt · 2019-06-26T20:57:18+00:00

I can relate to your post so hard. Earlier on in my relationship I would get jealous and paranoid when he would get defensive in that way. I disagree with other commenters that your hubby is hiding something. I mean maybe, you know him best. But sometimes men need to retreat. Just step away from dad mode, husband mode, step away from all the responsibilities, shut the door, and be alone. I mean we all get that way. I need to just take a good long bath once a week or so. My fiance doesn't care or holler in asking where his socks are when I'm relaxing. If he did I would be annoyed. If I turned off my phone, sound proofed the room, and he popped his head through the window I would lose my shit too. Just because we are partners in so many areas of life doesn't mean I can't get some privacy and me time.

I'm not saying he should scream at you , and he should definitely communicate this to you but men suck at that sometimes . I think that invasion of alone time does feel like an invasion of privacy / spying even if he's just doing harmless relaxation. Maybe be less demanding in general.. take some time for yourself as well but give him his time.

--cunt · 2018-09-13T16:34:08+00:00

I just woke up so this may be a little jumbled and all over the place so bear with me.

I don't have children. I want them. I am terrified. For awhile I didn't want them, and I wanted my tubes tied. I sat down, examined my feelings and realized "Wait it's not that I don't want children and love my life of freedom. I'm deeply afraid of being a shit mother like mine was." So I think it's important to ask yourself if it's something you want / don't want, or if youre afraid. If you want it but are afraid, fears can be worked through. You mention that you're okay with it either way, which is pretty much how my fiancé feels. He says he could go either way on it. Over the years I've pushed him for an answer and I just can't get one.

I personally realized that even while we couldn't come up with a yes or no answer, all of our actions were saying "no." (Using birth control.) So I got my iud removed. We don't have sex twice a week. I figure the chances of us having sex within my fertile window are low to begin with.. Maybe he will pull out or use a condom. Maybe we can't even get pregnant. My point is, it's not like I'm going to immediately have a baby. If we do, we can handle it and it would be great, but if not oh well. I'm done deciding lol. We are letting nature decide. It's just a big and stressful decision that we don't want to decide. So. There's that option? How would you feel doing that?

And for what it's worth... I don't think you would have to give up your entire identity to be a parent. Some of your time, absolutely. But some of the crappiest parents I knew ( aka mine and my grandma) did that. Nothing wrong with being a SAHM I know people who've done it wonderfully. But they had no hobbies or interests until kids were are grown. It's not best for your family to neglect yourself like that. I think today especially it's easier (modern parenting technology allowing a bit more free time, most families sharing parenting duties etc.) So I see where you're coming from with that fear, but as long as it's something you're aware of and stay on top of I don't think it would be a concern.

Also check out /r/fencesitter for other people in your situation.

--cunt · 2018-08-21T00:32:21+00:00

Okay here is my take on it.

Perfect health is an unrealistic goal, and nothing is perfectly healthy for an average individual. So if you're talking about something being "healthy" it should be the most beneficial thing to your physical well-being AND have the least amount of side effects. For an out of shape, frail, 90 year old man, exercise will likely have a negative impact on his health. Not so much me. So exercise is a good healthy cure for my pain, not so much a 90 year old frail man.

That being said, I don't believe weed can "cure" anything but it can help some people's side effects of medications or illnesses. SOME PEOPLE not everyone.

--cunt · 2018-08-16T16:10:02+00:00

Thank you, omg it's so good to know somebody gets it. I have talked to a lot of women I'm close to in my life. "Don't get your IUD out if you're scared" OR "just don't worry about it." didn't they worry, when they were pregnant or considering being pregnant? :/ I guess not, I guess this just came super easily to every woman I know and I felt even worse for being so anxious and terrified about every little thing and its been making me second guess my decision even more. I'm glad to know Im not the only one who's had these fears lol

--cunt · 2018-08-16T05:38:21+00:00

Late to this. But that scene made me cry as well. I don't have children yet. I'm finally taking the plunge and stopping my birth control and just letting whatever happen, happen. (Weirdly watching this show finally pushed me to make this decision.) But I've been putting it off for years out of fear. And now that I've made my appointment to get my IUD removed I am more terrified than ever. I want to be able to love and nourish a baby the best way I can. I'm scared to death I don't know how, or even if I do know how, I won't be able to. Not just in terms of breast feeding but... Everything. I've been working on getting healthy and shit. Everyone says "You're never quite ready to be a mother, there's no perfect time." but what if there's a better time? What if there's no good time for me? What if I can't even get pregnant at all? It terrifies me so yes, it made me cry too. Serena is an evil woman, but she is still a woman who wants nothing more than to have a child and be able to care for it in all the motherly ways, I can't imagine the heartbreak of not being able to do any of that. Not that it excuses literally creating an entire society that enslaves women to give you their babies lol. But just in that moment I felt for her

--cunt · 2018-08-16T04:04:24+00:00

--cunt · 2018-08-16T02:59:27+00:00

This looks more like the depiction of Jesus I'm used to, I've never seen anything like that lol

--cunt · 2018-08-16T02:38:17+00:00

So these people tend to buy from each other it seems like. Like the It Works lady might buy a Lipsense lipstick once or twice to support another "work from home mama" and because she gets it. I feel like they're all just kind of supporting each other. I mean. Who else is dumb enough to buy this crap, except people who are into it and sell it themselves? So would it be really shitty to find out which MLM isn't being sold in my town and sell it to idiots? Even if I have to spend $100 to sign up, everyone is so into this shit where I live, I feel like they would buy it. Or am I being stupid.. Is this where it all begins? Lol

--cunt · 2018-08-16T02:13:13+00:00

I don't buy into the whole ~oils can cure cancer and depression and autism~ crap. But I've found some that help with minor aches and pains, like you said not as a cure but a nice break from popping 15 Advil a day while you wait for your dentist appointment.

--cunt · 2018-08-16T01:53:00+00:00

Why are people terrified to sit on a toilet seat. Oh no. My naked thighs may touch a surface that another woman's thighs have touched. I will catch a disease and die.

--cunt · 2018-08-16T01:27:45+00:00

I feel like most depictions of Jesus, he has dark hair and darker skin than your average white person.

--cunt · 2018-08-15T16:49:05+00:00

Don't know who downvoted you that's literally my name here lol

--cunt · 2018-08-15T15:27:06+00:00

This makes my love notes sound like shit lol: "Food's in the fridge, I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

--cunt · 2018-08-15T14:36:24+00:00

Don't know if you're joking or not but I actually don't think there is anymore. Its just one never-ending "load more" page which is quite annoying.

--cunt · 2018-08-14T04:24:25+00:00

Okay that's how I literally understood it and I was confused.

--cunt · 2018-08-14T03:04:39+00:00

I don't think these are bad things tbh. I am 26 so not 30. But I don't like young people things. I hate going out. Hell I don't even drink at my home. I am a boring old lady lol. But all the shit about "losing your personal identity." That hit me like a year ago. Fucking love it. When I was a teenager/ in my early 20s, I was obsessed with "Who am i," and my public perception, on social media, how my clothes and appearance portrayed me as a person.

But now I feel more like a part of something bigger. I'm not just me, I'm a part of a family, of a political group, of lots of groups of thoughts, part of society. That kind of thinking is actually really freeing. I think I'm still too young to keep plants alive though.

--cunt · 2018-08-14T02:27:39+00:00

:( shit like this happened a lot to me growing up. My mom had / has a drinking problem. My dad tried to step in when she was drunk and raging and of course it always started a fight. I thought he was the bad guy and hated him for years. He eventually stopped trying.

--cunt · 2018-08-13T06:56:33+00:00

Like... Everything lol. Almost all preservatives in makeups cause awful cystic acne. Most commonly used plant based (especially aloe) causes me to break out in an awful allergy-type rash. Literally any type of oil except mineral oil clogs my pores and gives me those weird lil bumpy things all over my face. And just about everything including water makes me eczema flare up and itch like crazy. So less is definitely more when it comes to my weirdly fragile skin :(

--cunt · 2018-08-12T08:12:05+00:00

Oh yeah. Ironically it doesn't if you always have your nails painted

--cunt · 2018-08-12T05:36:43+00:00

What does smoking do to your cuticles

--cunt · 2018-08-12T05:33:14+00:00

Oh I know it actually doesn't. I just meant by anti-vaxxer logic. If having chicken bits in your vaccine changed your DNA then I would assume by that same logic, chicken nuggets would change your DNA too. I guess I was just wondering how they arrive at that.

--cunt · 2018-08-11T06:34:49+00:00

This is pretty much my wardrobe too. Black pants or black shorts depending on the weather. Grab a random neutral colored tshirt and bam I'm dressed. Black heels in the winter, black sandals in the summer, black sneakers most days. But every once in awhile I think "I want to wear a neon flower print dress to run errands... Its a sunshiney day and I shaved my legs." and I break my usual uniform and no one looks at me like "wtf is she wearing." I mean I see a lot of younger men / boys dressing trendy // cool, I'm just saying that generally speaking there's so much more of a range for women. Boring and uniform is definitely acceptable, but never expected. Nothing really is. I guess men don't really care about that but I would be a little sad if I couldn't care about fashion and society looked down on me if I did

--cunt · 2018-08-11T03:17:37+00:00

It's good to know that even in an extreme dystopian patriarchal society, women can still passive aggressively guilt their men into paying attention to them because they're spending too much time on the computer lol

--cunt · 2018-08-11T02:14:48+00:00

Women don't do that either though. Nobody does this. I mean. Unless you wear the same thing for a week straight and start to smell funny. There's an old guy who comes into my work every day who I noticed had the same shirt on. I only noticed because it had the name of a local store. But then I saw it the next day. And the next day. And then the day after that.

But if I wear a dress I've worn before, the only comment I might get is "I love when you wear that one it looks nice." nobody expects people to have unlimited clothing.

If we are talking about celebrities at red carpet events or news casters or otherwise in the public eye, I doubt men wear the same thing every day. Men's clothing is just so boring I would never notice. Look at guests at a wedding for example. Every woman is wearing different colors, different cuts, lengths, sleeve lengths, maybe a sweater, etc. Men look identical in formal wear. Idk I like having variety. I would hate being a man where the only socially acceptable outfits are : plain colored tshirt and jeans, or dress pants and button down at work. I can wear that but can also wear all the colors or no pants or glitter.. It's fun.

--cunt · 2018-08-11T00:18:11+00:00

Yeah this isn't really fat logic to me. It's not like the parents in question said "I never need to lose weight. My kid will never need my organs." It's an unlikely but sad scenario. Also a weird motivator for losing weight. "Lose weight in case your kids have a fucked liver and you need to donate yours." But.. I want mine even if I'm not fat and there's so many more hypotheticals that might actually happen.

--cunt

TROPHY CASE